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Do engineers really make better spouses?

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Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#61

Post by imgabe »

dagw wrote: post #23
jkot wrote: post #2

There is age bias. Engineer often change profession once he gets older.

Really? My family is full of 50+ year old engineers and I can't think of any engineers that I know that changed careers as they got older. Sure some of them may have taken on more management responsibilities as they got older, but non of them left engineering.

If you're thinking of only the 50+ engineers you know, of course those ones haven't changed careers. You'd have to think of some 50+ year old actors or chefs you know and find out if they used to be engineers.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#62

Post by Fuxy »

balabaster wrote: post #39
UnoriginalGuy wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> 2.Financial stability means that even if the woman is unhappy in the relationship she is more likely to stick around because it offers stability. There's so many assumptions made in that sentence... 1) Women care about money more than happiness 2) Engineers are awash with money 3) Women aren't engineers 4) Men are engineers.

Also... there's a huge assumption that more money equals less financial problems. One thing I've learned from the experience of my own finances is that the times in my life when I've been flat broke, I had less financial problems than in times when I've been flush with cash. The higher your income, the higher your debt load - and this is caused by easy access to credit, social conditioning to chasing the dream, climb…

I don't have a credit card for this exact reason. I get at least 5 invitations by mail every week but i don't really need it.

Spend the money you have not the money you can get.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#63

Post by bitL »

I think the main reason is the unpleasant fact that desirable women under 30 like to have fun with attractive men (men that create a lot of interest amongst younger women and can exchange them frequently), which from 90% excludes all engineers. Once the age issues hit women, they look for reliable and stable partners that would consider them a win at their age, for which engineers are prime candidates. Sorry for being cynical, as a photographer I handle a lot of desirable women and talk to them about what is important to them at various ages, and as an engineer can observe this basic dynamics - i.e. a no-longer super attractive woman rejected by most desirable men because her attractiveness falters hooks an aging engineer that had a crush on her while she was in her prime, and stays with him due to a lack of better options and desire for some stability, while he is happy beyond measure to get such a (formerly) attractive spouse.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#64

Post by jbattle »

onion2k wrote: post #41
zelos wrote: post #7

"The article also purports that the higher level of communication inherent in engineering jobs may be vital. A healthy communication in a marriage is vital for its survival." Yeah, us software engineers are renowned for our communication skills.

Communication in a relationship is eminently hackable. On the first month 'anniversary' of seeing my girlfriend I bought her a book (one she'd mentioned wanting to read) and wrote a couple of lines in the front about how well it was going. From there on we've bought each other a book every month and written a short note in the front. We've been seeing each other for almost three years without any 'communication probl…

To give totally unsolicited advice - 3 years is easy - it doesn't get really hard for another 5 years. Don't stress about it but also don't take it for granted that your communication will always be as great as it is now (without ongoing effort).

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#65

Post by LordKano »

nashashmi wrote: post #15

I find that male engineers are more difficult to handle by their wives, but if they can be handled, the engineer will hardly ever switch marriages or give up on the one thing that he's got that actually works. There is also stability of income and quality of life that comes into play. When there is stability in the professional field, an engineer has more time to dedicate to his family. That is a gigantic luxury in i…

I find that male engineers are more difficult to handle by their wives

In general, I have found that intelligent men are more difficult for women to manipulate.

Not to say that it doesn't happen or that it's not possible, merely that it's more difficult and when it does happen, it tends to be less effective.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#66

Post by lectrick »

zelos wrote: post #7

"The article also purports that the higher level of communication inherent in engineering jobs may be vital. A healthy communication in a marriage is vital for its survival." Yeah, us software engineers are renowned for our communication skills.

> Yeah, us software engineers are renowned for our communication skills.

I like to think that I have some pretty good communication skills, and that they make me a better programmer.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#68

Post by dagw »

imgabe wrote: post #61
dagw wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Really? My family is full of 50+ year old engineers and I can't think of any engineers that I know that changed careers as they got older. Sure some of them may have taken on more management responsibilities as they got older, but non of them left engineering.

If you're thinking of only the 50+ engineers you know, of course those ones haven't changed careers. You'd have to think of some 50+ year old actors or chefs you know and find out if they used to be engineers.

Fair point. Let me rephrase. Of everybody I know how's done a late career switch, engineers are extremely underrepresented, to the point I can't think of any. The closet I can come up with is a surveyor, which I suppose counts an engineer in some places.

The most common educational backgrounds to lead to a later life career switch in my limited observation is either teaching or banking/finance.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#69

Post by Fuxy »

alanctgardner3 wrote: post #26
Fuxy wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If I had to guess I would say it's the cause of 2 factors: 1.Certain professions attract certain personality types so you won't see a lot of extroverted social people choosing engineering as their profession Extroverts social as they are will always have more options and are less likely to stick around if things get sour. 2.Financial stability means that even if the woman is unhappy in the relationship she is more li…

Just to clarify, in your view women: don't work, can't be engineers, always want to be in a relationship, and are terribly unfaithful and will leave you for somebody with more money? Also, maybe stop calling adult women "girls".

I use the terms interchangeably. I know there is a subtle difference mostly of maturity but don't care enough to pay attention.

No need to get offended over every little thing.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#70

Post by balabaster »

jay-saint wrote: post #27

Have you walked into the average engineering classroom? I remember my EE class had 90% male population. We were not exactly the coolest or most attractive looking group of guys. I think being grateful to finally meet someone that likes us plays a little role. More seriously, people with engineering backgrounds tend to be analytic and may have made more logical choices prior to marriage, that result in longer lasting…

I think this may be a narrow view of humanity...

Everyone's an engineer in one way or another - that's just who we are as people. Just because the stereotype tends towards "engineers" (traditional meaning) being into mechanics, logic, programming, structures etc. doesn't mean that everything can't be viewed this way.

The popular guys at school and politicians are social engineers. Footballers look to solve the problem of helping their team to win. Dancers and bartenders look to solve the problem of how to get people to spend/tip the highest amount of money they can. We look to manipulate logic to get machines to do what we want. Others may look to manipulate emotions and perspectives to get people to do what they want - i.e. spend more money, help them earn more commission. It's all engineering in one way or another.

So to assume that we make more logical choices prior to marriage that result in longer lasting relationships might be a touch narcissistic. We are no different than anyone else, it's just that we're machine nerds. Other people are people nerds, football nerds, modelling nerds, advertising nerds, music nerds, history nerds, science nerds, food nerds etc. They all have problems they're trying to solve and they all use their problem solving and logical skills to solve them, everyone a nerd in one way or another.

To typecast "engineers" (reading between the lines) as desperate does us a disservice. Everyone suffers from self image problems in one way or another - you can thank the media for that courtesy of beauty magazines, wrinkle cream, modeling mags, diet mags, a constant barrage of advertising telling you how to solve body problems and look better to get that hotter partner who also suffers from poor self image problems. You may suffer from poor self image of your perception of your lacking social skills (you really just never had the social training for how to talk with people) but want a hot model type. She may have poor body image because the beauty magazines make her feel ugly and you're all she can get blah blah blah. It's all quite nauseating really.

We all live in this Venn diagram of people we're attracted to that would make good life partners. The intersection of which is where we'll find long term relationship satisfaction (I'll refrain from calling that happiness, because the relationship isn't the whole picture of happiness)... but nobody knows where the intersection is and that's the joy of life. When you're not true to your Venn diagram, it's painful. When you are and you find someone who intersects with yours in the right way, it's amazing.

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