I learned more useful, practical concepts and skills by taking a couple of SANS courses than I did in four years of a CIS program at a University. Both my university classes and the SANS courses consisted of books, presentations, lectures, and individual or group assignments/labs. If they are taught the same as a university course, why is it automatically considered inferior? SANS teaches a lot of tools, but they also teach the underlying concepts to prevent people from becoming dependent on tools. In some subjects, it would be insane to not teach tools. For example, I took the GREM (Malware Analysis) course. Its an very basic course, but it would be foolish for anyone to teach a course about reverse engineering or malware analysis without using IDA or OllyDBG.
While the class won't (and doesn't claim to) turn someone into a professional-level reverse engineer, this course helped me understand a few things about assembly that I just wasn't comprehending when I used other sources.
Would I attempt to use my GREM as justification for applying to a malware analysis job? Of course not, but the course has helped put me on the right path. Its possible many people learned through another, far less expensive method, but that doesn't mean the training was worthless.
If I were hiring someone, I wouldn't use certifications as a sign that they are qualified. However, I would use the certifications listed on their resumes, combined with their work experience, to figure out what kinds of questions I should ask them.
I also wouldn't use certifications or a lack of certifications to disqualify a person. Using your anecdotal evidence of bad experiences with certified people to label all of them as incompetent is ignorant.