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Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

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Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#661

Post by nonplus »

sam345 wrote: post #569

It seems you can't ignore a lot of this is a product of fewer children, temporary and transitional relationships that are not governed by the boundaries of marriage, and fewer intact families. This leads to fewer siblings, fewer responsibilities toward others, and more opportunities to be and feel isolated. There is a reason why the concept of a family protected by certain legal responsibilities and obligations have…

We seem to agree that what replaced religion (for profit social media) is not a basis for a strong society, or fulfilling lives. Religion seems like a close 2nd worst option though.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#664

Post by kentich »

I save myself from total loneliness by hanging out in the background through a virtual frosted glass with my friend (via the https://MeetingGlass.com/ app). We do that every day for a few hours. Its better than nothing. It gives a relief from being home alone. At least you can see that someone is out there.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#665

Post by Rendello »

cricketbee wrote: post #523

i always thought I had avoided this issue. then i moved to a new town. starting with zero friends in a new town, with very little in place as far as shows, groups, etc, it seems quite a bit harder than it was 20 years ago. meetup used to work but it has become a cesspool of zoom calls and pay meetings. i wish i knew a really good answer (and i dont drink so bars dont have the appeal. by the time i get off of work cof…

I've wanted to try out the "2 hour cocktail party", based on the book linked in this HN comment. The author started doing this after moving to NYC, just hosting a cocktail party every month or so and inviting interesting people that he'd met. I haven't tried it yet, but it seems to cover all the classic hosting missteps and pains that I've experienced in the few get-togethers I'd previously hosted:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32879851

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#666

Post by stevage »

wisemang wrote: post #647
stevage wrote: post #589

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow. This is so true. My social life has improved hugely in the last couple of years and it's almost all because of this. I host board game days. I organise a pub trivia team. I organise singalong nights. I host occasional parties. Soup nights. Zucchini parties. I set up a lot of group chats and keep them alive. I organise to visit my family. For a lot of events, I get a 5-10% attendance rate compared to the number o…

What’s a zucchini party

It's when you accidentally grow giant zucchinis so you need help eating them.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#667

Post by HansHamster »

neilk wrote: post #438

You have to be the one who creates things to do. Really, that’s it. You want to play D&D together, you host and DM. You want to just hang out, you reach out and propose what you’re doing. You want more purposeful and meaningful time, join a volunteer group you vibe with. Even if it’s meeting for coffee. You have to be the one who reaches out. You have to do it on a regular cadence. If, like me, you don’t have little…

> You have to be the one who reaches out.

But that's the whole issue. Who am I supposed to reach out to? The 2 people at work I occasionally talk to because they happen to sit in the same office as me?

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#668

Post by energy123 »

bherms wrote: post #91

All of the replies so far are suggesting ideas for an individual but seem to be missing the real crux of the matter... Yes, you'll be less lonely if you join a group, get out of your house, etc... But how do we actively incentivize that? Social media and whatnot have hundreds of thousands of people working around the clock to find ways to suck you in and monopolize your time. While "everyone should recognize the prob…

We invented Soma from Brave New World. No amount of individual action will overcome the primary cause. Getting rid of Soma is the only effective solution.

Even if you avoid Soma yourself, you will still face the negative effects of a society plagued by Soma.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#669

Post by keyserj »

I think there's a lot of good advice in these comments already, at least for individuals to think about for themselves.

I happen to have discovered a fantastic contra dancing community[1] in Chicago that could be great for some who are lonely. You have to chalk up the courage to go (if you aren't used to trying new things, or dancing), but everyone is extremely welcoming, the dancing is easy even for people "with two left feet", and the happiness going around is truly contagious.

I think it's a terrific place to find community. It's a social dance where you'll basically dance with everyone by the end of the evening. There's time before, in the middle (snack intermission), and at the end for striking some conversation. The dancing is every Monday so it's routine. The crowd (100-150 people on average) is diverse in many ways (at least in age, gender, income, interests) so you're bound to find people with commonalities that, using some of the other advice in these comments, you could try to hang out with outside of the dancing.

As far as getting people to feel like they can join, I'm not the expert, but I've had such a great experience that I'm happy to at least bring it up and "spread the good word".

For outside of Chicago: contra dancing is a bit niche, but a surprising amount of large-ish US cities have it. I think it's more popular (relatively) on the East coast. Can't speak for outside of the US.

[1] https://www.chicagobarndance.org/

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#670

Post by [deleted] »

carabiner wrote: post #659
marcus_holmes wrote: post #568

Earlier quoted context omitted.

American culture allows you folks to talk to each other, though. Growing up British means that I literally can't talk to a stranger unless I'm in a pub and have two pints inside me.

In America no one really drinks any more.

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