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To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
71–80 of 180 posts
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#72I read quickly and didn't think of a white bear.
Probably because my focus was to quickly read the article.
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#73There was an author named Allen Carr, an Englishman, I believe, who wrote a book called The EasyWay to Quit Smoking. I can attest to the relative ease his method provides, over quitting cold turkey. Essentially, he uses tools of psychology to reinforce his points, such as spaced repetition, but he also dissects the psychology at play inside the smoker's mind. He frames nicotene addiction as a state of brainwashing, a…
Interesting. I started smoking despite knowing what was wrong with it (my grandfather died of lung cancer). At the time, I was battling depression and a drug habit. I made many changes in my life to get out of that pit; unfortunately cigarettes were one of them. So it struck me that smoking can't be all that bad, since it helped me pick my life back together.
Now, I'm clean of smoking too - by slowly cutting down the habit to 2/day and then drinking a glass of water whenever I crave a cigarette. I haven't had any nicotine in 4 months or so.
To whoever's reading this - if you have any addictions taking over you, remember that all is not lost. You can still get out of it. There isn't a one-size-fits-all technique, but there is always a technique. Find it and achieve it.
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#74Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and if you are suffering emotionally/mentally please seek professional help. ---- My anecdote: I used to frequently suffer from (undiagnosed) anxiety and depression. For about a year, I would respond to sudden anxiety by seeking comfort in various forms of isolation/depressed behavior (watch TV as a distraction, try to take a "nap", etc.). The most insidious thing about this was how it s…
> It took me about a year to recognize this pattern, but eventually I learned to catch myself whenever I was seeking this form of comfort Most of the advice from self-help books can be condensed into this line - Recognizing a pattern and catching yourself. Only after this in place can a behavior/habit be replaced. Or improved. Or removed. If there is no self-awareness, changing behavior/habit is infinitely more diffi…
I would maybe partially agree.
I personally mostly recognise the pattern, the problem is to find the strength to fight it, to want to change it at least. It's even more difficult if you are depressive.
For more than a year I struggled with a depression and sometimes couldn't get out of bed, even though I worked and studied, cycled at least 3 times per week and was mostly active. I would fall asleep everywhere and anywhere I could and wouldn't miss an opportunity to lie in bed and watch Netflix. At some point I thought I was just exhausted and it was normal to take a (5 hours) nap. But I was tired all the time, wanted to sleep at the lectures and pushed my limits at work. I realised what was the problem, I just got used to this routine where I worked, attended classes and slept, but somehow I didn't want to change anything, I thought I was too tired to do it, or I could do more harm by doing it. I needed a lot of time to realize that I was wasting my time and was not productive neither at work nor at college. So around two months ago I decided to change things. I used the winter break to travel a bit and looked for a new job. But most importantly, I tried to find a kind of a workout where I could relax by exercising; so I started to do some yoga, which helped me get back my concentration and relax.
My point is, that only recognising the pattern might not be enough. If there is not a desire to change it, it will not go away, so it kind of brings us back to the resistance part mentioned in the article. I think wanting to change the pattern is the resistance and "changing things and replacing the habits" is just another way of this same resistance.
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#75Psych major here, every behaviorist (and psych major) knows this. Ironic that they feel the need to quote Carl Jung for a totally banal effect of learning: Doing nothing is harder than doing something else.
Doing nothing is harder than doing something else. Interesting concept, do you have any links or cites for more info?
Have you tried doing nothing?
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#76That was a lot shorter than I expected for a self-help piece. There are so many such pieces, books, videos, groups and online courses on forming new habits and motivation, but there’s still a huge market to be developing content in this space. We humans seem to be fundamentally built for laziness and habits, which could many a times be to our own detriment.
I would swap 'laziness' to rest. We think we need to do a lot of things purely because we tell ourselves that, or we put ourselves in expensive environments.
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#77Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and if you are suffering emotionally/mentally please seek professional help. ---- My anecdote: I used to frequently suffer from (undiagnosed) anxiety and depression. For about a year, I would respond to sudden anxiety by seeking comfort in various forms of isolation/depressed behavior (watch TV as a distraction, try to take a "nap", etc.). The most insidious thing about this was how it s…
> It took me about a year to recognize this pattern, but eventually I learned to catch myself whenever I was seeking this form of comfort Most of the advice from self-help books can be condensed into this line - Recognizing a pattern and catching yourself. Only after this in place can a behavior/habit be replaced. Or improved. Or removed. If there is no self-awareness, changing behavior/habit is infinitely more diffi…
There's a little thing that helps is the experience that correcting your self brings tangible benefits. When you felt it, the next time you will happily fix your problems. In a way I felt it was a worthy definition of being an adult. You suddenly strive for small but regular, organized, balanced .. instead of idle or intense (typical young adult maybe)
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#78Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and if you are suffering emotionally/mentally please seek professional help. ---- My anecdote: I used to frequently suffer from (undiagnosed) anxiety and depression. For about a year, I would respond to sudden anxiety by seeking comfort in various forms of isolation/depressed behavior (watch TV as a distraction, try to take a "nap", etc.). The most insidious thing about this was how it s…
I used to deviate into physical exercice. It does give you a lot. I often mention it but I reached bottom heart wise, which forbidded me to do so, delaying everything a lot since I can't take care of my body and enjoy the calming and motivational hormonal benefits.
Physical activity is immensely valuable. Just yesterday some documentary linked here mentioned that cardiac exams and statins are not even as useful as proper active lifestyle.
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#79I think attacking one problem at a time is the best way to go about (at least for me). I noticed that many people try to make drastic changes all at once and then fail at all of them. I'd recommend trying one thing and just doing that one thing above all else. IE, don't try to exercise and diet at the same time. Pick one and when you've firmly established the habit, start the next change.
I agree completely. I spent years as a fitness instructor and worked out regularly. Life happened, I stopped teaching and working out consistently for five years and everything went south, weight, blood pressure, strength, cardio, cholesterol, etc. I tried to "turn things around" and failed. First step first 6 months - I cut back on fried foods, salty foods, burgers, and sweets and kept a sane calorie budget. Along w…
As far as cutting back on meat goes: I'd suggest simply focusing on eating enough vegetables. Most folks don't come near eating enough fruit and vegetables (most of which should be vegetables). You might find that simply getting enough vegetables forces you to cut back on meat. You might replace part of the meat in a meal with vegetables. Maybe switch your breakfast so you eat fruit or vegetables. Same for lunch. Finish your veggies at dinner. This doesn't feel restrictive in the way "less meat" does. You are only on one goal, after all, and the other might be a natural side effect.
And about soda: I'd suggest simply cutting down on soda altogether. Once they are out of the normal loop, it isn't so bad to have a soda once a month or something. I eventually just quit: nearly all soda tastes like syrup. The main exception is one they sell here that is basically watered down, carbonated fruit juice. As a bonus, you can still have the thing you enjoy from time to time.
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#80When training animals, particularly dogs, it's (I think) pretty well-known that redirecting to positive behaviors is much more effective than punishing unwanted behaviors (so much so that one could say "punishment does not work at all compared to redirecting to desired behaviors" without much exaggeration). i.e. when a dog chews on a sofa cushion, put a dog chew in their mouth or direct them to go get their toy or ch…
I do agree with your statement, but it's the idealistic approach and sometimes not effective at all.
A big problem with the dogs (as observed in humans, too) is that if they don't see a leader in you, they are going to take this position over. I've had 4 dogs in my lifetime and I've tried different approaches with all of them, because they all had different characters, but one thing I did with all of them: I was strict and I punished them at times. They are like babies, I don't think you can raise a child without punishing him from time to time; if you don't do so, there can be much more complications which maybe harmful for both parties.