Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Be More Unlikeable

gritlist.co

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

71–75 of 75 posts

Re: Be More Unlikeable

#71

Post by uberman »

waheoo wrote: post #69
uberman wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can accept that. I edited my post to indicate that it is my opinion. That said, I think (again my opinion) that there is plenty of evidence to suggest that the behaviors that are deemed to be bold, authoritative, disruptive and direct even bordering on hostile when displayed by men in the workplace are tolerated or even rewarded while such behavior displayed by women are not. "He" will be the tolerated jerk, the lo…

> deemed to be bold, authoritative, disruptive and direct even bordering on hostile Im not sure where any of that results in you being a jerk. In your own words, its also just your perspective or "deemed" by you. You know the lone wolf is just a moniker for office expeletive who no one wants to work with right? Whether that behaviour is tolerated and condoned seems to have little to do with gender and more to do with…

I chose the terms specifically because those terms are most often used to shield and apologize for the office jerk.

I'm well aware that the lone wolf moniker is romanticized and applied to to such a person (if he is a man). As I said, there is a different dog based and clearly negative moniker that is applied to the exact same person should they be a woman.

I want to be clear this has NOTHING to do with introverts. I'm not sure where I gave you that impression but if I did I apologize.

Re: Be More Unlikeable

#72

Post by waheoo »

Lammy wrote: post #38
Minor49er wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is going to be a tough claim to prove

This is an area where the concepts of 'proof' and 'truth' don't really apply since any two people observe fundamentally different realities. It's not about bashing each other over the head until one of us agrees the other was correct about the One True Reality all along, but about sharing our observed worlds with each other so we can build societal systems that serve everyone.

Well I think if youre going to single out a group of people and call them names you should probably have some form of proof.

This whole thread is just trying to label expression of masculinity as a being a jerk.

Maybe ya'll need to stop the white man whitch hunt until youre ready to prove something other than the fact I wont float.

Re: Be More Unlikeable

#73

Post by KaiserPro »

hrktb wrote: post #5

Money quote: > Personally, I've long idolized Steve Jobs and Elon Musk. But most of our heroes got to where they are by being unlikeable, not likable. I fundamentally disagree with that view of being an asshole as an important part of success, but I also feel it has been rehashed an incredible amount of times already. A slightly different take on this is the "don't rock the boat" mentality. This is usually a counter…

The crucial part of this is that they are only able to be arseholes because they are successful.

Musk can be a prick because he's sitting on billions. Bezos can exist perfectly well after having his empathy surgically removed, because he has wealth to feed all starving people in the world and still be have 100 billion change.

Nobody does a favour to someone who is a dick, unless they have to.

I was/am a sysadmin. I am successful precisely because I'm not a dick to people. I am helpful which means I got promoted, and a reputation for being useful. When people moved to better companies, they would recommend me.

This not because I was a better engineer, its because I was useful.

Be kind, its good for you, and those around you.

Re: Be More Unlikeable

#74

Post by pydry »

h_r wrote: post #66
pydry wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wish some of this energy could be channeled into creating forum software that explicitly recognized and accounted for logical fallacies. It would help clean up a lot of shit (same as comment voting). It's not a panacea (just as voting isn't) but it would help to be able to flag/confirm/reject logical fallacies in textual online arguments.

Seems like that would require an understanding of language that far exceeds the current state of the art. And much of the time logic doesn't even apply because the text is incoherent.

You don't need that. You can use humans to flag and verify logical fallacies. The computer can just be tasked with labeling.

Re: Be More Unlikeable

#75

Post by rswskg »

KaiserPro wrote: post #73
hrktb wrote: post #5

Money quote: > Personally, I've long idolized Steve Jobs and Elon Musk. But most of our heroes got to where they are by being unlikeable, not likable. I fundamentally disagree with that view of being an asshole as an important part of success, but I also feel it has been rehashed an incredible amount of times already. A slightly different take on this is the "don't rock the boat" mentality. This is usually a counter…

The crucial part of this is that they are only able to be arseholes because they are successful. Musk can be a prick because he's sitting on billions. Bezos can exist perfectly well after having his empathy surgically removed, because he has wealth to feed all starving people in the world and still be have 100 billion change. Nobody does a favour to someone who is a dick, unless they have to. I was/am a sysadmin. I a…

I think you should examine how you were useful and at what expense. It might be interesting.
Post reply on HN