my son recently got into skateboarding which warmed my heart because i use to dream of being a pro-skater at his age. I dug out my old board and have gone to a few skateparks with him. Seeing a vert ramp was like seeing an old friend, i'm doing a lot of core and lower body workouts to see if I can get in a few more runs. There's one trick i've never been able to do and this is my last shot (I'm 50). After this summer, the cards will be on the table and, hopefully, I'll stop thinking about it hah.
Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)
61–70 of 229 posts
Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)
#62I would love to be a star ship captain in a universe with faster than light travel. Or a surgeon. But you know actual life is good and I do enjoy watching DS9 with my young adult son, Benjamin. And reading about all the other cool things. It is better to live an imperfect experience than just wish for an ideal imagined experience. And better to act wrongly than to be right but do nothing.
Also, a lot of people have dreams about a perfect idealized version of something instead of the reality. If they actually got to experience the reality they might find that they no longer hold that dream as they originally knew it.
Reading this somewhere in the Atlantic on a sailboat by myself. Nodding yes. A few days from now I will be at home after an almost 2 year journey of learning what sailboat ownership. I still can’t tell if I like the sailboat life. I’m going decide in the fall of 27 If I really want a sailboat. I had to try it or give up the dream. Maybe I’ll go back to my dream of running a small run manufacturer if facility.
Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)
#63It’s the not-knowing that is the most haunting. I know I’ll never be able to take martial arts; I have made peace with that. I know I will never be an amazing athlete; I have made peace with that as well. Same with my body composition: I will never be rail-thin, I will never “fit” into most “fun” cars even when I finish my weight loss journey, I will never be the kind of guy who can fit into a Medium of anything clot…
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
- Reinhold Niebuhr's Serenity prayer
Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)
#64The trick is to widen the scope of what you means. If it means, us and we, then we are pulling 1080s. The dreams become what we can achieve. When anyone broke the 2hr marathon, we were happy for us. We did it, we landed on the moon. We ran a 4 minute mile or summited Everest w/o oxygen. Dreams are a dance and we have to figure out how to include ourselves and others dynamically.
I don't know, I'd rather not identify with my country too much if it does things I deeply disapprove of but can't change.
By that logic, all Americans would be Trump.
Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)
#65It’s the not-knowing that is the most haunting. I know I’ll never be able to take martial arts; I have made peace with that. I know I will never be an amazing athlete; I have made peace with that as well. Same with my body composition: I will never be rail-thin, I will never “fit” into most “fun” cars even when I finish my weight loss journey, I will never be the kind of guy who can fit into a Medium of anything clot…
I’m curious why you say you know some of those things will never happen. It’s certainly possible that if you’re extremely tall you probably won’t fit comfortably in some sports cars. And there are some medical conditions that preclude any kind of participation in martial arts. But barring those, is it possible you don’t know those things but are instead conceding them?
Just a gentle reminder: This point of view is sometimes applicable and valuable, but it is extremely easy to say, and statistically it is almost always an oversimplification.
Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)
#66“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig…
this is so true, its hard to make a decision when that actually means you're losing a bunch of other possibilities. so no-decision becomes a decision and then you're left with nothing.
Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)
#67The trick is to widen the scope of what you means. If it means, us and we, then we are pulling 1080s. The dreams become what we can achieve. When anyone broke the 2hr marathon, we were happy for us. We did it, we landed on the moon. We ran a 4 minute mile or summited Everest w/o oxygen. Dreams are a dance and we have to figure out how to include ourselves and others dynamically.
I don't know, I'd rather not identify with my country too much if it does things I deeply disapprove of but can't change. By that logic, all Americans would be Trump.
I believe they meant humanity.
Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)
#68Having kids really helps with making peace with unlived dreams. You simply are too tired to even think about those dreams. You are lucky if you can get one night of good sleep —- and trust me a good sleep when you have kids is different from a good sleep before that.
Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)
#69Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)
#70Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don't know, I'd rather not identify with my country too much if it does things I deeply disapprove of but can't change. By that logic, all Americans would be Trump.
I believe they meant humanity.
That term is honestly used way too often on HN for my tastes. But then as well, I wouldn't like to identify with everything humanity has ever done. Especially if I know that I have only a tenuous connection (or no connection at all) to the people who did it.