I'm Just a Middle-Aged House Dad Addicted to Pot • Hacker News Board

Re: I'm Just a Middle-Aged House Dad Addicted to Pot

#71

Post by anigbrowl » Mon, Oct 08, 2018, 6:43 PM UTC

sdrothrock wrote: post #37

anigbrowl wrote: post #8

Actually, you're an asshole who likes pot and uses it as an excuse to behave badly. My drug use history reads like War and Peace and I don't have any aggressive or obnoxious episodes that I feel terrible about because I always considered that no matter what strange thing I put in my body I was responsible for for my own behavior, inebriated or not. This person needs help, and the first thing they need to do is take r…

> My drug use history reads like War and Peace I'm curious about unpacking this since I actually read and enjoyed the book when I was in high school. Which of the following are you saying? These choices are obviously not exclusive, but I'm curious about your original intent. :) Your drug use history is: 1. Long (I think this is the most popular way to use War and Peace) 2. Boring (Probably the second most popular) 3.…

1 & 4, perhaps 2 as well (although I find W&P an enjoyable read). I've never gotten into a fight or anything similar under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Re: I'm Just a Middle-Aged House Dad Addicted to Pot

#72

Post by anigbrowl » Mon, Oct 08, 2018, 6:48 PM UTC

asveikau wrote: post #30

anigbrowl wrote: post #8

Actually, you're an asshole who likes pot and uses it as an excuse to behave badly. My drug use history reads like War and Peace and I don't have any aggressive or obnoxious episodes that I feel terrible about because I always considered that no matter what strange thing I put in my body I was responsible for for my own behavior, inebriated or not. This person needs help, and the first thing they need to do is take r…

He mentions depression. Some of those negative behaviors can also come from that. If that is a factor I think it's much more complicated than "taking responsibility". He's very publicly being honest with some flaws, I don't think it's right to call him an asshole over it.

Noted, and this is also something where I have a lot of first hand experience. Mental illness can be a valid excuse when someone is suffering from delusions but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

Re: I'm Just a Middle-Aged House Dad Addicted to Pot

#73

Post by anigbrowl » Mon, Oct 08, 2018, 7:10 PM UTC

xelxebar wrote: post #62

anigbrowl wrote: post #8

Actually, you're an asshole who likes pot and uses it as an excuse to behave badly. My drug use history reads like War and Peace and I don't have any aggressive or obnoxious episodes that I feel terrible about because I always considered that no matter what strange thing I put in my body I was responsible for for my own behavior, inebriated or not. This person needs help, and the first thing they need to do is take r…

> ... the first thing they need to do is take responsibility for who they are. Actually, you might want to look in the mirror a bit, buddy. I'd have agreed with your sentiment in the past, but now it reads as pretty self-righteous. Defining a person by some subset of their behavior is a specific, moral judgement not a factual description. For a lot of people experiencing depression, it's exactly the kind of 'advice'…

Mental illness, just like drug use, is no excuse for poor behavior unless someone is subject to actual delusions. I'm not blaming him for having a substance abuse problem or wasting his life, I fel plenty of empathy for those issues. It's the violent aggression toward other people that I take issue with.

Re: I'm Just a Middle-Aged House Dad Addicted to Pot

#74

Post by toomanybeersies » Mon, Oct 08, 2018, 11:18 PM UTC

jimmies wrote: post #36

I got introduced to pot when I entered grad school to do a STEM Ph.D. I was cool with it - I was never an addict. I smoked a couple of times a year at most. It had to be a quite special occasion for me to smoke marijuana, drink, or do other drugs. Like the author, drugs gave me the courage to do things I would regret later. I did things to hurt my very best girlfriend I could have when I was high. She later left me.…

It's funny how drugs and alcohol affect people differently.

I'm probably the nicest person that you could be around when I'm high or drunk. I don't get into fights or do anything to harm others (accidental self-harm on the other hand...). I've never managed to destroy a relationship due to my substance use.

I've never woken up in the morning and had to worry if I've left a trail of destruction behind me. Sure I've done dumb shit, but it's never hurt anyone else.

I'm actually more of an arsehole while I'm sober. I'm a nicer and more agreeable person when high, which is its own problem that I've been working through.

Drugs bring out our most base traits. For some that's a good thing, for others it's not.

Re: I'm Just a Middle-Aged House Dad Addicted to Pot

#75

Post by xelxebar » Thu, Oct 11, 2018, 1:13 AM UTC

anigbrowl wrote: post #73

xelxebar wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> ... the first thing they need to do is take responsibility for who they are. Actually, you might want to look in the mirror a bit, buddy. I'd have agreed with your sentiment in the past, but now it reads as pretty self-righteous. Defining a person by some subset of their behavior is a specific, moral judgement not a factual description. For a lot of people experiencing depression, it's exactly the kind of 'advice'…

Mental illness, just like drug use, is no excuse for poor behavior unless someone is subject to actual delusions. I'm not blaming him for having a substance abuse problem or wasting his life, I fel plenty of empathy for those issues. It's the violent aggression toward other people that I take issue with.

Thanks for the reply. I think we're sort of on the same page, at least with respect to opposing Neal's violent behavior

What I take issue with and find counter-productive is comingling the judgement of a person with the judgement of their (circumstantial) behavior.

I'm guessing that your original post was a strong reaction against the violence, but I also feel there's room to accept the person while still rejecting their behavior.

Anyway, cheers. Hope you have a good day.