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The day I accidentally killed a little boy

bbc.co.uk

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Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#611

Post by LordKano »

dsnuh wrote: post #492
LordKano wrote: post #341

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me, that happened when I became the father of two little girls. My radar is up whenever I am in public with my daughters. I notice if strangers look for too long in their direction or if I see someone hanging out where children are, without a child of their own. Occasionally, I'll spot another father like me. We'll lock eyes for a moment and it's clear that we recognize each other (for what we are, not necessaril…

>Occasionally, I'll spot another father like me. Can you expand? What type of father are you? Honestly, you'd do better to be more vigilant of bees and mosquitoes, both of which are much more likely to kill or harm your child than a stranger abducting them. Try not to worry so much. ;)

By "father like me", I mean one who is on the lookout for threats to his children.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#612

Post by LordKano »

CogitoCogito wrote: post #488
LordKano wrote: post #453

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Is that kind of paranoia productive? Especially considering we are at historically low crime rates. I balance the likelihood with the potential consequences when making my decision. For example, logically, I know that there's no danger of contracting anything from sitting on a public toilet seat but I still make a bird's nest when I have to poop in a public place. Intellectually, I know that the world is now statist…

Your first paragraph seems to directly contradict your second and third.

Extremely low likelihood versus maximum severity of consequence versus moderate likelihood with low severity of consequence.

I choose to guard spend more time being vigilant against the former.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#613

Post by quadrangle »

rasz wrote: post #596

>"In 2003 there was an accident at Santa Monica Farmers Market. An elderly man had ploughed into a group of people with his car and lots of people had been killed and injured. It was just carnage, it was a terrible scene. People were on the TV screaming that this 86-year-old man was a murderer" 86-year-old driver crashing into people IS murder, and not an accident. Lack of vision, pretty much no reflexes, cramps, ach…

manslaughter ≠ murder

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#614

Post by dsnuh »

LordKano wrote: post #611
dsnuh wrote: post #492

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Occasionally, I'll spot another father like me. Can you expand? What type of father are you? Honestly, you'd do better to be more vigilant of bees and mosquitoes, both of which are much more likely to kill or harm your child than a stranger abducting them. Try not to worry so much. ;)

By "father like me", I mean one who is on the lookout for threats to his children.

Do you feel most other fathers aren't?

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#615

Post by jopsen »

ptaipale wrote: post #531
CalRobert wrote: post #347

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Umm, pretty much. Sold my car, moved to Europe, commute by bike. I do rent a car now and then when it can't be avoided and in those scenarios I drive with extreme caution. The US has a 9/11 every month on the roads and almost nobody there gives a shit. I never understood it.

It's not at all a 9/11 because not very many of traffic accidents are intentional homicide.

Haven't you collectively decided to do nothing?

Besides the homicide rate is not far of a 9/11 every few months is it?

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#616

Post by cyberferret »

My parental nightmare story - Many years ago when my youngest son was about 2 (he is 14 now), we were on family holiday and had just checked in to our hotel room which was on the 6th floor of the complex.

Exhausted from the travelling, we all decided to take a nap on the huge king sized bed. To this day I don't know what it is, but something snapped me awake mid-nap, and I looked across to see that my younger son had woken up, got out of bed, ambled across to the window, climbed on the ledge, and had cranked the lever, and was pushing the window open.

I leapt out of bed, and crossed the distance to the window faster than Usain Bolt, and grabbed him a split second before he plummeted out. I discovered that the window was (a) unlocked, contrary to hotel policy, and (b) the little safety bracket that would have prevented the window opening more than about 6 inches, was missing.

I reported to the manager, and the moved us to another room immediately, with better window security & safety.

To this day, I sometimes snap awake in my sleep with my brain screaming "OMG - I have to get [younger son's name] away from the window". In a kind of reverse blame, I keep thinking what if I had just slept through?

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#617

Post by cyberferret »

cyberferret wrote: post #616

My parental nightmare story - Many years ago when my youngest son was about 2 (he is 14 now), we were on family holiday and had just checked in to our hotel room which was on the 6th floor of the complex. Exhausted from the travelling, we all decided to take a nap on the huge king sized bed. To this day I don't know what it is, but something snapped me awake mid-nap, and I looked across to see that my younger son had…

On another anecdote, similar to the OP story here - A good fried whom I used to play cricket with, had a sister, whose boyfriend was driving home one afternoon when a 3 year old boy chased a ball onto the road in front of his car, and was killed by the impact. He wasn't speeding or doing anything wrong. It was a pure accident. He was distraught about it and I believe, like the lady in the story, stopped driving for many years. I look back on the episode now and realise that I had no social cues as to how to approach him about it or offer him comfort in any way. I wonder how he is doing now - we lost touch and I have no idea where he is these days.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#618

Post by cmurf »

lsc wrote: post #375
treyfitty wrote: post #322

Ever since I became a father (2 months ago), I've been seeing the world as a dangerous and an ugly place. This is confounded with the fact that, a month ago, I came to find out that my brother was bullied in HS and was never the same. My brother has been out of high school for about 9 years now, but It took me 6 whole years to consider the possibility that something was wrong. I was in undergrad and focused on my stu…

I think that the lesson of the article is not that weirdos or strangers make the world a dangerous and ugly place, but that we, the regular people who vote for and move to areas with zoning densities that make public transit impractical, who commute long distances in cars, make the world a dangerous and ugly place. Every time we get into a car, we are choosing to take a risk not only with our own life, but with the l…

-s- This is America, where Uncle Bob can legally teach me how to drive, and you can keep your dang ugly government driver's ed schools and regulations outta my life. And I don't have to actually be that competent because insurance makes all wrongs right. -s-

It's seriously this stupid. There's no driving test after you're initially licensed, nor any recurrence training required. All you have to do in most states is pay a fee to get a license renewed, and you can do it online. They just want the money. Some states will want your vision retested, in my state that's only once every 10 years.

My elderly aunt could teach me how to drive, start to finish, exclusively. That's legal. Her view is that driving is a right, not a privilege. The government's role is only to prove that you're incompetent to hold a license, otherwise it's between you and your insurance company.

I don't see this worldview changing very soon. I'm not confident autonomous vehicles will take over any time soon, but whenever I think of the reality of car driver incompetency it makes me wish it could happen much sooner.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#619

Post by jopsen »

Steltek wrote: post #156
mattlondon wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

+1 This seems to be a common excuse from people in the US "Oh yeah - well - of course you could do in such a small place - the US is just too big for to happen!" I looked up some stats for the inevitable "But the US is bigger than that! We simply cannot solve this problem!" replies. The EU is pretty big too, but the fatality rate is half of that in the US despite being of comparable land-area. US road fatalities per…

Not to detract from your point but the US Federal government, shockingly, is incapable of passing necessary regulations and the Constitution forbids a State from passing their own versions. For instance, vehicle inspections, licensing standards, safety equipment, etc are all set at the Federal level. Cities can't forbid oversized trucking, require truck side guards, etc. Likewise, stupendous amounts of Federal and St…

The answer was: (1) speed limits, and (2) infrastructure

Are you saying local governments can't do those things?

When I look around San Francisco I see lots of space to build dedicated bike lanes, etc. In the Americans I see:

A) A lack of faith that anything can get better.

B) A willful disregard for other people (lack of empathy).

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#620

Post by jopsen »

orbitur wrote: post #401
mattlondon wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

+1 This seems to be a common excuse from people in the US "Oh yeah - well - of course you could do in such a small place - the US is just too big for to happen!" I looked up some stats for the inevitable "But the US is bigger than that! We simply cannot solve this problem!" replies. The EU is pretty big too, but the fatality rate is half of that in the US despite being of comparable land-area. US road fatalities per…

Have you spent any time living/driving in places like Houston or Atlanta or the suburbs of Chicago or Los Angeles? How about the bay area outside of SF? Because if you have, I can't imagine how you'd think it's a solvable problem. The US is too big... at least a lot of cities are, in terms of distance covered. EU benefits from population growth pre car-era. Density necessitates lower speeds and smaller roads, and goo…

> Density necessitates lower speeds and smaller roads, and good luck regulating US cities into that state.

Most European cities dream of having the same amount of road space US cities have.

Yet, many European cities build dedicated bike lanes... It takes serious political will-power to close of roads from cars.

It's lack of "will" do something, nothing more.

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