Live data from Hacker News

I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

wave3.social

681–690 of 728 posts

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#681

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Far from being hard to understand Zionists in this sense is not all Jews but those that support the actions of Israel in the latest conflict because of the impact on the Palestinian civilian population. I agree there is a lot of equivocation in that article though but it mostly seems to be from people that wish to soft-soap the on-going war crimes Israel is committing rather than anyone genuinely being confused by th…

Zionism has a definition. political support for the creation and development of a Jewish homeland in Israel https://www.britannica.com/dictionary/Zionism Historically the majority of jewish people fall into this definition. So off the bat you creating your own incorrect definition proves it IS hard to understand what a ban on 'Zionists' mean. You've called me a liar for no reason previously so I won't bother respondi…

You said the organizers couldn't agree on what it means. I'm just stating that doesn't seem to be true and I didn't give my definition of Zionism but what it seemed to be based on the article. Finally I used the words 'in this sense' to recognise that it was a particular, local definition. Quoting a dictionary definition doesn't change the fact that words in it can have very different meanings in different contexts. So your attack on my premise is flawed.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#682
post #447

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sorry to hear that’s your experience. I’m staying with my parents this week and I visited the local bouldering gym alone on Wednesday and last night. On Wednesday I met someone called Nelly, and hung out with them for the session. Yesterday I bumped into Nelly with their friends Maddie and Kate and climbed with them. I’m leaving on Sunday so I gave one of them my number and they messaged me to say it was great fun cl…

You don't need to go to the bouldering gym to make small talk hoping it becomes more than that. You can make small talk everywhere like libraries, cafes, bars, meet-ups, concerts, stand-ups, etc. places where the main activity is talking, not exercising. And if sports is your jam, team sports are better for socializing than solitary sports like bouldering, because you are forced to work together and build connections…

Small-talk is dying people on their iPhones constantly scrolling every spare moment

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#683

This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…

Location specific is better, because if you just know that a particular spot has the kind of people and atmosphere that is inviting and pleasant to be in, you just go there. No need to check-in or schedule a meeting or anything else. Frequent regular interval fixed-time events are good too. I used to part of a racquet club that just had an open session all evening twice a week. You just show up and play and so did everyone else. You put your name up and are just play whoever is next for a game, then wait, then play someone else. You get to play a variety of people and when waiting your turn you can chat and get to know the other players. 5 stars system.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#684
post #544

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Fine, but why do you list two needs with enormous female gendered baggage in that case?

Perhaps the baggage is a projection based on your own experiences?

[dead]

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#685

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The notion that any members left is your own invention.

From a Reddit discussion about the same article: > I spoke with some men at the Man Shed in Edinburgh at Christmas and they mentioned that in the cases they had heard about where women had been let in the number of male members dropped. — https://www.reddit.com/r/unitedkingdom/comments/1k6w3pr/we_p... Aside from that, just take a look at what happened. When women joined, the men responded by finding a men-only room t…

Oh, rumours from a completely different place are to be taken as facts for this group? Very level headed analysis you got there.

Besides, as is abundantly clear from the program, they "escape" in there to have a "quiet chat" because the band saw in the big room is fucking loud.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#686

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because the response they are receiving when they 'advocate for the better of their demographic (and the type of response that is turning them sour/disillusioned) is: "Let's say everything you said was true" - iteria (needlessly implying it's a lie/not happening) "someone is providing an easy scapegoat for their own problems" - tayo42 (implying what they are experience/feeling isn't real/valid. This takes some tempor…

I can have a lot of empathy for someone who had explicit promises broken but apart from this sounding like a completely made up story it has no bearing on his skin color or sex. People are taken advantage of all the time and promises, even contracts are broken all the time. Your 'son' has taken the route of victimization rather than taking the high road. Getting screwed over is one thing, turning that in to bigotry i…

[deleted]

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#687

This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…

I co-ran a very transformative social club as a co-working space for several years.

People still talk about it years later.

It's not hard to do if you have the space.

But you have to have the space.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#688

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Cognitive habit problems aside, this is one of the primary provisions of churches/temples/et cetera. Frequently featuring gender divided activities.

I realize that it is silly to tell non-believers to go to church to fix their problems but it’s funny how often people talk about place or group or organization that seems to be missing in society that was fulfilled by houses of worship in the past.

I co-ran a co-working space that focused on relationships, it's really powerful to have spaces that allow introverts a zero effort socializing experience.

We also threw open to the public art shows and parties with drink sponsorships and everything.

What's better than a church environment? A "city gates" environment.

I am not part of the church any longer, a properly run co-working space, not one that tried to emulate soul less corporate America, gives space for the wealthy tech bro and the poor artist to have multi round interaction that both build trust and provide implicit (and sometimes explicit) accountability. Most of us operate in environments where, outside of family and work there is nothing of value to lose, and churches and other places that exhibit ideological ratchet effects aren't great.

The city gates, that's really the best place to be, we far outpunched our startup weight in the city we were in because we built trust more than anything.

I come from a missionary family that has probably planted more churches by number than any other group, one family far outstripping many mission agencies. That experience and family knowledge was absolutely critical to making what we did work.

But in the U.S. I don't think anyone is interested in funding a 3rd places startup, it's sad that the same people who will talk about the power of 100 true fans don't get the power of 100 people in true community and the way that opens up thousands of paths for people to try things they otherwise wouldn't be able to.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#689

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Far from being hard to understand Zionists in this sense is not all Jews but those that support the actions of Israel in the latest conflict because of the impact on the Palestinian civilian population. I agree there is a lot of equivocation in that article though but it mostly seems to be from people that wish to soft-soap the on-going war crimes Israel is committing rather than anyone genuinely being confused by th…

Zionism has a definition. political support for the creation and development of a Jewish homeland in Israel https://www.britannica.com/dictionary/Zionism Historically the majority of jewish people fall into this definition. So off the bat you creating your own incorrect definition proves it IS hard to understand what a ban on 'Zionists' mean. You've called me a liar for no reason previously so I won't bother respondi…

Creating a Jewish ethnostate in Israel means kicking out everyone who isn't Jewish, or at least keeping their levels low enough they don't have any political influence, which pretty much means doing the things Israel is doing. I don't think these are significantly different definitions.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#690

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1) Real friends certainly let you be real. And the scene I frequent deeply frowns on unconsensual photography. Most of the events I go to they sticker all the cameras. I love that. I go there for the people not for Instagram. That's not to say nobody takes pics but they do it in a quiet corner so they don't catch anyone by mistake. It makes it very respectful. The stickers are just a reminder so you don't just start…

> Men's weekends" just end up with [...] hanging in front of the TV watching boring sports or crappy porn. How many situations are you in where group consumption of pornography is normal? I've been in very few.

Many. And I don't even mind but it's usually really bad porn. Also it's not like anyone does anything, they just sit there and pretend they're not interested or ignore it. It's really weird. Also a kind of macho thing I think. Anyway in Holland this is not uncommon.

I have nothing against pornography at all but I do have a minimum quality :) I like the more stylish stuff.

Though I prefer watching people in real life, I'm lucky to have some other friends who are into that too.

Post reply on HN