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Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

nytimes.com

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Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#71

Post by fsfsdff56sdf »

steve_adams_86 wrote: post #58
fsfsdff56sdf wrote: post #33

"Most of us don’t miss the male gaze. It came with catcalls, harassment and unwanted attention. Instead, we feel free from the tyranny of worrying about our looks. For the first time since we were 10, we can feel relaxed about our appearance." I call bullshit. People spend Billions to become more attractive, and rarely anything to become less attractive. If these women would have suffered so much from the "male gaze"…

This logic appears to presume that women are responsible for changing themselves in order to avoid being mistreated, and that their desire to change their looks is at all intended to draw catcalls, harassment, and unwanted attention. I understand wearing makeup (for example) is an external thing meant for other people to see, but it's reckless and illogical to go down the path of assuming who the makeup is for and wh…

While I think you are wrong, HN prevented me from posting a reply yesterday. So I am leaving the discussion (not typing up new arguments).

Of course you are responsible for the signals you send out to the world.

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#72

Post by dominotw »

CoolGuySteve wrote: post #11
fizwhiz wrote: post #6

> We all suffer, but not all of us grow. Those of us who grow do so by developing our moral imaginations and expanding our carrying capacities for pain and bliss. In fact, this pendulum between joy and despair is what makes old age catalytic for spiritual and emotional growth. Never thought of it this way. An extremely humbling, optimistic and heart-warming read.

Reminds me of what Bob Ross said on his show after his wife died: > Gotta have opposites, light and dark and dark and light, in painting. It’s like in life. Gotta have a little sadness once in awhile so you know when the good times come. I'm waiting on the good times now. I'm not a Christian, but between Bob Ross and Fred Rogers, PBS really exhibited the best face of Christianity as a life philosophy.

Thats what drug addicts do when they cycle out of a drug for few months so they can enjoi it again.

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#73

Post by code_duck »

toasterlovin wrote: post #70
code_duck wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Based on countless examples in history, the same thing seems to be true for basically anything… Murder, rape, genocide, withstanding or inflicting abuse or torture are all much easier for people to bear mentally if they believe it is part of a greater goal.

There’s a pretty big difference between justifying something you want to do and making yourself feel better about something that you don’t want to do.

What are you saying the difference is?

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#74

Post by dominotw »

mirimir wrote: post #8
dominotw wrote: post #2

> happiness is a skill and a choice. but worrying about looks is not? > we feel free from the tyranny of worrying about our looks. For the first time since we were 10, we can feel relaxed about our appearance.

There's a similar dynamic for men. We can also "feel free from the tyranny of worrying about our looks". For one thing, I'm old enough that there's no point in trying to hide it. But I do get to hide much of my sagging face under a beard. And in my case, it's a totally untrimmed beard (but clean and well brushed). I can pass for old hippie or Duck Dynasty, with just a little tweaking of clothes and language style. An…

> But I do get to hide much of my sagging face under a beard.

Why do you do this? Have you experienced discrimination due to your looks?

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#75

Post by dominotw »

telesilla wrote: post #3
dominotw wrote: post #2

> happiness is a skill and a choice. but worrying about looks is not? > we feel free from the tyranny of worrying about our looks. For the first time since we were 10, we can feel relaxed about our appearance.

>but worrying about looks is not? Social pressure is so strong! I don't know if you are a woman or not but from my perspective (as a woman) I am truly grateful for each year I live, as I become less and less worried about my appearance in detail, and more about the expression on my face and my body language - how happy and welcoming I look when I greet people. This knowledge wasn't obvious as a young woman.

funny i read this on the chicago subway and there was an ad right in front of me that 65% of males "suffer" from hairloss and there is a "treatment" available in form of monthly delivery.

Being male is now a disease.

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#76

Post by toasterlovin »

code_duck wrote: post #73
toasterlovin wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There’s a pretty big difference between justifying something you want to do and making yourself feel better about something that you don’t want to do.

What are you saying the difference is?

It's the difference between good and evil.

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#77

Post by mirimir »

dominotw wrote: post #74
mirimir wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a similar dynamic for men. We can also "feel free from the tyranny of worrying about our looks". For one thing, I'm old enough that there's no point in trying to hide it. But I do get to hide much of my sagging face under a beard. And in my case, it's a totally untrimmed beard (but clean and well brushed). I can pass for old hippie or Duck Dynasty, with just a little tweaking of clothes and language style. An…

> But I do get to hide much of my sagging face under a beard. Why do you do this? Have you experienced discrimination due to your looks?

No, it's just that I hate the way it looks.

When I was young and stupid, I was very careless. I didn't keep my teeth clean. And I smoked hand-rolled cigarettes (unfiltered) using a tasty but extremely tarry Turkish/Virginia blend (Balkan Sobranie).

Anyway, after I finally quit the tobacco habit, I gained considerable weight, going from 68kg to 91kg over perhaps 3-4 years. And then I became a total workaholic, with no time for exercise. So I stayed at ~90kg for maybe two decades.

Over the past few years, I've been gradually doing more and more weight training and aerobic exercise. So I'm down to ~79kg, with a relatively low fat to muscle ratio. And I've been thinking about getting back into whitewater kayaking. It'd be a rush. And from my experience with hypothermia and near-drowning, it'd be a great way to die.

But anyway, given that I've lost lots of fat, and gained lots of muscle, my skin is a few sizes too big. And it shows little sign of shrinkage. I can deal with the flaps on my gut, arms and legs. But my face, you know, is just too much in my face :(

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#78

Post by code_duck »

toasterlovin wrote: post #76
code_duck wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What are you saying the difference is?

It's the difference between good and evil.

Are you commenting on the effect on the person who is withstanding the distressing situation through rationalization, or just mentioning that?
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