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Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

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Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#671

Post by lkdfjlkdfjlg »

esperent wrote: post #537
ssnistfajen wrote: post #329

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Housing isn't the sole factor in declining birthrates. Every industrialized nation is going through the same phenomenon and not all of them are having housing crises. It's a combination of various associated costs to raising children (housing, early childcare, food, schooling, extracurriculars, hobbies, etc.) that have risen faster than most people's wages. The nuclear family model also significantly diminished the r…

> not all of them are having housing crises A lot of them are, actually. I'm Irish, we're having a housing (and general cost of living) crisis. I know Portugal and Germany are too. I don't know about other countries in the EU regarding housing specifically but there's a block wide cost of living crisis going on right now. Life is hard for people in all kinds of ways because of covid, war, climate change. Note: I'm no…

Ireland isn't really representative of anything. It's the country in the world with second highest GDP per capita (!!!).

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#672

Post by mlboss »

cntrmmbrpsswrd wrote: post #617
silisili wrote: post #397

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes they can. People are just too selfish and think of kids as costing lattes and ruining their free time. Believe it or not, kids don't have to be expensive as reports have you believe. They can go to public school, wear hand me downs or walmart clothes, and eat what would have been leftovers. Most coworkers with kids I've spoken with complain about costs of daycare, babysitting, and Montessori schools. We pay for n…

The idea that not having kids is a selfish act is ridiculous and needs to end.

The reasoning is that you were raised by somebody but when it is your turn you are avoiding the responsibility. If everybody start to think this way the human race will stop existing.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#673

Post by eropple »

bluGill wrote: post #633
Defletter wrote: post #336

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's wild that, not too long ago, you could afford a house and a car on a single income as a mailman. That is unthinkable today. We understand there are ways to be successful, but it's like that saying: anyone can be successful, but everyone can't. I know a lot of people who spend their money on experiences because they genuinely believe they won't get a retirement, so they might as well enjoy their life while they c…

In 1950 you could afford a car and house on one income - but that house as much smaller than the typical house today. You also had one car not two, your wife (this was sexist times - men worked, women stayed home) probably didn't even have a drivers license. If she did she couldn't drive anywhere when you were at work unless she drove you to work. (thus door to door salesmen: sell things those housewives need but can…

> In 1950 you could afford a car and house on one income - but that house as much smaller than the typical house today.

"Typical" is doing some really heavy lifting there given the kind of housing stock available in, say, East Coast urban areas. Most of those remotely-affordable houses are a hundred years old in the Boston area, for example.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#674

Post by eropple »

mlrtime wrote: post #635
Runways wrote: post #263

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Texan here. Your ad hominem attack is BS. Our house prices, North of Dallas and deep in the suburbs - far from the bay areas and Seattles, have doubled. That includes my home. People in our profession usually have to live by big cities, like Dallas. But the homes are ridiculously priced and it's insane. My juniors have no hope of owning a home that is big enough to raise a family without years of saving. And they're…

There is still more affordable housing in TX than anywhere in the US. Texas is building more than any other state (Florida is close). I just drove by a new development [in TX], with brand new homes that start at 1800/mo for a 3 Bedroom. Financing by the developer. So if you get out of Dallas or Austin you will find affordable housing.

How far do you have to drive to go to a supermarket from that development? To a library? (Silly me, expecting people to go to a library in 2024, right?)

If Dallas or Houston or Austin had decent mass transit out to those areas that'd be one thing, but they wouldn't be very "mass", and therein lies one of the problems. Car culture increases isolation and generally shits up the world ever further; somewhere like a YOLO development in the suburbs to exurbs is deleterious to human flourishing and saying "well just buy something where you need a car for everything", as opposed to like the one-off Home Depot run or something, is just trading problems.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#675

Post by TomK32 »

Retric wrote: post #650
TomK32 wrote: post #620

My daughter is an only child but has eight cousins (that I know of, most are in her age range) but barely spends time with them. She's not missing out on anything because she has a large circle of friends her age, be it from the public playground when they only started walking, kindergarden or now the first three years in school. It takes some effort as a parent and tbh dumping-the-child-at-her-friends-and-vice-versa…

There’s very specific safety features that have reduced the number of kids killed by cars. Backup cameras for example where mandated specificity due to demonstrated safety benefits. People vastly overestimate how dangerous letting their kids out to play is and underestimate how beneficial it is. There’s real health benefits to running around outside which means limiting them to specific after school activities also h…

SUV are get bigger with the blind zones in front of and around cars are getting longer and frontovers are becoming a problem as well https://www.kidsandcars.org/news/post/senator-wants-federal-...

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#676

Post by rsynnott »

atomicnumber3 wrote: post #16

Anecdata: I am 31 and have 3 young kids. They have 0 cousins and, on top of that, 0... second cousins? Cousins-once-removed? Whatever the one is for my cousin's kids. My kids are my grandma's only great-grandkids. And I have... 6 cousins. On top of that, at my last job, on my team of 15, I was the only one with kids, and only 1 of those 15 engineers were under the age of 30. At my current job, my team is 8, and again…

I think 30 would be _somewhat_ on the young side these days? Most people I know with kids had them mid to late 30s.

EDIT: Looks like the average age a woman in the US has a first child is at 27. That's actually lower than I'd have expected; here in Ireland it's 33.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#677

Post by TomK32 »

postexitus wrote: post #643
TomK32 wrote: post #620

My daughter is an only child but has eight cousins (that I know of, most are in her age range) but barely spends time with them. She's not missing out on anything because she has a large circle of friends her age, be it from the public playground when they only started walking, kindergarden or now the first three years in school. It takes some effort as a parent and tbh dumping-the-child-at-her-friends-and-vice-versa…

I am not sure if friends replace (at least my experience of) cousins. With couisins, you spend days, nights, sleepovers sometimes a whole summer together. You share grandparents, your parents are siblings - you never leave each other's side. It's like sibling minus one. With friends, yes you get very good friends and they are your "chosen family" but you don't spend half as much time together even to the best of your…

Unlike your friends, you can't choose your family and sleepovers with friends is what my daughter has more than once a month.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#678

Post by filleduchaos »

khazhoux wrote: post #384
conradludgate wrote: post #353

Why are people so obsessed about it I have children? I'm married and we've decided we don't want to have kids. It really bothers me when people say "oh you're missing out, that's such a shame". Please think about what you are saying. It doesn't matter if I'm gay, infertile, poor, depressed, or just don't want them. Please keep your judgements to yourself or even just stop judging others.

> It really bothers me when people say "oh you're missing out, that's such a shame" Do you have any friends or relatives who refuse to try ramen or pho, no matter how many times you tell them that it's the best food ever, and that you also thought it seemed weird to put steak in a broth with noodles until you finally gave it a try and then you couldn't believe how delicious it was and you wish you'd tried it years ea…

I'm not sure what conclusion I'm supposed to be drawing here, because I don't at all consider it normal to keep hounding someone to try any meal after they've refused it a couple of times.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#679

Post by naravara »

atomicnumber3 wrote: post #16

Anecdata: I am 31 and have 3 young kids. They have 0 cousins and, on top of that, 0... second cousins? Cousins-once-removed? Whatever the one is for my cousin's kids. My kids are my grandma's only great-grandkids. And I have... 6 cousins. On top of that, at my last job, on my team of 15, I was the only one with kids, and only 1 of those 15 engineers were under the age of 30. At my current job, my team is 8, and again…

Second cousins would be your cousin's cousins. It basically comes down to which level of grandparent you have in common. Grandparents = cousins, great-grandparents = second cousins, great-great-grandparents = third cousins.

The "removed" refers to differences in generational cohort. So if you are connected to the person by your grandparent but that same person is a great-grandparent to the relative, that relative is once removed from you. So your first cousins' children are first cousins once removed. Their grandchildren would be your first cousins twice-removed.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#680

Post by filleduchaos »

graphe wrote: post #653
conradludgate wrote: post #627

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow... Where to start... Assuming that you're not trolling: 1. Plenty of gay people have stable monogamous relationships/marriages. 2. Marriage isn't only for children. Marriage has legal and tax implications. 3. I like having a stable relationship, I don't like dating and switching partners. I like deeper connections with my partners.

Most gay marriages are non monogamous, so your point is ‘plenty’ misleading. Marriage is legally less beneficial for men in the us (divorce lawyer is paid by the men), and marriages don’t mean stable relationships. An emotional marriage is likely less stable than a cohabitation. Because the first point is challenged: https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/gay-men-in-open-relation... > Several research studies show that…

> Most gay marriages are non monogamous, so your point is ‘plenty’ misleading

I think it's a bit rich to use an opinion plucked out of thin air to call someone else's words misleading.

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