Earlier quoted context omitted.
So you're saying that randomly hooking up with many people is like BitTorrent?
I'd say BitTorrent is gang-bang. [edit: by gang-bang, I meant group-sex. (I'm not understanding the down-votes)]
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61–70 of 223 posts
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#63I find it can either harm or help. One tends to be happier in a relationship, which makes one do better work. But it also takes time away from work. So the best case (for work) is a relationship that makes you happy but doesn't take up too much time.
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#64In a stable and good relationship, my work is dramatically better in quality, even if the quantity of hours spent on work is slightly lower than when I'm single and not bothering to "chase". During past bad relationships, or phases when I was "racking up a number", my work was definitely impaired. How did I prevent it? I suppose I didn't, but I mostly just worried about being a decent human being to people I know, an…
My jaded and unfortunate observation is that most women tend to focus on "number" in the other direction. If your number's lower than theirs, even if that's largely by choice, they don't respect you because you're not "alpha" enough to be worthy of their time. At least, this is what I've observed in the American dating scene; the rest of the world is utterly different. The big problem is that American women are prone…
I disagree. I've found that if you rock their world, women (and men) will overlook many problems. So instead of trying for a higher score than her, which doesn't improve her life any, just be the most fun, interesting, exciting guy she's ever met, and not worry about the other stuff.
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#65Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm calling his comments sexist, and he's calling 85% of American women worthless. Who's the distasteful and intellectually bankrupt one here? So what you're saying is, that I'm a bad commentor because I used a label like "sexist" to apply to someone's publically, voluntarily, and vociferously stated opinions... ...but it's just fine to apply the label of "unmarriagable," "selfish," "crass," "immoral," "low quality,"…
To bring up the obvious, I can't pass judgment on a woman who's had casual sex if I never know about it. The worst side effect of casual sex is its cultural effect. "Hookup culture" is extremely debased and elevates deviant behavior to accepted status, if not a social requirement in some circles (e.g. being inexperienced, even for moral reasons, is looked down upon by many women in New York). However, if the sex is e…
To bring up the even more obvious, maybe you shouldn't be "passing judgement" at all.
"The worst side effect of casual sex is its cultural effect."
Mere speculation.
""Hookup culture" is extremely debased"
In your opinion, perhaps; I have no problem with it, and seems natural enough. Let people do what they will.
"and elevates deviant behavior to accepted status, if not a social requirement in some circles"
I would love to hear why you think sex is "deviant". It seems natural and healthy to me; after all, we were all born with the equipment built right in.
"being inexperienced, even for moral reasons, is looked down upon by many women in New York"
Being inexperienced in any important skill is good reason to be looked down upon. Your "moral reasons" are likely baseless. Why don't you try going and getting a job and see what they think of your inexperience, "even for moral reasons".
"However, if the sex is entirely private, and doesn't involve the woman I end up marrying, then I don't know about it, it's none of my business"
Even if you do know about it, it's still none of your business. Who do you think you are?
"What I don't like is living in a culture that engenders distrust and dislike between the sexes"
I have the feeling that the "distrust and dislike" you are evidently experiencing has nothing to do with culture and everything to do with women learning about your ridiculous beliefs. You've certainly attracted your fair share of "distrust and dislike" right here, and most of us aren't even women.
"and encourages dishonorable behavior in young people"
That's your opinion, and yours alone. I doubt you can back it up with anything other than "gut feeling".
"It seems like a lot of young American men behave unscrupulously and rack up a number not because they want to do so, but because of social pressures"
This is just laughable. I assure you, guys sleep with women because they want sex, not because of social pressure to "rack up numbers". And also, I love how you give a free pass to men (peer pressure!) but women are "immoral".
"they know most women won't respect them if they aren't at least as experienced as they are."
That's right. Women want to be treated right and they aren't interested in some hopeless n00b who doesn't know what to do. Like, say, you.
What a bunch of confused, regurgitated nonsense. You need to stop making foolish excuses and just go and get laid already.
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#66Earlier quoted context omitted.
To bring up the obvious, I can't pass judgment on a woman who's had casual sex if I never know about it. The worst side effect of casual sex is its cultural effect. "Hookup culture" is extremely debased and elevates deviant behavior to accepted status, if not a social requirement in some circles (e.g. being inexperienced, even for moral reasons, is looked down upon by many women in New York). However, if the sex is e…
To bring up the even more obvious, maybe you shouldn't be "passing judgement" at all. "The worst side effect of casual sex is its cultural effect." Mere speculation. ""Hookup culture" is extremely debased" In your opinion, perhaps; I have no problem with it, and seems natural enough. Let people do what they will. "and elevates deviant behavior to accepted status, if not a social requirement in some circles" I would l…
sho, you downvoted me, but do you see what I mean now? Maybe I didn't lay it out as clearly as you did.
But my personal theory is he just posts this stuff to stir up shit, and see if he can convince some other marginalized guys to swing to his worldview, rather than any kind of actual question he wants answered.
Every time the topic comes up (or he brings it up), he goes on and on about how American women are worthless this, and Sex and the City that.
It's a twisted attempt at pedagogy (translation: trolling, with a purpose), not Hacker News.
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#67After a number of relationships with women all over the creative spectrum, ie. a working artist to someone who could care less about any creative endeavor; I can say that the deciding factor in my productivity has always been me. This is despite my best efforts to abdicate the responsibility many times when things aren't going right (productivity or personal). Creativity needs inspiration, if you can't get it one place then get it from another.
As for being productive, a relationship is like any other engagement that takes up time. It works best if you can block off time for it, then actually do something in that time for the relationship. Just sitting around and watching tv with your honey-doo is neither productive for your work nor the relationship - go out and take a walk together or something. Just my 2 cents, not that I would dare claim I know enough about women to make a definitive answer on the subject.
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#68When I was single I hacked for hacking's sake. Really hard sexy problems. Didn't care for the world. That also meant keeping a dull, soul sucking job for the sake of bills, and rushing home in the afternoons to do what I love.
Now that I'm in a loving, supportive relationship; we decided to pool our resources and each of us pursues our dreams. I am working on my start up, she is a singer, we have money coming in and we're saving allot. Sometimes I freelance on the side, other times she does a corporate gig. It's good to have someone coming home to you to ask you "honey how was your day".
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#69time_management has a history of posting misogynistic, and generally sexist (for both sexes) comments. One needs to take this into account when responding. Just read his comments here about 85% of women in the US being too low-quality, etc., etc. before you upvote.
I'm disturbed that you would depict me as a misogynist because of my opposition to Sex and the City culture and the type of person it has, sadly, convinced a lot of women to try to become. I'm somewhat elitist, and I think the corporate-made suburban American culture (or lack thereof) is a massive fail. I'm a cultural conservative, and strongly opposed to "hookup culture" because I think it has destroyed something pr…
You say you're a cultural conservative, and your comments are about women in NYC. NYC is one of most anti-cultural-conservative places in the US. It's not surprising there aren't many women there who share your perspective. Perhaps you should go to a more balanced (with respect to your wishes) part of the country.
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#70Earlier quoted context omitted.
To bring up the even more obvious, maybe you shouldn't be "passing judgement" at all. "The worst side effect of casual sex is its cultural effect." Mere speculation. ""Hookup culture" is extremely debased" In your opinion, perhaps; I have no problem with it, and seems natural enough. Let people do what they will. "and elevates deviant behavior to accepted status, if not a social requirement in some circles" I would l…
sho, you downvoted me, but do you see what I mean now? Maybe I didn't lay it out as clearly as you did. But my personal theory is he just posts this stuff to stir up shit, and see if he can convince some other marginalized guys to swing to his worldview, rather than any kind of actual question he wants answered. Every time the topic comes up (or he brings it up), he goes on and on about how American women are worthle…
I upvoted you on your next comment. Of course I agree with your sentiments (in this instance), I just don't like the use of labels in general. Nothing personal.
Even so, I don't think "sexist" and "mysogynist" really cover it. It's more just general confusion and misguided thinking, the women-related stuff just seems like a sort of byproduct or artefact. I won't speculate on reasons, I'm not a psychologist.
Anyway, yes, I also suspect a single-issue pedagogue with an axe to grind. Ah well, c'est la vie. And no, it's definitely not Hacker News.
(edited to remove badly-explained, extreme example of voting standards)