Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

Says who? Have you stepped out during a weekend in a US metro city? To popular nightspots? No app needed to meet and socialise with attractive people - strangers or an extended social circle. In fact some might even say it is like shooting fish in a barrel

Just make a move in real life

The problem with dating app is exactly what you mentioned: if you both know you're there to date or fool around there's no uncertainty, no tension.

You're missing out on the feeling on trying to pickup a beautiful girl and succeeding.

Besides, girls, unlike boys, compete mainly on looks. It's natural dating app will break the balance in favor women, and that's exactly what happens. Men have a tenth of the matches and are selected by women according to beauty standards instead of being evaluated by their behaviour, providing a terrible filter for dating. If in person you had a chance with some jokes and some confidence, you'll never pass the selection with that nose.

That's the real "Terminator" of today. It's not time-travelling killer robots (yet?). It's letting algorithms deciding the fate of humans. That's especially problematic if the developers of those algorithms don't even understand them (yes, I'm looking at you, neutral networks).

Tinder is one thing, but imagine some algorithm identifies you as a terrorist. E.g., via cameras at every airport. My favorite example is a couple that ordered a steam cooker and a backpack online. Some days later some federal agents knocked at their door. Apparently, these two items raise flags in their algorithms.

I feel we could go listing more things around social media and this post could go on forever. But I won't, because of the below.

Every person is acting in their own perceived self interest. Including me.

So for myself, because of many of the reasons you state, I largely gave up on FB. I think I am better off for it due to more meaningful real world interactions.

But then with a social group in the real world space do I need to continue adding friends all the time via HN? Not really. Cue Seinfeld "I'm sure you're a very nice person you seem to have a lot of potential, but we're just not hiring right now." Maybe I am doing myself a disservice by not "socially climbing" but honestly at some point, I can only do so much. I love the people I do, and I am content with that.

But - like the world in general - HN as a site has some amazing people. And what I glean from this site through "literature like" reading I feel benefits me.

And then, like you, I comment occasionally - in the vein of HN trying to make it a positive contribution - so as to try to return to someone else a similar benefit as I feel I have received. I try not to be trite. I try not to worry as to whether a comment is well received as long as I have tried to make a decent contribution. I don't always succeed of course, and maybe that's where the detriment sets in.

But - despite the evidence that social media is only good for pursuing deeper and more meaningful relationships - I don't feel I need to be a particular friend of yours to try add a thoughtful reply. It doesn't mean I love you any less however. Hell, maybe a meaningful relationship will develop of it's own natural accord as we both live on. But it's not my aim.

Have a great day, whether you celebrate Xmas or not.