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It's later than you think

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Re: It's later than you think

#71

Post by scarejunba »

CalRobert wrote: post #25

Remember that performative workaholism is poison to life. Every time you put in more hours over the weekend "just because", dial in to a meeting on your vacation, or get on Slack at 10 PM "just to check a few things" - you're shifting the culture to make it that much more acceptable to demand it of everyone. The parents in your meetings that run until 7:30 bitterly hate you. It might seem OK when you're single, child…

Well, you shouldn't impose it on other people by inviting them to meetings outside their designated working hours.

But there's nothing wrong with solo work that involves working late.

Re: It's later than you think

#72

Post by pault »

SketchySeaBeast wrote: post #46
edmundsauto wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This also applies to new technologies and skill gaps. I'm over 30, and have stopped following the latest javascript trends. I want younger people to be satisfied with the tools that I learned; they're perfectly adequate. The treadmill of re-inventing the technology wheel also looks like a prison.

The struggle with that is how do you step off the treadmill but stay relatively current. I think about how web pages looked 10 years ago, and in a world of React, I feel like very, very few of the things I learned then help me for more than the very, very basics.

This isn't so much about React as that the expectations for web applications have skyrocketed in the last five years. Before 2012 or so you could call yourself a front end developer with good knowledge of html and CSS and little bit of javascript. If you were working in the industry back then and you're one of those people, you've had to teach yourself to be a proper software engineer in that relatively small amount of time. It's possible that the complexity growth curve has rounded off and over the next five years things will settle down and mature (fingers crossed).

Re: It's later than you think

#73

Post by southerndrift »

>Wiley was obsessed with starting a business. One day it was a smoothie stand, the next it would be a gallery, then a VR headset company, then a ‘coder’, then a spaceship building company.

To me, this sounds like the father shouldn't be worried too much. Wiley loved the way his father was to the point of wanting to emulate him.

>Damn, could that kid dance.

The kid gave it all, like his father. Without such a role model, would he have been the same kid? Would he have had such a precious life?

Re: It's later than you think

#74

Post by ChuckMcM »

Such a heart breaking story. For me it was taking a walk around the office and seeing a private plane take off from San Carlos airport, here its engine sputter, and then watching as it fell from the sky into the "lagoon" next to a hotel. Life ends. Really slammed home how a 'normal' day could suddenly be a really bad day, or your last day.

One of the unfortunate challenges of tech work is that as someone young and single you can spend all your time at work with your colleagues building really cool stuff and get the social fix and the financial rewards of lots of hard work. And if you get married and have kids, and suddenly the demands of the family keeps you from putting in the same amount of time at work, well you find yourself either explaining to your boss why you aren't getting as much done, or explaining to your spouse why you don't seem them as much as they would like. Can be tricky to navigate to a new normal.

Re: It's later than you think

#75

Post by [deleted] »

klik99 wrote: post #43

I'm in tears reading this and his wife's account ( https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/all-remains-dr-jessica-brande... ) - I didn't realize how short life was until I realized I only had 52 weeks with each of my one-year-old sons, and stories like this are a reminder about what's really important. A friend said it well when I was feeling guilty I wasn't putting more time into my work, "No one has ever looked back on thei…

[deleted]

Re: It's later than you think

#76

Post by SketchySeaBeast »

pault wrote: post #72
SketchySeaBeast wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The struggle with that is how do you step off the treadmill but stay relatively current. I think about how web pages looked 10 years ago, and in a world of React, I feel like very, very few of the things I learned then help me for more than the very, very basics.

This isn't so much about React as that the expectations for web applications have skyrocketed in the last five years. Before 2012 or so you could call yourself a front end developer with good knowledge of html and CSS and little bit of javascript. If you were working in the industry back then and you're one of those people, you've had to teach yourself to be a proper software engineer in that relatively small amount…

> It's possible that the complexity growth curve has rounded off and over the next five years things will settle down and mature (fingers crossed).

I really hope so.

Re: It's later than you think

#77

Post by calebm »

dgzl wrote: post #69
klik99 wrote: post #43

I'm in tears reading this and his wife's account ( https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/all-remains-dr-jessica-brande... ) - I didn't realize how short life was until I realized I only had 52 weeks with each of my one-year-old sons, and stories like this are a reminder about what's really important. A friend said it well when I was feeling guilty I wasn't putting more time into my work, "No one has ever looked back on thei…

> "No one has ever looked back on their life and said 'I wish I spent less time with my family'". Not everyone has a family worth being with.

Family is who you love.

Re: It's later than you think

#78

Post by overkalix »

dgzl wrote: post #69
klik99 wrote: post #43

I'm in tears reading this and his wife's account ( https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/all-remains-dr-jessica-brande... ) - I didn't realize how short life was until I realized I only had 52 weeks with each of my one-year-old sons, and stories like this are a reminder about what's really important. A friend said it well when I was feeling guilty I wasn't putting more time into my work, "No one has ever looked back on thei…

> "No one has ever looked back on their life and said 'I wish I spent less time with my family'". Not everyone has a family worth being with.

At some point your family is not so much the people you were born to or grew up with, but the people you've chosen to be with, build a live together... Also, if I had to guess, no one has ever looked back on their life and said 'I wish I had spent more time being deliberately obtuse on the Internet' either.

Re: It's later than you think

#79

Post by [deleted] »

noja wrote: post #22
wastedhours wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Definitely, make sure there's just "time". Everyone I've spoken to who has a real quality relationship with their kids has reiterated quantity is better than "quality". Don't fall into the trap of thinking that making it to the odd piano recital is the same as being there every day for dinner. As the piece sadly reminds us, that calendar invite might be scheduled too late.

Yeah this "quality time" trope is often just a justification for not being there very often.

[deleted]

Re: It's later than you think

#80

Post by i_cant_speel »

mieseratte wrote: post #44
asveikau wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I would argue [...] are the cause There is a problem in thinking any one thing is "the cause". It's a multi-faceted problem of many self-reinforcing causes. The comment above talking about " shifting the culture to make it that much more acceptable " is a nod to the subtlety of what contributes to this. All parties, employers and employees both, need to see how they do this.

> The comment above talking about "shifting the culture to make it that much more acceptable" is a nod to the subtlety of what contributes to this. I see no "nod to subtlety" as you claim. All I see is a claim that one employee's overwork is what enables the boss to force you into overwork. For this to happen one needs 1) routine culture of overwork, 2) and employer who leans into this fact, and 3) an inability or un…

Maybe you can "push back" and get out of additional work. But when it's that time of year for raises or promotions, who do you think is going to be the first in line?
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