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reminds me of this article... http://markmanson.net/question TL;DR: Don't set goals based on what makes you happy. Instead, decide what you're willing to suffer for.
I didn't agree with his opening premise of what everybody wants, so I couldn't finish reading.
PROTIP: 1. Have a longterm vision/goal for your life that is achievable regardless of financial resources/location etc. 2. Find a partner in crime who shares that vision and is willing to join you on what will surely be a great adventure known as your life. Life will surely be no bed of roses. 3. Stress Test your relationship in some way to ensure the vision/goal is aligned. I decided I should marry my wife following…
handle pretty much anything for six months Check back in six years, then fifteen, then twenty
PROTIP: 1. Have a longterm vision/goal for your life that is achievable regardless of financial resources/location etc. 2. Find a partner in crime who shares that vision and is willing to join you on what will surely be a great adventure known as your life. Life will surely be no bed of roses. 3. Stress Test your relationship in some way to ensure the vision/goal is aligned. I decided I should marry my wife following…
no. you tested with a lot of externalities keeping life exciting. the real stress is being together through the daily, normal grind. in particular kids. where traveling for 6months through SA becomes unattainable - but you still remember those good old days. the 7 year itch is very real and closely tracks having kids. what you describe is the 20something vision of life. changes drastically mid-30s for most.
PROTIP: 1. Have a longterm vision/goal for your life that is achievable regardless of financial resources/location etc. 2. Find a partner in crime who shares that vision and is willing to join you on what will surely be a great adventure known as your life. Life will surely be no bed of roses. 3. Stress Test your relationship in some way to ensure the vision/goal is aligned. I decided I should marry my wife following…
Counter tips: > 1. Have a longterm vision/goal for your life that is achievable regardless of financial resources/location etc. 1. Plan for financial long term future but focus on the fun in the short term. Also, good fun is a cheap fun so it's not mutually exclusive with the previous sentence. > 2. Find a partner in crime who shares that vision and is willing to join you on what will surely be a great adventure know…
"Sience! I'll kill you!" (Ahmed Scientist)
I thought I had read something like this before. The Philosophers' Mail had some very thought provoking writing but it appears to have gone under.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
So don't have kids, we're not running out of people after all.
Not sure why you're downvoted. I suppose you're not contributing too much to the conversation, and it seems a little sarcastic (or something), but i often feel not having kids is a forgotten option. My SO and I chose long ago not to have kids (independently, fwiw), and people often look at us like we have two heads (.. each, heh).
I thought I had read something like this before. The Philosophers' Mail had some very thought provoking writing but it appears to have gone under.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
There're random factors you can't control. Good example is post-partum depression. Every child birth is 20% chance; once happening, it can significantly change both partners.
So don't have kids, we're not running out of people after all.
https://ourworldindata.org/future-world-population-growth/#w...
> The good news is that it doesn’t matter if we find we have married the wrong person. Yes, it does! OMG, this so laughably wrong. (The whole article.) Who you marry is a big, big determiner of happiness. It's better to be single than to marry the wrong person.
That line is speaking at a different level than your response. The point - which the article goes on to elaborate on in the next few paragraphs - is that happiness is a choice , not a consequence . Every person is going to have flaws, and they will have little quirks that drive you nuts. Whether the relationship succeeds or not depends on how you react to those flaws. Do disagreements spiral out of control, with each…
Of course you can, but from the outside you'll be miserable. You are master of your emotions, and can still make do with the situation. But you could have married someone you are more compatible with and only need slight efforts every here and there.
Everyone has flaws and in any couple there is a need to make adjustments, but the size of these adjustments will still wildly vary wether you take care to choose someone that fits you or not.
Saying "nobody's perfect so why care ?" is a thing nobody in their sane mind would take seriously.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
The myth of unadopted babies/kids is pervasive and pretty inaccurate. Most babies and small children who are up for adoption have multiple families vying to bring them home already... If you want to talk about adopting preteens/teens/special needs children then it's a different ball game, but that's not what people try to do.
Yes, I wasn't implying an age limit on adoption. However, I think there's almost always some amount of self-interest in having kids: Me and my girlfriend despise babies (for now) and simply don't see ourselves as being responsible/mature enough to raise kids yet. We do entertain the idea though, now and then, and for us the main attractions of having kids seem to be: Something we made together, a "substitute" of each…
The goal I have with raising my child isn't to create a miniature version of myself, it's to raise an autonomous individual with a robust moral framework. As far as self-interest goes, sharing this experience with my partner is one of the things I look forward to most over the next few years.