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I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

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Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#71

Post by gardaani »

fxtentacle wrote: post #42
xvector wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. I am 26 and this is has been the hardest thing for me to come to terms with over the past few years. I thought I'd be happier with a high paying job. So I got a job that pays at the 99.9th percentile for my age. Didn't really make me happier. Then I thought my unhappiness was because of my weight. So I lost 90lbs. Hardest thing I've ever done. But it didn't make me happ…

I believe you mistook the path for the goal, or the future for the now, if you want. Exercise will make you happy, but only while you're doing it. Getting a raise will make you happy, but only for a short time period after that raise. "Having" a relationship won't make you that happy, but the process of building the relationship is highly enjoyable. The key to happiness is to do those things that make you happy while…

> The key to happiness is to do those things that make you happy while you do them.

Exactly. It's not about reaching the destination. It's about enjoying the journey.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#72

Post by idontwantthis »

djaychela wrote: post #38

I was expecting to resonate more with this article, but found that the writer really hadn't been doing much. I often complain to my girlfriend that I've got nothing done, and then she asks what I've done... and it turns out I've actually done a lot. I'm currently splitting my days between regular contract work producing videos (first two hours of the day, 7am-9am), and then after a short break I spend the rest of the…

Below average while working only 2 hours per day or below average per hour?

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#74

Post by bigpeopleareold »

k__ wrote: post #51

I can relate a bit. I'm 36 and often ask myself, what did I do? My parents had kids with 20. My father and grandfather were managers with 25. I met a bunch of people who founded a company before they were 20. Friends of mine traveled from Europe to East Asia as hitchhikers in their 20s. Many of my fellow students work for FAANG. Two are CTOs at middle sized companies and one is even a professor at university. In cont…

I had a conversation with co-workers once. The question is: Do we really want to do what our engineering manager does? I thought maybe I would want to, but as an engineering manager, he has the gravitas and attitude to do that work. I would think that I would have to do that and have been slowly gravitating towards that, but that was never my original motivation into getting into software development. Though, I think the fact that I don't have that position right now is a testament of how rather successful I am of what I originally wanted.

When I was in my 30s, I felt like some colleagues had a bit more luck even for what they wanted to do: joining the right company, getting to work on the right projects. Maybe they slid into them or maybe they struggled to get the best projects. The fact is that I don't know. I never asked but it doesn't matter because I think that very few things from people are insightful enough anyway.

Let's say we're successful slackers inst

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#75

Post by Cthulhu_ »

xvector wrote: post #39
cik wrote: post #28

There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…

> Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. I am 26 and this is has been the hardest thing for me to come to terms with over the past few years. I thought I'd be happier with a high paying job. So I got a job that pays at the 99.9th percentile for my age. Didn't really make me happier. Then I thought my unhappiness was because of my weight. So I lost 90lbs. Hardest thing I've ever done. But it didn't make me happ…

I mean... it didn't make you happier, but it's better to be unhappy and rich than unhappy and poor, or obese, or physically weak. Single / in a relationship can be hit and miss though; it could work, but it might make things worse. Don't settle for anyone / anything.

That said, having a relationship helped me out of my funk, which was not dissimilar to yours. I - and my girlfriend - are now more content with mediocrity.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#76

Post by Cthulhu_ »

Tade0 wrote: post #69

I dropped such worries when I was 25 and started working for a startup, the founders of which were roughly my age for the most part(only the CEO was 34, which happens to be approximately my age at the moment). Eventually they built a successful company employing hundreds of people. Since then I started measuring my success by comparing to my past self - I think it's healthier that way. I've also found that it's a lot…

I've done that; after the first year, I had to go from 36 to 40 hours because cost of living was increasing while wages stagnated (due to covid). This year I've decided to move on, because the company itself is stagnant and yes, cost of living is increasing.

That said, with the latter point, me and my girlfriend have long-term goals of moving someplace bigger and more out of the way, which is a nice goal to have. Staying at my current employer would have been stable, but ultimately stagnant and ungratifying.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#77

Post by apples_oranges »

cik wrote: post #28

There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…

I also like that approach, but I get sidetracked. For example I have to wait for a CI build to finish, or for the compiler.. then I come here.. and write comments..

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#78

Post by imtringued »

globular-toast wrote: post #61

I don't have this problem. I feel like I've achieved loads. I just don't see the point of any of it and it doesn't make me happy. I've spent my life working hard and now I can look forward to my body and mind deteriorating in a world with not a soul who cares about me.

It could be worse, for example, you could be thinking those very same thoughts at an even younger age, before you even accomplished the things you set out to do.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#79

Post by Cthulhu_ »

moonchrome wrote: post #4

So either the author has a midlife crisis or they genuinely hate where they are in life. TBH, since they have no family/commitment and sound like they dislike where they got in life - I'd say discard the image of yourself and start doing radical things moving forward, sounds like a no lose situation to me, worst case scenario you die doing something risky - but that always sounded better to me than surviving in a hol…

The author seems to on the one hand have a lot of ambitions, but on the other a case of ADHD (or modern-day tech-caused attention deficit) where they end up hyperfocused down a rabbit hole on a regular basis. I have no answers for that, because even medication probably won't make people focus on their mid- to long-term goals. That said, being a New Yorker writer, theater troupe, and all the other things they mentioned, they're probably fairly successful in their life beyond the lofty goals they've set themselves. Which may not be their true calling actually, but more of a "this is what people I look up to have done".

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#80

Post by goodpoint »

xvector wrote: post #39
cik wrote: post #28

There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…

> Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. I am 26 and this is has been the hardest thing for me to come to terms with over the past few years. I thought I'd be happier with a high paying job. So I got a job that pays at the 99.9th percentile for my age. Didn't really make me happier. Then I thought my unhappiness was because of my weight. So I lost 90lbs. Hardest thing I've ever done. But it didn't make me happ…

[I am not a psychologist] but it seems you described the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill
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