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When do we become adults, really?

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Re: When do we become adults, really?

#61

Post by blueflow »

juliendorra wrote: post #59
blueflow wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Child abuse might be a large driver behind dysfunctionality in adulthood, with disability or early retirement as a consequence. There were some big child neglect cases around the millennium, since them, the topic got more attention from researchers. It used to be that traumatised kids got slapped with a ADHD, autism and/or borderline diagnosis and it got called a day. These are "that's just how you are" style diagnos…

ADHD and other mental issues are under-diagnosed in dysfunctional or toxic families, and of course exist in very stable caring families, so I would be very curious in which data link the very different symptoms you cite directly to trauma. It feels like going back to the era of shaming mothers for autism.

I'm not saying these 3 linked issues are caused by childhood trauma, but that they are diagnosed because of the overlap of symptoms.

This is vaguely among experts (for autism and emotional instability): https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11724683

This is not ruling out a causal link in the opposite direction, that autism increases vulnerability to traumata.

And while researching case reports on child abuse, i couldn't help to notice that many cases do - indeed - start with an autism diagnosis and only escalate later, example: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11886450/

While its true that parents don't cause autism... they can surely cause the diagnosis. Extra bad because it delays appropriate treatment.

Re: When do we become adults, really?

#62

Post by barrkel »

There's a tautology encoded in the question. You become an adult when you behave like the people who most people consider to be adults, behave.

What is an adult? Like most words, "adult" encodes a cluster of related behaviors and it's a probabilistic judgment as to whether any individual counts. And it's also shaped by the circumstances of the day. The roles and responsibilities of adulthood change over time, with different social expectations, and those roles may become achievable or less expected to be achievable, depending.

It's unsurprising that the article doesn't really come to any conclusion. The question doesn't admit a hard answer. A better question might be, what is the good life of today, and what transitions and when might make sense in our time.

Our lives are less structured by tradition than times past. But some biological truths can't be denied. A good life, today, might require one to be countercultural, if our ad-ridden culture over-venerates individualism and youth.

I suspect most people only realize these things in retrospect. You don't really know what doors have closed until you find yourself ignored, knocking outside.

Re: When do we become adults, really?

#64

Post by watwut »

AltruisticGapHN wrote: post #21

I'm 51 now and I feel like I will never be an adult. Looking around I see a lot of broken people, each in their own peculiar ways. Everyone has some coping mechanisms, triggers, and behaviours rooted in childhood. I don't see it in a bad light, I think it is just humanity.

I think that definition of adulthood that requires you to be perfect healthy person who has it all figured out is just wrong and also useless.

Adult means grown up. Grown up does not mean perfect or without issues.

Re: When do we become adults, really?

#68

Post by readthenotes1 »

I believe an adult is someone who can take care of themselves and those that depend on them without undue imposition on others.

Some never make it.

It has nothing to do with age.

You could argue that a 10-year-old who is pulling hens weight in the family is an adult by my definition since they are not imposing on others in the family.

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