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We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

bbc.co.uk

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Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#61

Post by catlikesshrimp »

fragmede wrote: post #57
namanyayg wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm trying to understand this better, possible to share any examples?

Not going to share a personal example, but eg plug "I bought my mom a vacuum cleaner for her birthday. Why did she get mad at me? she keeps complaining about the old one!" into ChatGPT vs find me any human willing to sit down and have that as an actual discussion with me as a human of any age. I'm just supposed to get it? I'm a fucking monster and unworthy of being loved because I need that explained to me? "You shou…

To be honest, that can happen to any kid depending on the background

I grew up at a time when a home appliance was an acceptable gift for the woman in charge.

I heard women complaining progressively more through time, and now it is not an acceptable gift.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#62

Post by ekjhgkejhgk »

rwmj wrote: post #26
lupusyndrby9 wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Isn’t that kind of a lesson learned though? Hitchhiking is illegal for a reason. We don’t let children run as freely outdoors . A lot of states are rewriting or adding exemptions to statutory limits on pressing charges and suing for certain crimes because they happened during a period of time where people assumed you could trust people more. Being cautious and distrustful of strangers with mental issues is a very pro…

Wait, hitchhiking is illegal (in the US presumably)? (Supplemental question: how do you make hitching illegal?) In the UK I've met many interesting people both while hitchhiking myself, and while picking up hitchers. It is a practice that seems to have almost entirely disappeared here, not because it's illegal, but I guess because most people now have cars and some "stranger danger" worries.

You should watch Rambo: First Blood. Great movie.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#63

Post by ChrisMarshallNY »

fragmede wrote: post #57
namanyayg wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm trying to understand this better, possible to share any examples?

Not going to share a personal example, but eg plug "I bought my mom a vacuum cleaner for her birthday. Why did she get mad at me? she keeps complaining about the old one!" into ChatGPT vs find me any human willing to sit down and have that as an actual discussion with me as a human of any age. I'm just supposed to get it? I'm a fucking monster and unworthy of being loved because I need that explained to me? "You shou…

Reminds me of this old commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkkW6dwG2KY

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#64

Post by tclancy »

moondowner wrote: post #60

> The homeless centre told them Ronnie needed an address to get a job, Rob said, but "to get an address, you need a job". > "That's the Catch 22 that loads of homeless people are in." Breaking this systemic barrier would make life easier on a lot of people.

Yes. I’d like to think having a mobile phone would be enough but there’s still how work can write you a check and how you can deposit it. Not sure if any bank will go without a fixed address.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#65

Post by idiotsecant »

ajb wrote: post #46
ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Happy Christmas, folks! > please have some humanity about the homeless In the US, the homeless population exploded , in the 1980s, when they closed down all the mental institutions. Before that, there was a far less pervasive homeless population in urban areas. Being "on the spectrum," myself (but highly functional), I can attest to how easy it is for an autistic person's life to go sideways. Many autistic folks have…

Non-neurotypicals can receive bad treatment from neurotypicals. But, it's also a trap to start thinking that neurotypicals are 100% intolerant. The corollary of not knowing when they're offending people, is that they also don't know when they're receiving tolerance - which is actually a lot; although it's understandable that this is not obvious.

The default instinctual reaction of nearly everyone to someone who lets the mask slip and exhibits spectrum behaviours is somewhat like they would react to seeing a large spider. The knee jerk baked in emotional response is a mix of fear, disgust, and 'other'ing. OP isn't making some claim that neurotypicals are consciously intolerant. I would, however, make the claim that regardless of what actions people consciously take, this initial reaction is hard to hide and is profoundly impactful to the people who see it a million times.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#66

Post by bondarchuk »

oulipo2 wrote: post #51
bondarchuk wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bayes' law, many more people have romantic partners than former homeless living with them.

That wasn't the point of the answer. The point is "How well do you really know someone?". You really don't. Many people live with partners who end up killing them, although they thought they trusted them. Besides, "Bayes law" is not on your side on this one, it's well-known that "regular people" are over-represented in homicide, and "autistic people" or even "schizophrenic people" are under-represented and are mostly…

All of that may very well be but correct reasoning is a prerequisite to talking about any of these points.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#67

Post by aleph_minus_one »

moondowner wrote: post #60

> The homeless centre told them Ronnie needed an address to get a job, Rob said, but "to get an address, you need a job". > "That's the Catch 22 that loads of homeless people are in." Breaking this systemic barrier would make life easier on a lot of people.

If you look for an evil of the world, it is often written down in the rules and laws.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#68

Post by tclancy »

reop2whiskey wrote: post #19

[flagged]

Username checks out. How would this work? We pay taxes specifically for Tragedy of the Commons problems like this. Most people aren’t going to do what the folks in this story did (and lots of folks wouldn’t be suited to it, even the slight bit of struggle weaved into the story speaks volumes about what they worked through) and this was for someone they vaguely knew. A complete stranger showing up like that with no context is unlikely to be welcomed in to a house.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#69

Post by lurk2 »

oulipo2 wrote: post #51
bondarchuk wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bayes' law, many more people have romantic partners than former homeless living with them.

That wasn't the point of the answer. The point is "How well do you really know someone?". You really don't. Many people live with partners who end up killing them, although they thought they trusted them. Besides, "Bayes law" is not on your side on this one, it's well-known that "regular people" are over-represented in homicide, and "autistic people" or even "schizophrenic people" are under-represented and are mostly…

> it's well-known that "regular people" are over-represented in homicide, and "autistic people" or even "schizophrenic people" are under-represented and are mostly harmless

It is?

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#70

Post by aleph_minus_one »

idiotsecant wrote: post #65
ajb wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Non-neurotypicals can receive bad treatment from neurotypicals. But, it's also a trap to start thinking that neurotypicals are 100% intolerant. The corollary of not knowing when they're offending people, is that they also don't know when they're receiving tolerance - which is actually a lot; although it's understandable that this is not obvious.

The default instinctual reaction of nearly everyone to someone who lets the mask slip and exhibits spectrum behaviours is somewhat like they would react to seeing a large spider. The knee jerk baked in emotional response is a mix of fear, disgust, and 'other'ing. OP isn't making some claim that neurotypicals are consciously intolerant. I would, however, make the claim that regardless of what actions people consciousl…

> The default instinctual reaction of nearly everyone to someone who lets the mask slip and exhibits spectrum behaviours is somewhat like they would react to seeing a large spider. The knee jerk baked in emotional response is a mix of fear, disgust, and 'other'ing. OP isn't making some claim that neurotypicals are consciously intolerant. I would, however, make the claim that regardless of what actions people consciously take, this initial reaction is hard to hide and is profoundly impactful to the people who see it a million times.

Then these neurotypicals should stop their hypocrisis of preaching tolerance and considering themselves to be tolerant.

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