Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

The death of partying in the USA

derekthompson.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

671–680 of 756 posts

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#671

Post by lisbbb »

dlcarrier wrote: post #602
Auracle wrote: post #341

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's true. However, I worked as a photographer for about 10 years (quit about 2 years ago) and high school senior photos were one of my specialties, so I got to know a lot of teenagers. Overscheduling is, I think, the biggest issue. Most of the teens I worked with had something going on almost every night, to the point where rescheduling due to rain or heat was an absolute nightmare. Sports were the biggest offende…

I swear the more Xanax people get, the more they overschedule themselves and their kids. I think existence of anxiety prevents people from overexerting themselves, and pharmacologically removing it just lets people, and the children they live through, take on more responsibilities, beyond what is healthy.

I think drugs like Xanax are playing a huge, but under-the-radar type of role in all kind of social contagions that we are witnessing. Every time someone does something crazy or even just a bit "off" I ask myself: "Is that person on drugs?" The answer is likely "yes!" Not illegal drugs, per se, but still.

I don't overschedule my kids. It's ridiculous what I see going on and I'm not friends with those "driven" parents whose motivations I simply can't fathom. There is a total lack of respect for basic academics amongst them, too.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#672

Post by watwut »

9rx wrote: post #545
realo wrote: post #533

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Aaaahhh... You have "beach" ... with the "bonfires" option pack ... This is very nice urban furniture. Here we have "streets" and , occasionally, "public parks". Forget the "bonfires" option.

> Forget the "bonfires" option. This right here is emblematic of the change in culture. When Gen X were young you weren't allowed to have bonfires (in most public places) either, but that never stopped anyone. Nowadays the kids are too afraid to do anything.

Or maybe they are less of assholes in that regard. It is actually ok to not start fires where you should not.

And starting them does not make one courageous, just jerks.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#673

Post by watwut »

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #451
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #249

This was a post on the GenX subreddit (from a Gen Zer) from just a couple days ago asking about if parties as portrayed in late 90s/early 00s "teen movies" were actually a real thing: https://www.reddit.com/r/GenX/comments/1lu102v/were_parties_... The responses from the Gen Xers were a mix of bewilderment and sadness, stuff like "What do you mean parties like this, it's just a normal teenage party!? I feel so ancient…

The old "boomer" parties were even wilder. Some girl's parents would leave for the weekend, and she'd quietly invite a friend or two over. Somehow, word would get out, and 400 people would show up, with multiple kegs, and the place would get trashed.

That is what she gets for having weak boundaries tho. And it is a thing that if you have seen, you will actively teach your kids to avoid - by saying no soom enough.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#674

Post by bentt »

As a parent, what my wife and I see is that when the kids have access to the internet, they socialize on the internet. When they don't have access to the internet, they socialize in real life. Most often it's just a question of convenience. It's a pain in the ass to get together. It used to be the only way.

Another thing is that parents just don't leave their kids alone any more. My sister's son is almost 20 and she's still thinking about his goings on even when he's at college. This might be nice in terms of feeling loved, but independence is almost required to bring partying back.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#675

Post by lisbbb »

amgutier wrote: post #47
Apreche wrote: post #28

This article isn’t wrong, but it neglects to mention real estate, transportation, and lodging. A party needs a venue, and it needs guests. And the guests need a way to get to and from the venue. If they stay a long time, they need a place to sleep. People these days don’t own real estate. Wealthy people own it all. Normal people are renting apartments or portions of homes. It’s kind of hard to throw a big party witho…

In my younger days I threw 100 person parties in a San Francisco apartment - it's standing room only for sure, but so is going to a crowded bar. And I've cooked for 15 without a dining table - you eat on the floor wherever you can find space. Now I don't disagree with your point; I'm not 22 anymore and live in the burbs and have a less full social calendar, largely due to the logistical overhead of finding my way int…

Instead of "don't disagree" please say: "I agree" it is proper English and not some stylized, holier-than-thou sounding, completely logically twisted up act.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#676

Post by 9rx »

watwut wrote: post #672
9rx wrote: post #545

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Forget the "bonfires" option. This right here is emblematic of the change in culture. When Gen X were young you weren't allowed to have bonfires (in most public places) either, but that never stopped anyone. Nowadays the kids are too afraid to do anything.

Or maybe they are less of assholes in that regard. It is actually ok to not start fires where you should not. And starting them does not make one courageous, just jerks.

> Or maybe they are less of assholes in that regard.

What's the difference? There has been nothing to suggest that the kids today are afraid of fire itself – with earlier implication that they would have bonfires in parks if allowed to – so, what else could they be afraid of other than to upset someone else? Perhaps you forgot to read the thread before replying?

> And starting them does not make one courageous, just jerks.

Now you're going off into la-la land. Did not read the thread confirmed.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#677

Post by tartoran »

realityfactchex wrote: post #94
01100011 wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My Southern California neighborhood used to be like this. It was a diverse neighborhood of white, Filipino, Viet and Mexicans and it felt alive. Then covid hit and the demographics changed. Prices went up. Now the neighborhood is as quiet at night as where I lived in the bay area a few years ago. No open garages. No music. People are generally unfriendly now and keep to themselves more. Sad what we've lost. We're sti…

> open garages Can you say more about open garages and community? Is that about car culture, music, pool tables, garage "bars", sofas, TVs, or something else? Would the whole local neighborhood be welcomed into open garages, or was open-garage-culture limited to people whom people already knew?

> limited to people whom people already knew?

Of course it's limited to people you know but it seems like a good way to know your nieghbors and once you know them you can invite eachother to the garage or backyard.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#678

Post by tartoran »

reginald78 wrote: post #340
chkaloon wrote: post #149

The article mentions alcohol consumption by kids, but I think it doesn't emphasize enough the effect of efforts like Mothers Against Drunk Driving and strict DUI laws. Back in the 70s and 80s having a few drinks at a party, bar or friend's house was normal and part of the social lubrication. Even drinks during lunch was common where I worked. No more. You either need to have a designated driver, find a taxi (which do…

I feel like while there were laws against furnishing alcohol to minors and the like, I never really heard of some one's parents getting charged because some kid crashed his car after boozing it up at a party back then. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention but it seems like the enforcement of that really stepped up.

Oh, it certainly happened. Some people don't have a limit and decency isn't on their minds and when they get in trouble the law is used against them. Also bitter neighbors could call the cops on you.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#679

Post by khelavastr »

There were fewer bullies. These days, if you try to get together s group of people with strong passion you're likely to be targeted by people who insist on inclusion in resource sharing or else they'll persecute the group that advantages itself.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#680

Post by frollogaston »

al_borland wrote: post #650
frollogaston wrote: post #515

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I grew up in the 90s-2000s in a place were people were very serious about school. Very few kids were getting drunk etc, there were very few couples and 0 teen pregnancies, but there was still a healthy amount of socializing. That chart showing going out with 2+ friends was still a high % then, and it matched my experience. This completely changed after iPhones and Facebook became popular enough. It ruined even the re…

I graduated high school in 2001, which sounds like a similar era, but what I saw seemed very different. So maybe things changed pretty quickly once computers hit the mainstream and I’m just a bit older than you. At my high school we had several girls get pregnant. I remember a kid getting a DUI and he made a necklace out of the tube used to blow in the breathalyzer and wore it with pride. In my first class of the day…

I'm younger than that. Smartphones became popular while I was in high school. It happened pretty quickly, so we went from no smartphones to having them everywhere within a year.
Post reply on HN