There is lot of mostly good advice here. Ultimately is only you that have the answer to this, trust that you will find the answer. Your post has the seed of the answer already :)
Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
71–80 of 521 posts
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#72Earlier quoted context omitted.
Someone who has been working in a small team for 4 years in a startup has to be "good enough". Which is far better than the average candidate who can't keep a position for more than a year and needs constant help from the manager in order to accomplish anything. Maybe my standards are low, but unfortunately, I have seen so many of these cases.
OP didn’t state where they are from, but there are plenty of places where it is extremely hard to fire, even if an employee is consistently underperforming. Not saying that this is the case in this circumstance (I don’t know OP,) but the “you must be good because you lasted 4 years” heuristic doesn’t work that well outside of the US, or similar markets with at-will employment.
if they were sole dev in a startup for four years and couldn't ship software the startup probably wouldn't have lasted the last four years... Or they very quickly wouldn't be the sole full stack dev any more and relegated to some shit job
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#73> I struggle with evaluating my value in the market to determine my worth
The only way to truly figure this out is to practice and then find out what you're worth in the market.
> I struggle with LeetCode, which is making me feel like even a bigger loser for not being able to solve problems.
You might be better than you think. I remember by the time I got done leetcoding for my last job hunt, I felt maybe 50/50. I genuinely wasn't sure if I would get a good offer. I ended up getting more than fifteen (overkill, I know).
An important insight I had at the end: as you progress with more and more LC problems, you end up scraping the bottom of a barrel. Most of those questions that end up stumping you probably won't be asked, and if they are, you'll actually have an interviewer to talk through them with. In real life you aren't just in a room with a computer by yourself.
You won't really know until you get out there and start trying interviews. The more you interview, the better you'll get. You can do this. You've gotta stop the "loser" framing though. I see nothing in your post indicating you're a loser. You seem crucial to your current company.
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#74Only 10% of programmers are top 10% programmers, 90% are not. At age of 28, you should look at your life in a bigger picture. Instead of spending so much time on work, spend more time on your family and yourself. Also, I want to add that the feeling of being a loser is exactly because you are not thinking about your life holistically. If you are really depressed, and feeling this way all the time, you need to talk to…
This one liner "Only 10% of programmers are top 10% programmers, 90% are not." completely changed my view towards programming, I am also a software developer working at ANZ, but I do feel that I am not doing the great work.
I just wanted to ask how to be at 10% of the top programmers, Is there any pathways? Please suggest, I do feel existential crisis in some point of time.
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#75Would you like to jump on a call and have a chat? Probably easier than trying to help you in this tiny little box.
Book a slot here: https://devopsmentor.youcanbook.me/ (no charge, of course.)
Speak soon(?)
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#76Meta commentary, most comments take this like a personal matter. The biggest picture feels obvious but unspoken: there's a massive dearth of good things to get up to, to commit to, even for the capable & willing. The job ought, to a degree, be it's own reward, especially for knowledge/creative work.
Yeah, there could well be a host of other concerns/blockers. And maybe this person is just stuck & unable to find good pursuits. But I think a lot of SWE's have a hard time finding really good pursuits. We kind of get lucky & find good groups of people anyhow, somehow. But the tasks & environments struggle broadly to provide fulfilment & purpose. Given what we feel capable of, this mismatch becomes, as here, dissonance.
"What I Want To Do As A Software Developer" is another data point I might point to here-abouts. There's a lot it doesnt say to me. But there's a more explicitly stated desire for purpose, which I also find here. https://www.lloydatkinson.net/posts/2022/my-thoughts-on-what...
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#77I'm not a therapist/coach but I do have plenty of experience and I can give you some free advice how to get out of this. If you want to chat, you can send me an email (I have the same user name on GitHub so you can find my details there).
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#78Do you enjoy talking to people about solving their problems? If so, consider switching to Product Management or Sales Engineering. Neither require hardcore cs skills.
Do remember that businesses value you by your ability to solve their problems, not by how elegantly you do it. You're killing your health to compensate for your imposter syndrome, but it sounds like you're just trying to impress people you don't work with.
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#79I suggest therapy. This sounds like depression may be a huge factor. (That’s not meant as an insult, just in case it’s not clear in text, just an attempt at help.)
A lot of “lazy” or “directionless” people are really just depressed.
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#80"I struggle with evaluating my value in the market to determine my worth."
Apply for jobs paying more than you earn now. Settle on one where you aren't expected to do monster hours. Get in touch with a recruiter for advice on the money side.