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Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

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Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#71

Post by dmortin »

overcast wrote: post #38
coryfklein wrote: post #15

For a long time I've been wanting a "Tinder For Platonic Adults" app. I'm not looking for romance or sex, but I want to find nearby matches with similar interests; do you drink, play board games, are you married, how many kids and what age? There are likely tens of matches for me within a 5 minute drive, I just don't know how to find them . I'm a friendly guy and would love to have that friend that feels comfortable…

I use dating apps regularly when traveling for exactly that. You'd be surprised how willing people are to meetup without the pressure of dating/sex being involved. Fly into a city for work, meetup for fun, and make a new friend for next time.

Don't most people on dating apps actually look for dates, instead of just for some chat?

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#72

Post by DoofusOfDeath »

toomuchtodo wrote: post #57
untog wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

IMO it would ideally be separate from any dating app. Not just because of profile overlap, but also because as a married man I really don't want Bumble to be on the home screen of my phone. No matter how innocent my use of it, I wouldn't want anyone to see it on my phone and get a bad impression of me as a result.

Consider that you’re depriving yourself of possible friendships because of other people’s unreasonable judgements about you without having any context. As long as your partner is aware and okay with it, ignore what others think.

I think the GP's approach actually makes a lot of sense.

Affairs do happen. There's love in not giving your spouse unnecessary reason for worry.

And there's wisdom in not tooling up your phone in a way that makes moments of weakness more likely to result in an affair.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#73

Post by acali »

Rotdhizon wrote: post #9

I think a huge factor is the growing theme of social interaction being unacceptable. Back in the day you could walk up to and make friends with almost anyone, it wasn't weird to interact with strangers, thus making new acquaintances. Modern society stigmatizes that kind of interaction, don't talk to people you don't know if you don't want to be ostracized. You could want to befriend someone in a crowd, but come up wi…

Does anyone else get the sense while some people will claim they desire more social interactions, the're also very quick to judge each action, looking for indications of in-authenticity or hints that they're dealing with someone nefarious.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#74

Post by magduf »

ronnier wrote: post #3
evanagon wrote: post #2

"Decades of research substantiate the devastating effects of social isolation. Loneliness is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day and increases the risk of death by 26-45%, which is on par with risk factors such as high blood pressure, obesity, and lack of exercise."

It would be interesting to know if men are more lonely than women as everything I've seen has shown that it's easier for women to join social circles and find dates whereas most men struggle with this. As a result, I wonder if this connects to the much high suicide rate for men.

Just from looking at Meetup.com, I see all kinds of social groups just for women in my metro area, but I never see such things for men. There's social groups for everyone, and social groups just for women, and also social groups just for particular little subgroups (LGBT, [religion], etc.). I think there's something to this.

Another thing I've noticed is how many urban women get their exercise from "classes": barre, yoga, pilates, "orange theory", etc. Go into one of these and you probably won't see a single male there.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#76

Post by magduf »

JustSomeNobody wrote: post #21
Simulacra wrote: post #4

I'm curious if this is a direct result of the internet and smartphones. The two make us feel more connected, more global, but I think it makes us more isolated. I miss talking to my friends on the phone, and hanging out in the 90s. Everything, especially how humans interact, is so digital today.

> The two make us feel more connected, more global, but I think it makes us more isolated. My wife and I had this discussion the other day. Messaging or posting on FB or whatever is very flat. There's no depth to it at all. It doesn't replace hearing a loved one's voice or looking into their eyes or hugging them or even having a meal with them. When you go and you visit them and you see them, you realize how much you…

In my last relationship, almost all our communication when we weren't together was by text. She really had no interest in talking on the phone.

When she finally decided to dump me, she did it by text, and refused to meet in person or even talk on the phone about it.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#77

Post by fipple »

Nav_Panel wrote: post #47
fipple wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Part of that is social interaction being less necessary. My dad made many friends asking random people on the street for directions to a gas station or for a restaurant recommendation. Now we get that all from our phones.

Do you see internet social interaction as being a sufficient replacement for meatspace social interaction?

Not at all. I’m a much worse person on the Internet than in meatspace.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#78

Post by magduf »

awacs wrote: post #51

The country being so politically polarized isn't helping. It's to the point where most only want to socialize with people in the same "tribe". For better or worse.

It's not great, and I think it shows our society is fracturing and collapsing, but I don't want to socialize much with any Trump voters either. I have enough problems; I don't need someone spouting insane conspiracy theories to me about how 9/11 was "an inside job", Sandy Hook never happened, etc.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#79

Post by dunpeal »

> Few providers have focused on the loneliest population: 18- to 22-year-olds. While typically a low-risk population, young adults experience rates of loneliness and social isolation far higher than any other age group according to Cigna's recent survey.

How is that the case?

18-to-22 seems like the easiest stage of adult life to make and keep friends.

These are the youngest adults. They go out regularly, meet each other in public venues like clubs and bars, they're often actively dating, especially now with the ubiquity of apps like Tinder.

Add to that the fact that they generally either just graduated highschool, or are attending college. College is probably the easiest place to make friends: you spend your entire life there with people your age who are intellectually compatible with you.

I don't know how they did that survey, but in my experience 18-22 year olds tend to have the most friends and active social lives of all adult ages.

Now, compare that to professionals who often have to relocate for work, and find themselves in a new location where they know nobody. There aren't really many social facilities to help these people make new friends.

So I really don't know how they arrived at the conclusion that 18-22s are the loneliest ages. The older people I know, especially in their 30s and 40s, are more prone to social isolation in every respect.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#80

Post by bertjk »

Nav_Panel wrote: post #44

Incredible how the subtext here is "loneliness requires healthcare" rather than, say, "loneliness requires coordinated social change". Almost as if the goal is "how can we frame loneliness as an illness and reap some sweet insurance money."

I kind of agree with you, but what does positive "coordinated social change" look like? I can only think of negative ones, like those that occurred with radical political changes, or else explicit/thinly-veiled marketing campaigns for consumer goods..
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