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Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever

bbc.co.uk

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Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever

#621

Post by steelframe »

EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK wrote: post #478
washadjeffmad wrote: post #406

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I went through this not that many years ago buying a ring for my SO. My biggest mistake was including her in the decision. She described what she wanted exactly– nothing gaudy or ostentatious, just a singular, tasteful stone on a plain band. Couldn't be simpler, could it? Finding stones that met her criteria was easy. Some were natural diamonds, some lab grown, many moissanite. From the outset, she said the meaning o…

Look at it as a proof of work. What matters is you burned a certain chunk of your life for her.

It's proof of capability. Sort of like peacock feathers. "Look, I can carry around this obscene tail and still not get eaten! How's them genetics?"

For humans, it's, "I have excess resources I can afford to burn according to the socially-accepted ritual or test, so when you bear my offspring, you can be sure I will also have excess capacity to provide for both you and your offspring."

A female may have second thoughts about choosing you as a mate if you appear to cheat at the test or don't do the test right.

Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever

#622

Post by Cd00d »

globular-toast wrote: post #512
dijit wrote: post #345

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Jarring worldview to hold. Buying rings isn't the problem- you stated "the value of a ring is how much a man is willing to pay for access to sex". Without a further breakdown of why you think that's a reasonable statement to make it just sounds weirdly myopic. People pay more because of status "I am a good provider and I can prove it", or because the woman wants to feel valued. It doesn't go back to sex, not for a lo…

There is a name for a relationship that begins without sex. It's called a business partnership and I can assure you they don't involve diamond rings. Give me one reason why a man would enter a sexless marriage.

I think it's unfortunate for you that you view any relationship devoid of sex as a business transaction.

Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever

#623

Post by cwkoss »

cyberpunk wrote: post #3

Married members of HN, what did you do if you think diamonds are utterly ridiclious however due to societal constraints some kind of ring is required for your SO?

Had a good experience through diamond nexus - was able to get a custom designed synthetic for a good price.

Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever

#624

Post by ASalazarMX »

nickik wrote: post #610
Frost1x wrote: post #454

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I don't know what kind of spell the diamond people cast on otherwise reasonable women to make them able to reduce the totality of a life and experiences shared together into a single crystalline bet, but they need to package it and sell it to the military. The militaries of the world invented it, it's business that bought it. Much of this diamond/marriage symbolism stems back to the late 1940s post WWII with DaBeer'…

This is partly a myth. More important was the non legal enforcement of engagements. Many couples in the past would start to have sex when engaged. If the engagement is not legally secure, the diamond basically serves as signal. That why 3-month salary make sense. If I buy a 3-month salary worth diamond I'm probably not gone leave you after a month. Its an easily portable high value item that also serves as signaling…

> Its an easily portable high value item that also serves as signaling for the person wearing it. It makes more sense then livestock in the modern world.

Jewelry is not a great value store, unless you're fine with selling it at a significant loss. Diamonds specially, unless they're rare, seem to magically lose a lot of its value as soon as they print your receipt.

To be honest, I find the whole love-engagement-sex-wedding handling retrograde and inappropriate for the current times.

Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever

#625

Post by jokethrowaway »

ipaddr wrote: post #295
offtop5 wrote: post #215

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It also factors into how someone grew up. I'd rather toss 10k into a couple emergency fund then waste it on a ring. Most marriages collapse due to money. I recall in my younger days I was with a girl and she dragged me to Brooks Brothers. As a child of poverty and evictions I couldn't understand why anyone who need to spend this much money on a shirt. Even making well into the 6 figures I shop at Old Navy. Hell, my f…

People buy expensive clothes because it makes others think they have money. By wearing a brand she is mentally leaving the proviety behind. I don't think you have mentally left that state of mind. Thinking you need $10,000 in cash and telling everyone on the first date tells them this guy will never save more than 10,000 and he is cheap with his money. Might work for some but perhaps you are putting out a negative si…

I agree it wouldn't be a good signal for most women early on.

I remember, a few months in a relationship, lightly making fun of some of her "cheap" behaviours (which I really appreciated) and her getting very offended. At that point I realised I never communicated I was a massive cheapskate and I asked her if she thought she was more frugal than me. It turns out she thought so!

I think I definitely proved I won the frugality contest, but I learnt over time to mask this to appear more interesting and charming.

Money is not the only resource that count and that's worthy of optimising for; time and reputation are important as well.

Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever

#627

Post by wahern »

nickik wrote: post #610
Frost1x wrote: post #454

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I don't know what kind of spell the diamond people cast on otherwise reasonable women to make them able to reduce the totality of a life and experiences shared together into a single crystalline bet, but they need to package it and sell it to the military. The militaries of the world invented it, it's business that bought it. Much of this diamond/marriage symbolism stems back to the late 1940s post WWII with DaBeer'…

This is partly a myth. More important was the non legal enforcement of engagements. Many couples in the past would start to have sex when engaged. If the engagement is not legally secure, the diamond basically serves as signal. That why 3-month salary make sense. If I buy a 3-month salary worth diamond I'm probably not gone leave you after a month. Its an easily portable high value item that also serves as signaling…

To the incredulous: the argument is that expensive engagement rings helped fill the cultural gaps left by the repeal of Breach of Promise to Marry laws. The supporting evidence is an apparently strong geographic correlation between repeal of these laws and increases in high-value diamond engagement rings, the latter beginning after the start of the repeal movement yet before the infamous De Beers marketing campaigns.

For the overview: https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/04/the-str...

The original research paper: Margaret F. Brinig, Journal of Law, Economics, & Organization Vol. 6, No. 1 (Spring, 1990), pp. 203-215 (13 pages), https://www.jstor.org/stable/764797

Wikipedia page on Breach of Promise to Marry: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breach_of_promise

Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever

#628

Post by AtlasBarfed »

astura wrote: post #307
lotsofpulp wrote: post #253

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's the opposite in my opinion. The richer the social circle, the less people care about stuff like diamonds or 2 months salary (which I never even heard of outside of online discussions). A diamond ring is barely a notable expense for a dual six figure earning couple.

>(which I never even heard of outside of online discussions). Here's some ads from the 1980s advocating for two months salary - https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/media/images/74843000/jpg/... http://cdn.cavemancircus.com//wp-content/uploads/2020/08/dia... https://yourdiamondteacher.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/De...

I saw some ads for three recently.

Oh, they are being sneaky and getting into news too:

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/02/13/why-you-dont-need-to-spend-t....

Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever

#629

Post by xeromal »

Dylan16807 wrote: post #574
EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK wrote: post #478

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Look at it as a proof of work. What matters is you burned a certain chunk of your life for her.

That makes it worse.

Not really. If that's what that person values and you want that person, that's what you're gonna have to do. Being a relationship means doing things you don't agree with sometimes.

Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever

#630

Post by xeromal »

pvarangot wrote: post #606
bevesce- wrote: post #566

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is this an American thing? I'm polish and this whole discussion is just mind boggling. I don't know anybody who would had such high (monetary wise) demands

It's more of a white people that watch movies thing I think. So yeah mostly American but you see pockets of it on different cultures, one of the common threads that I find is that people that like this also like their houses to look as if they were designed for the set of a romantic comedy.

Nah, there's rings from my ancestors that predates movies and we're from appalachia. It ain't much but an expensive valuable is a tradition that predates movies by a mile
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