How to get the most out of your 1:1s • Hacker News Board

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#71

Post by jmyeet » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 10:43 AM UTC

Obligatory Roger Sterling quote [1]:

> I don't know if anyone's ever told you that half the time this business comes down to 'I don't like that guy.'

What articles like these fail to realize or fail to point to is that a lot of your work outcomes come down to whether your manager likes you, their manager likes you and your coworkers like you. This isn't universal of course. There are some people who are disliked but clearly brilliant enough for it to matter. These people are the exception not th enorm.

At Google, there was a meme in performance review that goes something like:

> This project would've failed without this person. It failed anyway but it definitely would've without them.

You can take the same set of circumstances and interpret them differently based on who you like and who you don't. Project fails? Someone you like did what they could for the team. Someone you don't didn't contribute enough. Project succeeds? Person you like was a key reason why. Person you don't wasn't.

So when it comes to 1:1s, if your manager likes you you're more likely to be someone they advocate for, extol the virtues of your accomplishments and so on. If your manager is liked the more likely their opinions are to carry weight.

So how to get the most value of your 1:1s? Figure out if your manager likes you and figure out if their managers likes them.

[1]: https://twitter.com/madmenqts/status/783648743690231808?lang...

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#72

Post by hurflmurfl » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 10:47 AM UTC

spadros wrote: post #64

Yeah, I’ve been finding my one on ones useless recently, and this article seems to have some more useless “wisdom” here summed up in a nice package. Kind of annoying to me that the writer implies the one on one is for me to fill his valuable time. I’m loving my work, don’t have any issues with my coworkers, and like my current position. I really don’t have critical feedback to bring to the table every one on one. To…

When I don't have anything work-related to report, there are no concerns on either side, and there are no situational changes, we just chat with my manager for the whole half-hour about various life topics.

Sometimes it may bring to memory something related to work, which we can discuss. Sometimes it will be completely unrelated to work for the whole meeting, but I think there is still value in that. It helps us build a better relationship and reveals more about who we are and how we think and helps just generally "tune" ourselves to each other.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#73

Post by enigmatic02 » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 10:50 AM UTC

Found this useful 1:1 template a while back: https://giddy-amusement-c74.notion.site/Manage-your-manager-...

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#74

Post by andresp » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 11:19 AM UTC

Yet another manager not knowing what being a manager is. It is your responsibility to know what your reports are doing and making sure their efforts are recognised and their flaws corrected (or ultimately fired). If you don't remember unless someone keeps sending you self promotional messages, you are the problem, not your reports.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#75

Post by [deleted] » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 11:34 AM UTC

gorgoiler wrote: post #14

Completely unimportant, but anyone else call them one to ones ? Where did this one on one thing come from? A one on one is a boxing match or a schoolyard fight, not an open chat. 8:2:1 is a ratio of cocktail ingredients. 16:9 is an aspect ratio. 1:7 is a steep hill to climb. To , by , and in respectively. The latter two would be weird choices but at least they’d be consistent with the syntax of x:y. “on” though?! Whe…

[deleted]

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#76

Post by XorNot » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 11:37 AM UTC

hurflmurfl wrote: post #72

spadros wrote: post #64

Yeah, I’ve been finding my one on ones useless recently, and this article seems to have some more useless “wisdom” here summed up in a nice package. Kind of annoying to me that the writer implies the one on one is for me to fill his valuable time. I’m loving my work, don’t have any issues with my coworkers, and like my current position. I really don’t have critical feedback to bring to the table every one on one. To…

When I don't have anything work-related to report, there are no concerns on either side, and there are no situational changes, we just chat with my manager for the whole half-hour about various life topics. Sometimes it may bring to memory something related to work, which we can discuss. Sometimes it will be completely unrelated to work for the whole meeting, but I think there is still value in that. It helps us buil…

I hate when this happens. It's been a recent revelation of mine that I'm happiest when my personal business remains personal. I hate having to scrape through my life sanitizing topics into conversational safe spaces just to get paid.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#77

Post by xxs » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 11:39 AM UTC

sdevonoes wrote: post #53

My situation is as follows. I joined my current company 1 year ago; my team is composed of 5 people (data scientists, engineers, 1 product manager) and it is within an area (there are like 10 areas, and each area has around 2 to 3 teams). Alongside my team, there is another team in my area. There is only one engineer manager for the whole area (so, like 8 engineers to "manage"). I have 1:1s every 2 weeks with my engi…

>I have 1:1s every 2 weeks with my engineer manager... and that's basically 99% of the contact I have with them.

that's terrible

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#78

Post by johnjungles » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 11:42 AM UTC

sdevonoes wrote: post #53

My situation is as follows. I joined my current company 1 year ago; my team is composed of 5 people (data scientists, engineers, 1 product manager) and it is within an area (there are like 10 areas, and each area has around 2 to 3 teams). Alongside my team, there is another team in my area. There is only one engineer manager for the whole area (so, like 8 engineers to "manage"). I have 1:1s every 2 weeks with my engi…

Sounds like your engineering manager isn’t doing a good job. I’ve actually learned how to be a better manager by learning what not to do from other crummy managers I’ve had or others had. Hope it doesn’t turn you off from management track or look at all managers like they don’t pull their weight

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#79

Post by ramraj07 » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 11:46 AM UTC

spadros wrote: post #64

Yeah, I’ve been finding my one on ones useless recently, and this article seems to have some more useless “wisdom” here summed up in a nice package. Kind of annoying to me that the writer implies the one on one is for me to fill his valuable time. I’m loving my work, don’t have any issues with my coworkers, and like my current position. I really don’t have critical feedback to bring to the table every one on one. To…

Generally agreed, but I’d say it’s easy to forget long standing issues because you mentioned it once and no one followed up. It’s a good idea to keep 1-1 meeting notes to follow up on things and keep a record. And honestly if people have nothing much to discuss or are not interested in chitchat you should just wrap the check in early and let everyone get back to work or life.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#80

Post by jnorthrop » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 11:52 AM UTC

sdevonoes wrote: post #53

My situation is as follows. I joined my current company 1 year ago; my team is composed of 5 people (data scientists, engineers, 1 product manager) and it is within an area (there are like 10 areas, and each area has around 2 to 3 teams). Alongside my team, there is another team in my area. There is only one engineer manager for the whole area (so, like 8 engineers to "manage"). I have 1:1s every 2 weeks with my engi…

Sounds like you need to change the intent of your 1:1s. I am senior at a big company (managing teams of teams) and my manager is a senior executive. I meet with him every other week and that is most of the contact I have with him. That works, as he trusts me to execute on his strategic objectives, and I like it like that. Our 1:1s are very purposeful. I inform him on things I think he should know, ask him for support where I need him, and remind him of my career aspirations to get opportunities that move me in that direction. That's it. It ends up as a nice conversation and gets us both what we need. It sounds like you could move your meetings in that general direction.