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The death of partying in the USA

derekthompson.org

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Re: The death of partying in the USA

#631

Post by derwiki »

taeric wrote: post #308
parpfish wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Im convinced that car seat rules have played a big role in shaping child socialization. When was a kid, you were done with your car seat by elementary school so one parent could offer to carpool a minivan full of kids to/from an event. But now that some kids need their car seat into middle school carpools are gone and every kid needs their parent to pick them up. It requires way more planning and parental involvement

I definitely feel a bit lucky that my kids were big enough to be out of car seats by elementary school, already. That said, I thought most were out of needing car seats by the second or third grade? I'm surprised to hear it is at all common for kids to still be in seats all the way to middle school. I also can't offer much of a defense of car seats. Obviously, go for safety; but it does feel that people are chasing a…

School buses have inertia on their side

Also, as an SF parent: I drool over the idea of school buses—prop 13 has basically eliminated them

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#632

Post by Auracle »

defrost wrote: post #606
treis wrote: post #605

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Per pupil spending adjusted for inflation is up significantly since 1960s.

That's total into the system divided by number of students though. Is there any measure of how much of that reaches pupils and improves their education versus the amount sucked up by middle layers, consultants, prestige buildings, etc? It might be similar to the US health spend .. high per capita spend, low outcomes per citizens (compared to, say, Australia) .. with a rich middle layer of providers, insurers, etc.

It's more like its being sucked up by special education, ESL, etc.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#633

Post by lurk2 »

paulryanrogers wrote: post #613
lurk2 wrote: post #543

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People deep cleaned their houses for parties long before social media and smartphones came along.

Only if they were rich or OCD. Plenty of parties were thrown with little prep when there weren't insta/tok/snaps showing off perfection 24/7.

> Only if they were rich or OCD

Incorrect.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#634

Post by keiferski »

floren wrote: post #573
phendrenad2 wrote: post #142

People are introverted and have no social skills thanks to smartphones. People have no shared interests in general, because there are so many niches. People have low self-esteem and body image issues. People are afraid that they'll get drunk and their behavior will be filmed and go viral. Previously available "soft" party drugs are too dangerous. People have no place to host a party, because they're all renters (not…

> People have no place to host a party, because they're all renters I've seen this repeated in several comments and I just don't get it -- renting a place, be it a college apartment or a full house as an adult, has never stopped me from throwing a party. Maybe if there was a "no parties" rule in the lease (which I've never seen, and I've rented at least a dozen different places) and the landlord lived in the building…

Yeah, pretty much every college town is full of renters throwing parties. One consequence of that is how student-aimed housing tends to be lower quality.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#635

Post by PeterStuer »

1shooner wrote: post #388
germinalphrase wrote: post #364

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was a HS teacher for about a decade. The demands on kids and families around youth sports (especially private/club leagues) is out of control. I had students, 14/15-years-old, going to their school team practice then club team practice, not getting home until past 9 pm every night. Families from three states away would enroll their kids in my school half of the year to play on the hockey team (staying with local sp…

>The demands on kids and families I'd like to understand this more. Families like this that I know talk about it as though it's as unavoidable as their mortgage, but functionally isn't this entirely self-imposed? Is it a lack of vision for an alternative? Are whole families succumbing to peer pressure? I don't relate to it.

I noticed a lot of (upper-middleclass) parents (moms) fear that any none organized activity results 100% in their kid sitting on their phone/computer (they are not wrong on this point).

Rather than restricting screen time, admittedly not an easy battle (stating how it is, not how it should be), they outsource/circumvent that through organized activity.

Then there is the "competitive" nature. Can't have our kid just goofing around, (and I know the next bit is a bit exagerated and sarcastic, but often not untrue), I need the wins for my fantastic parent Facebook posts.

Lastly, non organized means unsupervised. Parents, I think especially in the US, are (thaught to) regard the world as a dangerzone for kids. Hanging around without oversight or protection, it is just time before they will surely get abducted, mugged, raped or murdered. Is this pure paranoia, or a media fueled self fulfilling prophecy? Can you blame parents for being overly protective for their (often only) child?

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#636

Post by rubzah »

scotty79 wrote: post #581
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #249

This was a post on the GenX subreddit (from a Gen Zer) from just a couple days ago asking about if parties as portrayed in late 90s/early 00s "teen movies" were actually a real thing: https://www.reddit.com/r/GenX/comments/1lu102v/were_parties_... The responses from the Gen Xers were a mix of bewilderment and sadness, stuff like "What do you mean parties like this, it's just a normal teenage party!? I feel so ancient…

I never saw the point of those. People, alcohol, what's fun about any of that? Tripping over your own legs with a bunch of similarly incapable humans while drowning in noise and fine particulates is toddler level fun. But with potential of acquiring adult level damage.

It was always mostly people trying to recreate what they had seen in movies a party should be.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#637

Post by Klonoar »

foobarian wrote: post #206
jppope wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Totally valid observation, but things definitely changed. Neighbors don't know each other as well, so the grandma keeping an eye out the back window doesn't exist anymore. It was a village watching the kids before, its not that way now.

Is it because of less churchgoing? Church is basically one large standup (and sit down, and stand up, x a few times :-) ) for the community. Or maybe kidnapping paranoia fueled by years of crime news programs?

I dunno about you but I grew up Irish Catholic, had parents who very much lived by "GTFO and come back at dinner", and I never made any real friendships or relationships via church. It was a wholly useless avenue for anything - and this was in several different church communities over the years, too.

IME while church might be a community, it's really a very stifled one.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#638

Post by sjducb »

fathomdeez wrote: post #490
98codes wrote: post #406

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good insights -- people now have to have their party look good for their social feeds: insta, tiktok, whatever. I'm forever thankful that I never had to even think about that, and even if people were taking pictures, nobody gave a damn about the background.

I go through this with my wife for every party we throw. She wants the house cleaned, table set, food spread ready, seasonal cocktails mixed, furniture moved around, decorations just so, etc. I’m like here’s a giant thing of ice cold booze have fun.

Cleaning your house before a party is a reasonable ask.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#639

Post by atonse »

hnpolicestate wrote: post #96
atonse wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you claiming that they’re already well to do (by American standards) when they arrive? I can’t count a single immigrant in my network that was rich by American standards (which makes them filthy rich by most other nations standards) and then chose to move here. Sure my sample size is probably 30 families (across a dozen countries) but that’s not nothing. Every single one built their net worth here. Meaning that o…

I promise I'm not gaslighting you. The majority of individuals buying residential real estate where I'm located are new arrivals or 1st generation. The Chinese circumstance is bizarre and has been going on for over 10-15 years. So they all use Chinese banks right? The rumor for years is that the Chinese government funnels the financing somehow to new arrivals to buy up real estate. They used to go up and down Brookly…

Oh yes we have that too in the DC area. Especially from China.

It made it extremely difficult for us to buy our house because we kept losing out to all cash offers from China, and that was 10 years ago.

My point was meant more that I also knew tons of immigrants that made their money here with the same opportunities available to locals, and not some unfair advantage.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#640

Post by aiiizzz »

I wouldn't ever endorse drinking, let alone underage drinking, and parties don't sound fun without drinking. Therefore, no parties. What's needed is a new class of drugs, something healthier and legal, that make people sociable like drinking does.
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