The only rational reason to work as an
employee of a startup is for better job titles, working conditions, and professional development (from tougher challenges). Getting paid in lottery tickets is
not sound investment strategy.
You may be a better informed investor if you pick the locks on the filing cabinets in the C-level offices after the bosses go home, and bug all the conference rooms, but it is unlikely that will make you better at estimating the future market value of the company, or at evaluating potential buyout scenarios. In any case, I never thought that spying on my bosses was a good idea. I just heard the lies, saw through the BS, and started sending out resumes. Or I got blindsided and started sending out resumes.
You should only work at a startup that will support the lifestyle you desire. If you were really critical to the company, you would have a contract and genuine equity, rather than being "at will" with a promise of options vesting later. Your primary concern should be "can the company continue to pay me for my work this month?", and your secondary concern "can they pay me next month?", and so on. As an employee, you are a replaceable worker-for-hire.
If you want to win big at the startup game, be a co-founder with undilutable equity. If you want to invest prudently as an employee, you can play the entire market rather than just one small, potentially volatile company, and a bigger cash paycheck makes that easier to do.
Employee option grants just seem like a con to make peon-level employees feel like they have more agency and more emotional connection with their employer than they actually do. The anecdotal success stories of option grants that actually pay off are necessary to keep the game going, just as state lotteries have to blow some money on oversized checks, balloons, and confetti whenever someone wins the jackpot.
The company's money does not come from a vacuum. No matter what amount of profit you get from an option grant, the company could have given it to you in a different, less complicated way. If you exercise 1000 options, and have to sell 500 of the shares to cover the exercise price, the company could have just granted you 500 shares directly, and still had 500 left to give out later. The hand-wavey sort-of-options are 100% there to benefit the company, and its owners, and their tax preparer, not you.