61–70 of 102 posts
I get it - I’ve fixed problems like this before and you’re so excited you found a hammer, now everything looks like a nail.
> a 10-minute call can cost me several hours of focus. And I might spend the entire day thinking about it.
As a manager, you should learn to change this about yourself rather than imposing your work style on your team.
This ignores the human side of things - people want relationships, empathy and sometimes just to be listened to. A call with your manager where they say "yes, I agree with everything you said - go ahead and do it, I trust you" can mean much more than the same thing said in a text message.
To me this is just a case of, "I hate X and prefer Y, therefore Y is correct and X is wrong."
It makes me wonder about times when I've confused my own preferences for managerial wisdom. I need to not dash off a blog post about how "I've finally figured it out" until at least two other people have tried my prescription and found it helpful.
This ignores the human side of things - people want relationships, empathy and sometimes just to be listened to. A call with your manager where they say "yes, I agree with everything you said - go ahead and do it, I trust you" can mean much more than the same thing said in a text message.
For me the best moments at work have been when the direct manager was sick or on a very long holiday. We're adults, why would I need someone to tell me 'I agree with you', 'go ahead, I trust you'. Maybe if you don't know what you're doing, or you can't manage the stakeholders, but otherwise, the manager just gets in the way, unless they know how to make themselves invisible, or they have the connections and will to p…
> why would I need someone to tell me
This isn't about you. It is about working with others that are not exactly like you.
> Maybe if you don't know what you're doing . . .
Making up insulting reasons doesn't help either.
> In the end, a 10-minute call can cost me several hours of focus. And I might spend the entire day thinking about it. does anyone else have their entire day sidelined by a 10-minute call? is that common? to me, it hints at something else, but i am not sure if i am the odd one out or not.
> But for me, it becomes the event my whole day starts to revolve around. I have to break out of my flow, put my tasks on hold, take the call, and then get back into context. In the end, a 10-minute call can cost me several hours of focus. Occasionally I get this feeling for a large customer meeting or a public talk, because there are consequences and serious prep. But this is just trying to normalize extreme social…
Yes, the "10-minute call becomes the event my whole day starts to revolve around" is very ADHD and/or autism coded (I'm non-neurotyopical and also mountain this molehill), and there's a lot of rationalization about this in the article. Being a manager means accommodating neurotypical people, too. I agree that the author should think hard about whether management is the best place for them.
> unpleasant if I end up not liking the person > Their tone, manner of speaking, their emotions. That can ruin my whole day.
Why should this person demand that they like or are liked by everyone, and why should it ruin their day to keep things professional? That sounds extremely highly-strung.
This reminds me of another HN post where someone complains that they don't want extraneous information in their emails. No "Hey, how are you?", no "I know you're busy, but...", just straight to the point: "Send me the TPS report by EoD." To me this is just a case of, "I hate X and prefer Y, therefore Y is correct and X is wrong." It makes me wonder about times when I've confused my own preferences for managerial wisd…
This ignores the human side of things - people want relationships, empathy and sometimes just to be listened to. A call with your manager where they say "yes, I agree with everything you said - go ahead and do it, I trust you" can mean much more than the same thing said in a text message.
I think it’s good if the phone call heavy people can find their way to phone call heavy managers, while the people who communicate well without constant phone calls can group together and work that way. There’s a third category of people who actually need a lot of communication for different reasons (constant reassurance like you highlighted or maybe contestant management to keep them on track) but who also avoid com…
This ignores the human side of things - people want relationships, empathy and sometimes just to be listened to. A call with your manager where they say "yes, I agree with everything you said - go ahead and do it, I trust you" can mean much more than the same thing said in a text message.
I hate video calls, but sometimes is so much easier (and really faster) to align with someone over a complicated issue. feels almost counter intuitive but the more complicated the matter the easier to align over voice / video than text in my view