Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm pretty sure the world was at least as terrible at any given point in the past, we were just much less informed/aware of it thanks to the lack of Internet like mass-communication.
It was far worse. Imagine having kids when they could get polio. Or taken from you and sold as slaves. Or conscripted and sent to war.
Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?
611–620 of 1001 posts
Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?
#612You're baffled people aren't having kids? What bubble do you live in? People straight up can't afford housing much less children. The avg American is completely priced out of owning a home right now. Edit: the replies - y'all are out of touch. Visit an average family in the Midwest with a household income of < $100k/yr that doesn't own a home yet.
My parents had three kids while living on a single salary that put us below into the poverty line for the first half of my childhood. I had a very happy childhood. Everything I had (even my underwear!) was a handmedown. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s possible. It’s a matter of priorities. I’m glad my parents made the hard choices they did.
Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?
#613The vibe in this thread is so hostile, and the most vociferous posts are from the pro-children side of the debate. I have no deeper comment to make here, I just find it a little shocking how aggressive half the posts are.
I didn't find any amount of "so hostile" comments. I think what makes the vibe hostile it that this is the sound of social cohesion tearing apart and there is the implied worry that "it might get hostile" unless things are fixed. But that is not the same thing as hostile. It is discussing a problem.
Accusation of being inhuman:
> The - natural - way - of - being - a - human!!! (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39343369)
> Biological organisms not procreating despite living in material and caloric abundance is cosmically weird. (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39341358) (less hostile, still a swipe)
Attack on one's validity as a member of society:
> Whenever I encounter this attitude I like to remind that person that they should have no voice, whatsoever, in what happens in government and politics anymore (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39342079)
> but don’t expect the rest of us to give much credence to his opinions since he very well doesn’t care about our society. (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39342977)
Implication of social malignancy:
> that makes you a sort of parasite (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39342021)
> It's fucking weird. [...] I'm guessing they are just hitting up sex workers. (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39341263)
Implication that one's chosen lifestyle is inferior:
> People are just too selfish and think of kids as costing lattes and ruining their free time (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39342822)
> Kids aren't expensive. They're a distraction from dopamine and career advancement. [...] they'd rather jet set than settle down. [...] Instagram and the endless feed of social media, internet, and things to do. [...] Nobody I know wants to give that up. (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39341734) (this one is not hostile, but it's still in put-down territory)
Whether one views these as hostile can perhaps be a matter of perspective, but these posts do not invite cordial, level-headed debate.
Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?
#614Anecdata: I am 31 and have 3 young kids. They have 0 cousins and, on top of that, 0... second cousins? Cousins-once-removed? Whatever the one is for my cousin's kids. My kids are my grandma's only great-grandkids. And I have... 6 cousins. On top of that, at my last job, on my team of 15, I was the only one with kids, and only 1 of those 15 engineers were under the age of 30. At my current job, my team is 8, and again…
Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?
#615Anecdata: I am 31 and have 3 young kids. They have 0 cousins and, on top of that, 0... second cousins? Cousins-once-removed? Whatever the one is for my cousin's kids. My kids are my grandma's only great-grandkids. And I have... 6 cousins. On top of that, at my last job, on my team of 15, I was the only one with kids, and only 1 of those 15 engineers were under the age of 30. At my current job, my team is 8, and again…
My own experiences of being in my early 30s, born and raised on Long Island and now living in Boston, my circle of friends, relatives, and coworkers from both areas are having kids all over the place.
When my wife first became pregnant last year, it was actually a bit difficult finding openings with OBGYN offices in the general Boston area.
Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?
#616You're baffled people aren't having kids? What bubble do you live in? People straight up can't afford housing much less children. The avg American is completely priced out of owning a home right now. Edit: the replies - y'all are out of touch. Visit an average family in the Midwest with a household income of < $100k/yr that doesn't own a home yet.
Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?
#617You're baffled people aren't having kids? What bubble do you live in? People straight up can't afford housing much less children. The avg American is completely priced out of owning a home right now. Edit: the replies - y'all are out of touch. Visit an average family in the Midwest with a household income of < $100k/yr that doesn't own a home yet.
Yes they can. People are just too selfish and think of kids as costing lattes and ruining their free time. Believe it or not, kids don't have to be expensive as reports have you believe. They can go to public school, wear hand me downs or walmart clothes, and eat what would have been leftovers. Most coworkers with kids I've spoken with complain about costs of daycare, babysitting, and Montessori schools. We pay for n…
Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?
#618Anecdata: I am 31 and have 3 young kids. They have 0 cousins and, on top of that, 0... second cousins? Cousins-once-removed? Whatever the one is for my cousin's kids. My kids are my grandma's only great-grandkids. And I have... 6 cousins. On top of that, at my last job, on my team of 15, I was the only one with kids, and only 1 of those 15 engineers were under the age of 30. At my current job, my team is 8, and again…
All us over-30s with kids probaly random-walked into jobs that are family-friendly and are staying there . In my current team, almost half the people - and importantly, the previous and current manager - have kids, usually more than one. Can't speak for the corporation we merged into, but before the merger, the whole mid-sized company cleraly leaned for average age closer to 35-40, and a good chunk of employees at ev…
Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?
#619The vibe in this thread is so hostile, and the most vociferous posts are from the pro-children side of the debate. I have no deeper comment to make here, I just find it a little shocking how aggressive half the posts are.
I didn't find any amount of "so hostile" comments. I think what makes the vibe hostile it that this is the sound of social cohesion tearing apart and there is the implied worry that "it might get hostile" unless things are fixed. But that is not the same thing as hostile. It is discussing a problem.
Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?
#620Lots of people here write about the number of cousins, but those are often of a different age, it was the same with my two cousins. Also missing from the article: Kids being pushed into extra-curricula after school, be it soccer or music, those might not necessarily lead to friendships? Lastly, our environment has changed a lot. It's just not safe to let kids run wild outside with all those cars. The number of kids killed by cars didn't sink over the past 40 years because cars got safe, it sunk because kids get basically locked in. In my city (in Austria) we have quite a lot of older and newer building complexes where cars are kept outside, those are much better for kids.