Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

kirstensamazing.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

61–70 of 144 posts

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#61

Post by pjbrunet »

Theodores wrote: post #60
netcan wrote: post #34

I think there's several things going on here. One is diffusion of responsibility or bystander effects, which I think she's hinting at. In a crowd an individual is less likely to take action. I think this has a lot to do with our social instincts. Being in a crowd of strangers is a new thing. We aren't built for it. On our own, we make decisions for ourselves. That's easy. A group is supposed to be a family or troop o…

Skill set comes into it to. If you have a dog with an injured paw then different people will willingly help you (dog lovers) than those people that will willingly help you find a lost cat (cat lovers). Same with directions, some random tourist might not be as willing to help you with directions as a native, the tourist could probably get the maps out on their phone, but they will not feel as if that is the thing to d…

I didn't read all the details but your story reminds me of a guy here in Austin who tried to break up a fight downtown, they killed him.

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#62

Post by loup-vaillant »

jeroen94704 wrote: post #24
TheZenPsycho wrote: post #9

this is a well known phenomenon called the "bystander effect" wikipedia entry here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect long story short, what's going on in people's minds when they don't help is that, probably someone else will step in, and playing hero will probably just get in the way. which, isn't that helpful if 100% of the bystanders are thinking that. It's somebody else's problem. there's a simple re…

It may be partly "somebody else will fix this", but also largely "is this really what it seems"? It could be a genuine robbery, or a piece of improv street theatre, or a sociology experiment. And since nobody else is responding, maybe they see something I don't. As an aside, apparently she pretty much did what you suggest (which is the standard advice to deal with the bystander effect) in that she asked one particula…

The "is this really what it seems?" part is mostly a rationalization. It's hard to feel the full force of shame, when you have an easy escape like this.

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#63

Post by talmir »

huehue wrote: post #29
blueskin_ wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, if the crackhead had a gun, there wouldn't be a blog post, just another murder.

If somebody shot the crackhead instead of just staring there wouldn't even be a blog post. Problem solved. These kind of people are going to carry weapons no matter what, and I for one don't want to be again in a situation where I'm unable to defend myself or somebody else. I really understand the arguments behind prohibition and could agree with them, but the integrity of my loved ones comes first.

If somebody had tried to shoot the crackhead it is very likely that an innocent bystander would have recieved the bullet instead depending on the skill of the marksman and the movement of the target.

Guns dont protect often (or the USA would be relatively crime free). They just give you an excellent opertunity to hurt/kill innocents instead of the attacker.

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#64

Post by afarrell »

I hope I would have kicked the woman in the head or wrestled her to the ground. As a male, I suspect I wouldn't have.

I could have just called the police, but that doesn't really help in an immediate situation of one person trying to stab someone. So this situation calls for either: 1) Subduing the attacker by pinning them. 2) Doing enough damage to the attacker that they can't move. If they are on top of the victim, they maybe are in a good position for me to run up and corner-kick their head and end things with a quick concussion. I can't tell from the prose. Otherwise, it would be better to just restrain her and pin her to the ground.

So I'm either a man pinning screaming woman to the ground in a public place or a man who is viscously beating a woman in public.

No thanks, "Real Men" don't hit girls. http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/brand-what-do-you...

Especially not in public where "defend the woman being attacked" is a fantasy for a whole bunch of people.

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#66

Post by Tehnix »

I don't really intend to risk my life going up against a knife-wielding crazy person, just so you'd be able to keep your phone. I would probably call the police though, which was also my reaction last a bigger fight happened near me.

For me to risk my life for you, I would have to know you somewhat well, and then I would very likely intervene.

It's not only the bystander effect, but also the quite rational question "do I want to risk my own life for the sake of this woman I don't know, in this situation I know very little about?"

Once, my friend intervened in two drunk girls fighting each other. He was calm, but instead they just turned against him.

It's simply a game of pros and cons, and I can very much follow the community thing that Anderkent mentions in another thread.

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#70

Post by wozniacki »

m0nty wrote: post #56
k-mcgrady wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> "As I remounted my bike and rode away, it occurred to me that she didn't at any point thank me..." >> "There's not much to be gained from interacting with strangers..." Good on you for stopping to help but why do you feel like you should have to gain something by helping someone else? The woman you helped was still probably quite shocked and dealing with police to thank you and it's highly likely that in such a si…

> If I helped someone the only thing I'd expect in return would be that if the person I helped is ever in a situation where they can provide help to someone else, they'll remember the time they were helped by a stranger and take action. You say that as if it's a minor thing ("the only thing I'd expect") but you might be expecting someone to risk their life, get accused of rape by an unstable person, put themselves in…

  You say that as if it's a minor thing ("the only thing 
  I'd expect") but you might be expecting someone to risk
  their life, get accused of rape by an unstable person,
  put themselves in danger of injury or lawsuit. It's 
  not a trivial matter.
Strongly seconded.

This happens more often than one would think.

I do not want to alarm anyone but it is not entirely out of the bounds of reason to expect law enforcement to NOT acknowledge your good Samaritanism or worse, punish you for it.

"Good Samaritan Backfire or How I Ended Up in Solitary After Calling 911 for Help"

Discussed previously here on HN :

How I Ended Up In Solitary After Calling 911 For Help

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7233730

Direct link to blog :

https://medium.com/human-parts/9f53ef6a1c10

Post reply on HN