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Pictures reveal the isolated lives of Japan’s social recluses (2018)

nationalgeographic.com

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Re: Pictures reveal the isolated lives of Japan’s social recluses (2018)

#71

I’m glad the article mostly restrains itself from the “wacky Japan” angle, and states pretty flat out that a “rental sister” is pretty analogous to the role of a social worker. It’s weird that people marvel over “host” and “hostess” clubs in Japan, when I know of many restaurants in the US and Canada, where the main draw is that a pretty girl/guy will be nice to you for your time there. Is it the exact same thing? No…

Hooters.

"Hooters lists their waitresses as models. By those means, they are permitted to hire and fire based on looks and gender."

Re: Pictures reveal the isolated lives of Japan’s social recluses (2018)

#72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The article's description of cultural pressures on young men seems crushing. One must work obscene hours, never lose face, represent the family at all times, and support a family on one salary.

Most men are happiest when they are working hard and supporting their family. I'm not sure why this is seen as crushing pressure.

{{citation needed}}

Re: Pictures reveal the isolated lives of Japan’s social recluses (2018)

#73
post #42
post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is right here probably a major explanation for the whole phenomena. I have seen this exact attitude with individuals who are in their 30s and living with their parents. Something in their upbringing gave them this immense sense of worth but the world isn't rewarding them for the little work they do as much as they think it's worth. This is extremely presumptive and dismissive. Also living with your parents isn't…

I am not referring to everyone who lives at home with parents, nor am I saying that living at home with parents is a bad thing or an indicator of social recluse. What I said is I've seen this "exact attitude with individuals" (as in some individuals, not all.) For example, my daughter's kindergarten teacher lives with his parents, and I have absolutely no issue with it. However, I do know someone who is well into the…

This has been my same experience for what it's worth. Folks whose parents told them they hung the moon who won't accept a living wage for a hard day's work. Not bad people at all for the most part. But they think their entry-level skills should earn $35+/hour.

Worse yet, I work with a handful of guys who are making $22-28/hour to do a $20/hour job and they can't stop complaining about how boring and repetitive it is. For most of them, they went to trade school and have no idea how good they have it at this company.

If I'm not getting paid what I'm worth, I move on. If I can't find someone to pay me what I think I'm worth, I reevaluate my skillset. If no one is willing to pay you what you think you're worth, you're probably not worth that. And if a job is paying you more than the going rate for your skill, you shut up and do a damn good job.

And, finally, maybe it's how I was raised, but whatever I'm doing - whether it's beneath me or doesn't pay shit - I do a damn good job, because if I'm going to do something, I do it right.

Re: Pictures reveal the isolated lives of Japan’s social recluses (2018)

#74
post #21

The basic needs of a man until his late 30s are quite straightforward. If there is no chance for sex, and professional endeavours deliver more stress than anything else, then why bother with the rest? Saying this from completely different perspective - of a native citizen of less developed EU country, the pandemic measures and shutdowns almost haven't changed my lifestyle.

If those are the only things that makes someone happy (it's not necessarily; all people are different, but let's say those are the basic needs at work here), and they aren't getting either of those things, then they can either give up become shut-ins and stay on that trajectory, or they can do everything they can to figure out how become the kind of person they want to be, or at least become a happier or wiser person…

> Once somebody gives up, from that point on they are no longer victims but the cause of their own problems.

If one person gives up, it is his person. If millions of people give up, it is society's problem.

Re: Pictures reveal the isolated lives of Japan’s social recluses (2018)

#75
post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're threatening violence. And what then. Do you intend to take love by force, Laurent92? Blaming old farts. Well, I'm younger than you, but you still will not hear, from anyone, that what you're asking is far beyond "illegitimate", will you? What is someone to do after hearing you?

> what you're asking is far beyond "illegitimate" Wanting to be acknowledged is illegitimate? Because that's really all I read from that. Being acknowledged not even for one's self, but at least for what one does or has done.

The comment of laurent92 doesn't read as if he needs acknowledgement.

It reads like he thinks he's done enough "good" or has enough "accomplishments" in his head that he is definitely owed affection from women now, because clearly he's good enough as he is now. While also "refusing to budge" on the amount of what he's owed.

And I also read an anger at the inability to receive what he's owed, and some violence angle on top of that.

(Sorry, at this point this turned into a reply to Laurent92 themselves.)

That's not how it works, however, - you don't take what you're owed in a personal relationship (if you want it to be good and long lasting, anyway), and you don't treat the other person like they have to give you what you're owed. You're not against your partner.

However bad you think men have it today, women have it worse, and had for a long time. It's really only fair for the pendulum to swing another direction till everything settles in a good fair balance.

And that balance will look like people from different social groups working together, understanding each other, instead of taking what they're owed from each other.

What you need to do is look at your partner as you look at yourself because they are a person, too, not a device that gives you your reward.

Re: Pictures reveal the isolated lives of Japan’s social recluses (2018)

#77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> what you're asking is far beyond "illegitimate" Wanting to be acknowledged is illegitimate? Because that's really all I read from that. Being acknowledged not even for one's self, but at least for what one does or has done.

The comment of laurent92 doesn't read as if he needs acknowledgement. It reads like he thinks he's done enough "good" or has enough "accomplishments" in his head that he is definitely owed affection from women now, because clearly he's good enough as he is now. While also "refusing to budge" on the amount of what he's owed. And I also read an anger at the inability to receive what he's owed, and some violence angle o…

He mentions his father that praises his sister's climb of Mt. Everest (whether figuratively or not), but does not acknowledge his achievements, even when they far surpass his peers'. I don't think that's unreasonable at all.

I totally agree with you that he's not owed anything from anyone, but I assume that we'd split about whether he owes anyone anything (e.g. taxes).

> However bad you think men have it today, women have it worse

In Saudi-Arabia? 100% agree. In France, Denmark, Germany or Sweden? No.

I think you're focusing far too much on the partner-angle. That's likely a part of it, but it sounds like an (especially painful) rejection in a long line of rejections.

I've witnessed that in multiple young men where they do achieve extraordinary things, but aren't part of the world elite in whatever they do, and they don't get the recognition they feel they deserve (usually rightfully so, imho). At the same time, a woman does something of much lesser difficulty and drowns in praise and opportunity (look up Aja Jaff for an example in Germany). Most of the men experiencing that get bitter and eventually become destructive.

It's easy to fix, but the whole "women have it worse, everywhere, always" shtick does get in the way. It doesn't hold up to reality either.

Re: Pictures reveal the isolated lives of Japan’s social recluses (2018)

#78
post #9

Brief photo theory interlude: beware of rhetoric about photographs "revealing" or "exploring" things. These photographs are telling a story , and have all the subjectivities and editing that we take for granted in written works. They are not empirical evidence, they are works made to represent and persuade. When you see something framed this way, proceed skeptically!

“Let’s face it. What do you know from a photograph? They don’t have narrative ability. You talk about a cow jumping, you don’t know if it’s going up or down from the picture.” - Garry Winogrand

Not implying that I agree, but through a very reductionist lens from one of the medium's greats, photographs are nothing more than light on a flat medium. Whatever meaning we imbue is an interpretation.

Re: Pictures reveal the isolated lives of Japan’s social recluses (2018)

#79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you get it to successfully work on this page? Zapping elements gets rid of the pop-up, but also makes scrolling impossible.

nationalgeographic.com##html:style(height:100%!important;overflow:scroll!important;position: static !important) nationalgeographic.com##body:style(height:100%!important;overflow:scroll!important;position: static !important)

I added this to my custom filter list, and it did not get rid of the sign-up pop-up.

Re: Pictures reveal the isolated lives of Japan’s social recluses (2018)

#80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you get it to successfully work on this page? Zapping elements gets rid of the pop-up, but also makes scrolling impossible.

Yes I was able to get it to successfully work, you just have to keep zapping elements until the page displays properly. This also works on instagram if you're viewing without an account, though they seem to shadowban ip's now as I can't view accounts until after a few days.

Could you please paste your custom filter rules for it?

I tried the keep-zapping approach, and eventually got rid of the pop-ups, but then was unable to actually scroll through the page and read the article.

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