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Becoming the person who does the thing

fredrivett.com

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Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#61

Post by thevillagechief »

torben-friis wrote: post #2

I had a similar experience as a teen, where somehow I had never considered a sport or the gym because “that was not what people like me did, I was the nerdy one”. I didn’t really ever think that explicitly, or say it aloud, it was just an obvious implication on my mind. Turns out the only thing separating me from someone who is good at sports, or being buff, was doing it frequently and not half assed. Applies to most…

My wife had a similar experience. Being the last child, she was just never pushed to do any activities in school, and had really never participated in any physical activities. When we got married, I set a goal to run a marathon, and she thought that was the funniest joke she'd ever heard. Funny story, turns out she was a natural at running, and handily beat me a few years later in our first half marathon, even though I played sports since I was a kid.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#62

Post by satisfice »

huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

I attempted to write a life’s lessons kind of book when I was 17. It took 26 years to finish it. Turns out, it takes a long time to test ideas. I kept asking myself “but how do I know this works.”

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#63

Post by [deleted] »

huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

[deleted]

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#64

Post by bongripper »

huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

[dead]

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#65

Post by turnsout »

huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

Software people reply heavily on systems, patterns and frameworks in planning their work. It leads them to think that all of life is like a coding challenge that just needs the right framework, and as soon as they think they’ve discovered something, they want to share it in the spirit of open source.

That’s the charitable read anyway.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#66

Post by endymion-light »

This is great - Really love the approach of getting halfway - if I'm really tired and need to go to the gym or do a side project, I always give myself half the time I expect.

Want to go to the gym for an hour but feel too lazy? Half an hour and i'll leave. 99% of the time I end up sticking out as i've reached halfway, might as well reach halfway again.

It helps shift the mental load.

Although being the person that does the thing is something that I find a bit of a struggle with living in the UK. In general, I feel like there ends up being a bit of a pull down mentalility - "why are you spending time doing X side project", "why do you care about Y".

It's a mentality that's easy to fall into culturally, and i've really had to put effort to shift that and build up motivation. I've found getting past the cultural aspects, I end up finding so many people who feel the same way.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#67

Post by thevillagechief »

GuB-42 wrote: post #51
Groxx wrote: post #14

I've generally found quite a lot of success at abandoning goals / "destinations" for most things, and focusing on the "journey": don't aim to "be fit" or reach a specific weight. aim to "do one more thing" to make progress along a direction. every step in that direction is success, every bit is something you weren't doing before and is something to be happy about. it doesn't have to be big at all - have you done one…

That's why I don't really get the gym. What is enjoyable in a gym? All activities you do there feel so useless and mindless. Running on a threadmill, lifting weights to put them back down, etc... For the journey/destination analogy, the destination is all that matters here, and you are taking the highway, because it is efficient. There are may other activities that will get you fit and are what I think are way less b…

The gym, once you get into it, can be incredibly addicting. I'm not as consistent as I should be, but there have been times I've spent 3 hours at a time. I go through similar cycles with running as well. There's just an incredible high to these activities.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#68

Post by vjvjvjvjghv »

huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

I think it's a social media thing that's not limited to tech. There are tons of tiktok videos where some 18 year old explains the world with passion.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#69

Post by [deleted] »

conductr wrote: post #34
huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

As a older than this person, I feel like it’s around the time most people have that first large step of retrospectiveness where they see their current self has deviated from their self they thought they were previously. They realize they have autonomy to craft themselves. They realize there are more important aspects to life than their grades/sports/hobby or whatever things they built their identity around for the fi…

[deleted]

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#70

Post by achenet »

michaelcampbell wrote: post #40
freetime2 wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My experience is that most people in tech don't write about life lessons. But the ones who do frequently appear on HN because the audience on HN likes this sort of article.

I think their point is not that people in their mid 20's are WRITING LIFE LESSONS, but more that PEOPLE IN THEIR MID 20'S are writing life lessons.

In this particular case, the guy seems to be in his late 30s or 40s (he says "until my late twenties, I could count the number of times I had been to the gym on on hand", and later "fast forward almost to a decade").

But even if he was in his mid 20's... I understand being cautious about taking life lessons from young people, because they've had less chance to learn and correct the false things they might have learned, but the lesson he is sharing here - that your identity determines your actions which in turn will determine large parts of your life outcomes is one that even someone young can understand, and it is a useful one - I'd argue that no matter your age, if you've got a self-image that is blocking you from 'living your best life'/'doing what you want to do'/'being happy', knowing that you can change it, and this will get you closer to your goals, is useful.

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