You're hitting the wall soon and I see a lot of cats in your future hon. You've probably been riding the c@ck carousel in your twenties and you just woke up from your tinder marathon. you never that carreer you read about in feminist magazines. It's too late. Remember that nice guy you kept ignoring favoring the chads for a quick night stand ? You could be a happy mother right now, have that nice house in the suburbs you made fun of with your friends. You're fvcked.
‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
661–669 of 669 posts
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#662Not sure it would help her but I can confirm at least one thing: she has a good writing style. That's not a given and proves she doesn't have everything wrong as she sadly seems to think.
It's fake. I could write such stories all day long.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#663Yeah nice story but it's fake af sorry.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#664Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is hilarious anti-religion rhetoric, complete unwillingness to have evolution and religion in the same sentence. Twisting from how religion historically promotes community into the content of the religion itself. The content is irrelevant, what is important is the sense of community and bonding that religion has offered people for forever.
> what is important is the sense of community and bonding that religion has offered people for forever. Religion doesn't have anything unique to create community and bonding, other than large numbers. It's not any better at fostering that things over any other shared interest, and at it's worst causes significantly more damage to communities.
>It's not any better at fostering that things over any other shared interest
What is another shared interest that builds positive community bonds at or above the scale of religion.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#665Earlier quoted context omitted.
> what is important is the sense of community and bonding that religion has offered people for forever. Religion doesn't have anything unique to create community and bonding, other than large numbers. It's not any better at fostering that things over any other shared interest, and at it's worst causes significantly more damage to communities.
>It's not any better at fostering that things over any other shared interest What is another shared interest that builds positive community bonds at or above the scale of religion.
> What is another shared interest that builds positive community bonds at or above the scale of religion.
Procreation.
What religion at scale hasn't also done significant damage to communities.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#666It’s politically incorrect, but I feel like feminism has sold a massive lie to women like this. Admittedly much of what she describes could apply to either gender, but it’s women who are hit hardest by fading looks and declining fertility. It used to be accepted cultural knowledge that if a woman desired marriage and children, she should probably spend her ‘best years’ looking for and committing to a husband. Now you…
It is so true. A woman thinking about her declining fertility for the first time in the age of 35? This only happens in modern western countries, where feminism has convinced women: "do not marry early", "explore your feelings", "meet new people", "have a career", "children and family oppress you" and so on. Of course, such things were unheard of some decades ago, and still are in many parts of the world, where women…
> I am sorry, but of course there is no hope of a normal family for a woman of this age.
You could adopt, coparent, or marry a spouse who already has kids.
None of those things are "well, duh"; they have their own challenges and tradeoffs, but so does starting a family when you're young. There are many, many other options, especially as a first-worlder, and many kids that could benefit from another parent, or that could benefit from any parent.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#667Earlier quoted context omitted.
Exactly, while the ease and likelihood of "having it all" are likely oversold, and an argument for ensuring that kids realize that adults don't get a trophy just for showing up is worth having, pretending that people can't start a family in there 30s from no current relationship (especially if they're willing to make it a focus) is ridiculous.
I agree that radiator is wrong to say “no hope”. You’d only need to find one example of a couple who met and had kids after 35 to disprove that, and I’m sure there are plenty. But I think both you and the parent commenter are deliberately missing the point. The amount of “hope” is severely diminished, and it gets smaller every day. The woman is faced with the task of finding a guy who wants kids as much (and as quick…
I said this upthread, but at the risk of being repetitive: the possibility of adoption addresses many of those concerns.
There are tradeoffs (nontraditional family dynamics with kids being raised by older parents, hassles with the adoption system itself, etc.), but a) you could consider those tradeoffs to be in exchange for the benefit of spending the first parts of your life doing other things, and b) the benefits to adopted kids are often truly huge.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#668If anybody empathizes with the post, what helped me was volunteering. Helping others and working with a group to help others gives me a lot of appreciation for all the little things that I have. Also, going out of my way to make someone else smile helps me stay happy. Compliments are a great way to start, I was inspired by a cool article about giving the perfect compliment - https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a627…
Wow. That article is from 2009, and it really shows. Giving random compliments to strangers in 2018 is just a really bad idea. Doubly so in any kind of professional environment. Save it for your mate or your dog.
Why?
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#669Wow, so much HN hate for Polly? It's my opinion that Polly is a national treasure. Her shameless wit and sense of humor make me smile. Her profound love of humanity makes me deeply happy. Not only that, but her writing is so poetic and lovely. Truly a gem. On the topic of this question/answer, I assume most of you are young? Or at least younger than I am. I can tell you now that the way you feel now will not last. Ch…
I get the sense that there's a lot of embittered-male, "rubbing it in" type comments in this thread. Mixed-gender communities seem to have much more balanced and meaningful discussions for these kinds of topics: https://www.metafilter.com/171539/I-did-everything-you-said-...
MetaFilter has its own problems. One common trope there is the angry, lonely person in their 30s-50s who paints the isolated life as beautiful and meaningful in order to feel better about themselves and possibly lure others into it. You see this the more you know the stories behind the usernames. The writing there is very nice at times, and I love that the small IRL communities have formed, but the discussion here is more honest and the advice is better.