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The unusual ways Western parents raise children

bbc.com

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Re: The unusual ways Western parents raise children

#71

Post by steve_adams_86 »

tibbydudeza wrote: post #65
tw04 wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or, they like having sex? I'm not having sex with my kid sleeping in the same room. And I'm not particularly interested in having to manage my sex life around my kids sleep schedule. I don't know why you think adults wanting a space they can do whatever they want without their kids witnessing the activity means they have a "weird focus on individualism".

Drop the kids of at school/daycare/grandparents - come back home :).

That’s not an option for many (most?) people

Re: The unusual ways Western parents raise children

#72

Post by tw04 »

tibbydudeza wrote: post #65
tw04 wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or, they like having sex? I'm not having sex with my kid sleeping in the same room. And I'm not particularly interested in having to manage my sex life around my kids sleep schedule. I don't know why you think adults wanting a space they can do whatever they want without their kids witnessing the activity means they have a "weird focus on individualism".

Drop the kids of at school/daycare/grandparents - come back home :).

>Drop the kids of at school/daycare

So, while we're both working?

>grandparents

One is on the other side of the country, the other is 2 hours away. So... sex three days a year?

Re: The unusual ways Western parents raise children

#73

Post by TomK32 »

LegitShady wrote: post #54
TomK32 wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

30 percent of British children are living in poverty. https://cpag.org.uk/child-poverty/child-poverty-facts-and-fi...

I don't think poverty in britain or india mean the same thing.

Of course, poverty in Britain is something the Tories actually do want, whereas in India I'm sure every major party is fighting against poverty.

Re: The unusual ways Western parents raise children

#74

Post by matz1 »

TomK32 wrote: post #59
matz1 wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is not abuse, if it used for the kids own good. Yes it is not always effective but in some case it is.

It is abuse. As a parent you are in a stronger position and your child will will trust you because you are their first and primary focus of this new world their are growing into. Violence against children (and most of it happens in families) will destroy this trust.

That depends on how you hit your kids. It could be abuse but not always.

Re: The unusual ways Western parents raise children

#75

Post by dfxm12 »

wayneftw wrote: post #51

I'm amazed that corporal punishment in schools is still legal throughout much of the US [0]. Perhaps it's mostly not used. I'm not sure because I went to school in New Jersey where it's outlawed even in private schools. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_corporal_punishment_in_...

I thought this was going to be a case where it's not explicitly spelled out in the constitution, so it's not expressly illegal unless a state makes it so. But no, corporal punishment has been codified to be expressly legal in some states!

Can you imagine fighting for the right to legally beat a child? Not even your own child, but someone else's?

Re: The unusual ways Western parents raise children

#76

Post by aequitas »

ed25519FUUU wrote: post #45
jokethrowaway wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What your doctor / nationalised health care system is recommending sounds like a good approach

Honestly doctors can spread a lot of disinformation on things not biologically related. For example, our pediatrician recommended we wait until 3 to potty train our son... who at the time was already potty trained. Potty training is also something that differs widely between developed nations and rest of world.

I think that has to do with the fact that not all children are able to learn/sense it at a young age. Telling parents their kids should be potty trained before the age of 3 could have the parent put pressure on the kid resulting in worse behaviour or aversion to using the toilet, lengthening the process even further. It's just easier to advice to "start at 3". Especially since nowadays more parents both work fulltime and will have less time to properly observe and guide the process at earlier age.

Re: The unusual ways Western parents raise children

#77

Post by itsmemattchung »

steve_adams_86 wrote: post #56
nomdep wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So - if you don't mind the question, sorry for asking if you do - how/when you have sex?

Not the person you asked but I’ve co-slept three times and have some insights. My answer would be that you do it while the baby sleeps, and you do it less. Otherwise on the odd occasion you’re away from the baby. It’s a drag. Though in my experience I was always so tired, it was generally a lower priority. Others might have had a different experience though.

> Though in my experience I was always so tired, it was generally a lower priority.

This. As new parents, we really have to make it a priority otherwise, in general, we're just constantly exhausted. Raising kids does really require a village.

Re: The unusual ways Western parents raise children

#78

Post by matz1 »

SamoyedFurFluff wrote: post #37
matz1 wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is not abuse, if it used for the kids own good. Yes it is not always effective but in some case it is.

From what I understand physical violence towards children has been universally panned on research. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking

In some case it can be appropriate

https://time.com/3387226/spanking-can-be-an-appropriate-form...

Re: The unusual ways Western parents raise children

#79

Post by jbob2000 »

kkwteh wrote: post #47

From the perspective of the Lindy principle it is weird. I have an eighteen-month old child and have been reading a lot about child rearing since my wife got pregnant. It’s taboo to say this, and I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but I suspect that a lack of adult attention in the first three years of life is a principal factor in the rising autism rates we’re seeing in modern economies. This would explain why autism…

Checkout this article, "Childhood autism spikes in geek heartlands": https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20589-childhood-autis...

There's a correlation between parents who are both "systemizers" and their child having autism.

I've also heard the theory that Austism is basically what we've been genetically selecting for over the last 100 years or so - the world wants brainless consumers - what is better than someone with sensory disorders, who can be primed to get up and buy with a simple prick?

Re: The unusual ways Western parents raise children

#80

Post by itsmemattchung »

steve_adams_86 wrote: post #49
itsmemattchung wrote: post #17

Definitely something that my wife and I struggle with. She's Vietnamese British, I'm Vietnamese American ; both of us current living in the U.S. Despite what our training classes recommend, we're co-sleeping with our 17 month year old daughter and it feels more intuitive.

Here in Canada it’s sometimes discouraged and criticized to co-sleep, too. I was born here and had never even heard of co-sleeping until I was in my mid twenties. I found it pretty intuitive too, but got some flack from people over it. After 3 kids I don’t really care about the criticisms anymore. They stop co-sleeping when they’re ready, and it was as simple as that. I mostly enjoyed it. Sometimes you miss having a…

> After 3 kids I don’t really care about the criticisms anymore

Even after having one kid, I too no longer care about the criticisms. We're all just trying to survive.

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