Never understood diamonds. Practically in the real world, how would you know the difference between a diamond and a simply piece of glass or the cheapest possible fake diamond?
Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever
611–620 of 686 posts
Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever
#612Married members of HN, what did you do if you think diamonds are utterly ridiclious however due to societal constraints some kind of ring is required for your SO?
Just bought it and moved on. I'm happy that she's happy. I couldn't care less.
"Just used the slaves; I couldn't care less." - I hope such general attitude will change as soon as possible...
Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever
#613I'm at the marriage age right now and I see tons of my friends getting married. A friend got proposed a couple of months ago and her ring is ~40k USD. In my opinion, that's crazy since they're spending ~30k CAD on their wedding. My partner also mentioned that she'd like a wedding ring of the same calibre since according to her - diamond ring is how much love / value / worth I hold for her. Furthermore, a significant…
Don't want to get too personal but why not date in a different circle?
Almost no matter how financially well off you are, why have $40K on your finger. Not worth the danger (unless maybe you are $100m+, have 24/7 security, rich).
Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever
#614Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don’t see what’s so hard to understand. The entire point of buying a ring is that you’re showing her how much you care by spending a bunch of money on something special. Instead, you decided to save money and get something that’s not as special, and that hurt her feelings.
You conveniently left out the part where they discussed it and she said that it didn't need to be 'natural'. There's nothing wrong with wanting a 'natural' diamond. But to mislead your partner as part of some sick test, and then make them feel like dirt for not having passed?
> But to mislead your partner as part of some sick test, and then make them feel like dirt for not having passed?
Women do this all the time. I agree it’s not a good behavior.
Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever
#615Earlier quoted context omitted.
Is this a book or a set of books or a study? Could you please tell me who is the author?
These were the most common before no-fault divorce became the common cause so they used to come from court filings. In these days, some of them come from marriage counseling statistics undertaken during divorce (some states require it before disolving a marriage). There is some specific research from small N groups where N=52 for example ( https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4012696/ )
Oh! Money, Children and Infidelity are factors, instead of studies or a book. I think I was confused because the words were capitalized.
Thanks for the link as well, I found it interesting. :-)
Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever
#616Earlier quoted context omitted.
I went through this not that many years ago buying a ring for my SO. My biggest mistake was including her in the decision. She described what she wanted exactly– nothing gaudy or ostentatious, just a singular, tasteful stone on a plain band. Couldn't be simpler, could it? Finding stones that met her criteria was easy. Some were natural diamonds, some lab grown, many moissanite. From the outset, she said the meaning o…
When looking for a mate, animals often engage in so called "irrational" behavior to signal to the other party of their readiness and seriousness for mating. This is how, for example, peacocks get their ridiculous plumage. And thus, when somebody "irrationally" buys a "worthless" ring for a hefty amount, it signals to some extent that one is serious, committed and financially capable of the proposed marriage. It's oft…
I wanted to say you've committed the naturalistic fallacy, but actually, you've also misrepresented the meaning of mating behaviors in essential ways and made a few tacit and unwarranted jumps in between.
Humans are rational animals. Yes, obviously we have natural inclinations (they aren't irrational, btw; they have a purpose and only when the inclination is disordered, deficient, excessive, or we behave in ways opposed to the good when moved by the inclination can we speak of irrationality). However, we can make errors in judgement when interpreting signs and relating these signs to our inclinations. Marketing is often actively engaged in confusing people when it comes to what things mean. And when we get the meanings of signs wrong, we relate things erroneously to our natural inclinations. So this very recent practice of buying extravagant diamond rings beyond our means is the product of psychological manipulation and deceit that exploits vice and inclination by effectively lying about what an overpriced diamond ring signals.
It would be an error to assume that a woman from a culture that values thrift would react positively to such a gift, much less demand it. She might be left thinking that the man is financially irresponsible. Most cultures do not make spending obscene amounts of money on a ring a common practice. The engagement ring has historically been a symbolic gesture, not a demonstration of irresponsibility, immodesty, profligacy, and vanity.
In the case of peacocks, they ARE their plumage. Their plumage is not a sign of seriousness, but a sign of fitness and health and shaped by inherent traits and female selection (her interpretation or recognition that the better the plumage, the better the health), not male initiative. The peacock also isn't willing his plumage.
You can just as easily construe the ring as a test of your potential wife's character. If she refuses to marry you because you haven't spent a fourth or more of your salary on a ring, then good riddance. Who wants to be saddled with a fraudulent, vain, and vapid creature like that. She would make a terrible mother.
Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever
#617Earlier quoted context omitted.
I brought my now-spouse along for ring shopping, on her own theory that she'd be wearing the thing and should therefore have some input. She was actually more opposed to mined diamonds than I was at the time. We talked about this extensively, and considered both lab gems and corundum gems (ruby/sapphire). We went through over a dozen jewelry stores, each of them pushing mined diamonds so hard that it angered us. The…
>While the ring contains a mined diamond, it has quite a bit of sentimental value If I said it once, I have said it a million times, if your SO insists on a diamond from the ground as opposed to a lab, say fine, but I am getting my shots flying to Africa and will mine it myself. It won't matter if you bring back a opaque brown rock, with 0 marketing your SO would wear it with pride and most others would be jealous wh…
for most people what you describe is even more expensive and impractical than buying a mined diamond
Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever
#618Earlier quoted context omitted.
I never understood the idea behind a wedding ring being an "investment". It's not like you plan on ever selling it. It's purely an expense. If you wont sell it, then a ring's value is only in its aesthetic and any sentiment attached to it by the wearer - neither of which seem to be strongly related to the initial purchasing price. Of course, people often sell their rings if they get divorced... but wouldn't that make…
The gesture, is that the man is willing to spend that much money, and because of that, is serious about the woman, sort of like a purchase. Its not an investment in the sense of producing or keeping value. Of course, times are very different now, and it is quite an antiquated idea.
So like an escrow for a marriage proposal... except it's held by the person to which the offer is made and is never closed out if the offer is accepted. I still can't say I get it.
Rings I get. They are a symbol of commitment, a sentimental memento, and just a nice accessory. But the idea that the cost to purchase the ring is somehow a reflection of that is still silly to me.
Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever
#619Earlier quoted context omitted.
I’m worried that it takes a certain amount of poverty/desperation in the local workforce to be exploited heinously. For them, an exploitative job is probably the difference between eating a little or not eating at all. Yes, it’s good that they won’t be exploited once the mined diamond industry goes away, but I think they’re still getting the rug pulled out from under them. Their income is replaced with nothing, and i…
There's a very strong chance I am completely wrong about this but my feeling on the matter is as follows. As long as mined diamonds are profitable there is a strong incentive for criminal interests to hinder any attempts to improve the lot of the local inhabitants so they have a continued supply of very cheap labour. If you make diamond mining unprofitable then the criminal elements move on to other more profitable e…
I agree with you. I think it will all work out for the better. I just think the path between exploitation and greener pastures may be a rough one if there is no support structure to keep people from getting desperate once they are jobless. It’s hard to look to the future when you’re worried about putting food on the table tonight. It’s a good thing that this is happening, but I sympathize with the people affected because it might get worse before it gets better. I hope they can keep their chins up and see that there is a huge light at the end of the tunnel.
Re: Pandora says laboratory-made diamonds are forever
#620Earlier quoted context omitted.
I brought my now-spouse along for ring shopping, on her own theory that she'd be wearing the thing and should therefore have some input. She was actually more opposed to mined diamonds than I was at the time. We talked about this extensively, and considered both lab gems and corundum gems (ruby/sapphire). We went through over a dozen jewelry stores, each of them pushing mined diamonds so hard that it angered us. The…
>While the ring contains a mined diamond, it has quite a bit of sentimental value If I said it once, I have said it a million times, if your SO insists on a diamond from the ground as opposed to a lab, say fine, but I am getting my shots flying to Africa and will mine it myself. It won't matter if you bring back a opaque brown rock, with 0 marketing your SO would wear it with pride and most others would be jealous wh…
> but I am getting my shots flying to Africa and will mine it myself. It won't matter if you bring back a opaque brown rock, with 0 marketing your SO would wear it with pride and most others would be jealous when they hear the story behind it.
That's a great idea, but I don't know of any place you could do that in real life. Diamonds can be very valuable depending on size, color, clarity etc. Diamond mines have heavy security around their miners to ensure a tiny little diamond doesn't go missing.
There is zero chance they'd let a tourist in.
Someone I know smuggled a diamond purchased in South Africa for their spouse and the diamond and story behind that were both well appreciated.