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Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

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Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#71

Post by worik »

mattlondon wrote: post #15

Anecdotal but my office is ultra -woke. There are endless internal emails about whatever-week, or veterans-this, or LBGTQ+-that etc etc. People have been hounded out and either quit or been fired for fairly minor "infractions" of the groupthink (...and also some people have rightly been fired for actual inappropriate behaviour). And guess what all this talk about "toxic masculinity" and generally vilifying all men le…

Not good.

Some of us have felt like that for thirty years.

Once apon a time there were a group of people who swaggered through life saying whatever popped into their brains whom ever it offended or belittled. They engaged in metaphorical, but brutal, wrestling matches not just with each other but with any body who crossed their paths.

Now life is very hard for them.

Should have happened thirty years ago. Has it gone too far? Probably.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#72

Post by thereare5lights »

jimbob45 wrote: post #33
mattlondon wrote: post #15

Anecdotal but my office is ultra -woke. There are endless internal emails about whatever-week, or veterans-this, or LBGTQ+-that etc etc. People have been hounded out and either quit or been fired for fairly minor "infractions" of the groupthink (...and also some people have rightly been fired for actual inappropriate behaviour). And guess what all this talk about "toxic masculinity" and generally vilifying all men le…

The only solution to cancel culture is to cancel those out of your life who would cancel you. I would be doing the same thing if I was in your shoes. On the bright side, this is hopefully a healthy opportunity for us all to find some friends outside of work.

I'm usually against cancel culture. Except against those that partake in it. I'll admit I feel a lot of schadenfreude when those people get canceled themselves and they're held to their own standards.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#73

Post by Darmody »

steve_g wrote: post #34
throwaway_-_-_- wrote: post #18

Creating a throwaway for obvious reasons. I'm not an investor but someone who is in a position to make key decisions about peoples' careers and give advice, and I do have a bit of a trick I use for this. There was one black female mentee who I noticed was timid in taking credit for her work. I had recently attended a diversity panel where someone in a similar role as me said that in a similar situation, and her advic…

"Think about what a white man would do" seems completely ambiguous to me. It's not a clear way to communicate. It would be better to follow up "I see you're hesitating to take credit for your work" with specific examples of what she might be able to say. Or you could give examples of behavior that people she knows have exhibited. Even if "what a white man would do" wasn't emotionally charged (and it is), it's not a g…

I can't imagine how someone would think that is a good suggestion.

Are they implying white men are smarter/better so they always take the right decisions? If that's what they're doing, they're also implying, in this case, she, as a black woman, is not as smart as a white man.

I'm a white man surrounded by mostly white people working on a field with mostly white men and I can't say what a white man would do in certain situations because we're all different and we all think differently.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#74

Post by Ma8ee »

lupire wrote: post #25
throwaway_-_-_- wrote: post #18

Creating a throwaway for obvious reasons. I'm not an investor but someone who is in a position to make key decisions about peoples' careers and give advice, and I do have a bit of a trick I use for this. There was one black female mentee who I noticed was timid in taking credit for her work. I had recently attended a diversity panel where someone in a similar role as me said that in a similar situation, and her advic…

I think you learned the wrong trick. The "trick" is to not have a trick. Use mature, respectful language and not echo the divisive political language wielded by activists.

I think he tried to use mature, respectful language. But he apparently anyway put his foot in his mouth.

Of course everyone should do their best in being sensitive in their ways of expressing themselves. But many people could definitely show a little bit more generosity in their interpretations and not jump on every chance to interpret something like racism or sexism.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#75

Post by 2OEH8eoCRo0 »

>I don’t think most female founders even realize that they’re getting different advice than their male counterparts. Silicon Valley has always run on candor, but it’s being stifled at the moment, and no one is noticing that we are the collateral damage.

Imagine what it's like being the intended target and not just "collateral damage". It's not a problem that men are nervous to be candid but it's a problem that women are feeling the secondary effects of that?

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#76

Post by na85 »

efficax wrote: post #56
mattlondon wrote: post #15

Anecdotal but my office is ultra -woke. There are endless internal emails about whatever-week, or veterans-this, or LBGTQ+-that etc etc. People have been hounded out and either quit or been fired for fairly minor "infractions" of the groupthink (...and also some people have rightly been fired for actual inappropriate behaviour). And guess what all this talk about "toxic masculinity" and generally vilifying all men le…

Funny I work in a similar workplace and don't find that "all men" are vilified, or that being conscientious about the impact my words and actions have on marginalized people has any negative impact on my behavior. Maybe it's a you problem

>Funny I work in a similar workplace and don't find that "all men" are vilified, or that being conscientious about the impact my words and actions have on marginalized people has any negative impact on my behavior. Maybe it's a you problem

This is a great example. The Elect tolerate nothing less than full throated support of the cause/outrage du jour, and anyone taking a moderate position is branded a problem, just as you've done here.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#77

Post by gpt3fake »

Why would you talk to women at all professionally, unless there are reliable witnesses or video recordings?

As we increasingly see, witch hunts are already possible by deliberately misinterpreting written statements like mails or bug tracker messages.

I would not want to get into a he-said-she-said real life situation. Mike Pence understood this early.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#78

Post by colechristensen »

efficax wrote: post #56
mattlondon wrote: post #15

Anecdotal but my office is ultra -woke. There are endless internal emails about whatever-week, or veterans-this, or LBGTQ+-that etc etc. People have been hounded out and either quit or been fired for fairly minor "infractions" of the groupthink (...and also some people have rightly been fired for actual inappropriate behaviour). And guess what all this talk about "toxic masculinity" and generally vilifying all men le…

Funny I work in a similar workplace and don't find that "all men" are vilified, or that being conscientious about the impact my words and actions have on marginalized people has any negative impact on my behavior. Maybe it's a you problem

Your experience in an environment doesn't match someone else's experience in an environment you think is similar, so they are wrong and you are right?

Isn't this a core of the whole "woke" thing? Just because you have a nice experience doesn't mean everybody does and you shouldn't silence somebody not having a good time because you don't understand or have the same experience.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#79

Post by throwaway20222 »

I also work in a very “woke culture.” In fact, as a straight, white, cis man I am in the extreme minority.

I have been told that I can’t do my job which includes negotiating with LGBTQ+ companies because I am an “old, white, cis guy and there is always an unfair power dynamic there” just because of my identity. It is discrimination plain and simple, but I literally stand to have my career derailed if I fight back. One accusation and I don’t get hired again.

I joined the company because I believed, and still believe in company mission which is LGBTQ+ focused.

There is no room for allies at some companies and they silence opinions they don’t like. It hurts everyone.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#80

Post by zepto »

worik wrote: post #71
mattlondon wrote: post #15

Anecdotal but my office is ultra -woke. There are endless internal emails about whatever-week, or veterans-this, or LBGTQ+-that etc etc. People have been hounded out and either quit or been fired for fairly minor "infractions" of the groupthink (...and also some people have rightly been fired for actual inappropriate behaviour). And guess what all this talk about "toxic masculinity" and generally vilifying all men le…

Not good. Some of us have felt like that for thirty years. Once apon a time there were a group of people who swaggered through life saying whatever popped into their brains whom ever it offended or belittled. They engaged in metaphorical, but brutal, wrestling matches not just with each other but with any body who crossed their paths. Now life is very hard for them. Should have happened thirty years ago. Has it gone…

Ok - but are you sure the people who are feeling like this now have anything to do with what was happening thirty years ago?
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