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Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

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Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#611

Post by ehnto »

keiferski wrote: post #583
nstart wrote: post #575

From my father: No matter how correct you are, you won't get anywhere by making the other person feel stupid. He gave me this after we went together to a conference on communication and I found the presenter to be making some rather doubtful statements. I asked questions and tried to break the presenter in the QnA session and when I didn't get what I wanted, I left. I was 15 at the time. So, I forgive myself but stil…

Nick Carraway, is that you? In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. "Whenever you feel like criticizing any one," he told me, " just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had."

Along the same lines: Just because someone doesn't know something, doesn't mean they know nothing.

We all come across information in different orders at different times. If you jump to the conclusion that someone is not worth your time because they didn't know something you know, then you might not engage with an otherwise good person.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#612

Post by aetherspawn »

erulabs wrote: post #439
teraflop wrote: post #170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Dude, sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something." -- Jake the Dog

Oh Adventure Time - has such a special place in my heart. If it does for you too - I could not more highly recommend Pendleton Ward's latest project The Midnight Gospel. "How did you almost know my name?" "I have approximate knowledge of many things, child..."

"I have approximate knowledge of many things" - is my favorite quote ever, because it accurately describes my job role as a systems integration engineer.

So when my role says electrical and I teach people about cooling, hydraulics, human factors and user experience, some people raise questions and I generally debuff with a paraphrase of this line.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#613

Post by c-oreills »

adamredwoods wrote: post #538

Seek content-ness, not happiness. Happiness comes later. In my early-twenties, I kept thinking that I always wanted happiness, and if I wasn't then something was wrong. I later realized that it was the pursuit of something that I could never attain that was draining and I realized that was the wrong path. I cannot attain perfection. So I decided to look for a better life-path that I could sustain, feel comfortable, a…

Your last paragraph reminds me of this research on more advertising leading to less contentedness: https://hbr.org/2020/01/advertising-makes-us-unhappy

Showing us what we don't have makes us question and think less of ourselves. It's the same mechanism that can lead to lower mood after seeing everyone's carefully curated lives on social media. Everyone around me is happy all the time, why aren't I?

Once you're concious of that bias, it becomes a bit easier to weather, but also uncomfortable in a different way. Personally, we want to share pics of our baby smiling with our friends, but will that make them feel worse when their baby cries for hours? We've been sharing experiences more openly with new parent friends so they understand it's not all rainbows all the time, and have been grateful for others who have done the same to us and reassured us that everyone's taking the bad with the good.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#614

Post by kieckerjan »

adamredwoods wrote: post #538

Seek content-ness, not happiness. Happiness comes later. In my early-twenties, I kept thinking that I always wanted happiness, and if I wasn't then something was wrong. I later realized that it was the pursuit of something that I could never attain that was draining and I realized that was the wrong path. I cannot attain perfection. So I decided to look for a better life-path that I could sustain, feel comfortable, a…

Happiness is haphazard, something you snatch from the maws of life now and then, mostly by accident.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#616

Post by jimmySixDOF »

pusiko wrote: post #564
devin wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I was learning to play the game Go, someone told me that there's some old advice about "losing your first 100 games as quickly as possible". That's stuck with me. Another one is (and I don't even know if it's 100% true, but I don't much care) that a common housefly will change its path if it runs into a window more than twice. I strive to be better than a common house fly.

If at first you don't succeed, try two more times so that your failure is "statistically significant"

or: If at first you don't succeed, Sky Diving is not for you.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#620

Post by 317070 »

LouisSayers wrote: post #512

My Grandmother once told me: "If you want to work at a company, dress like the people that work there. Because those are the people that the company hires." I've used this general philosophy in my life to pass courses at university, win competitions, and get through job interviews. I don't know if my grandmother meant this in a literal sense, or was hinting at the fact that (as Tony Robbins says) success leaves clues…

Yes, for me it was also an epiphany that people weren't professional, they _acted_ professional. Suddenly a lot made sense! Careerwise, it can help to ask what a professional would do, as it is a solution that while it might not work, you will be commended for. And guess what, that behaviour is what makes you a professional!
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