Earlier quoted context omitted.
JavaScript is actually an incredibly flexible and effective language.
Assembler is actually an incredibly flexible and effective language.
My question: IF we all (mostly) don't like JS, why don't we simply take Webkit or something and build-in our own (presumably) better language? Call it the "Hacker News Language for the Web" or something; the goal being to replace JS inside the browser. Naturally, we'd need a JS-to-HNL converter; but done properly, both front-end and back-end could be the same, and could be built on the 'natural' structures of The Web, 2020-style (and beyond!) (Maybe HNL is [a descendent of] ARC? Just riffing here...)
One more idea: If browsers would permit batches of signed and authenticated code to be made part of the browser semi-permanently (e.g. node.js, other JS/HNL libraries), then that would save the download time, speeding up sites. In fact, if the code were truly trusted, it could even be in assembly language(!!!! tie in, above) for some totally kick-ass performance. Assumes security issues properly solved.