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Teenagers no longer answer the phone: Is it a lack of manners or a new trend?

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Re: Teenagers no longer answer the phone: Is it a lack of manners or a new trend?

#61

Post by jolmg »

MrDresden wrote: post #59
jolmg wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Never seen it prescribed to manners if someone picks up a phone or not. Is that a US thing? I would see it analogous to someone in real-life saying hi and the other person ignoring them. Is that rude? Depends on your relationship with the person. A salesman? No. Someone you're really close to? Maybe; depends on your relationship with them. Boss? Likely. It also depends on whether you call back, in case you were dri…

> "I would see it analogous to someone in real-life saying hi and the other person ignoring them. Is that rude? Depends on your relationship with the person. A salesman? No. Someone you're really close to? Maybe; depends on your relationship with them. Boss? Likely." I would find it unreasonable for anyone to think that who ever they are calling is able to take a phone call at all times. Sometimes I am driving, swimm…

> I would find it unreasonable for anyone to think that who ever they are calling is able to take a phone call at all times. Sometimes I am driving, [etc.]

Hence why I said,

>> It also depends on whether you call back, in case you were driving or something.

and

>> If they didn't text back

Everyone understands that picking up a call is not always practical, and many times accepting the call itself is not really as important as accepting the prompt for contact at some vague, near point in the future.

> If you don't set guidelines for your own time and attention, someone else will do so for you.

Everything said is about implied/default expectations. If you set guidelines and they're accepted (it's really a negotiation), then those are the expectations. That's why I said "depends on your relationship with them".

Re: Teenagers no longer answer the phone: Is it a lack of manners or a new trend?

#62

Post by Atheros »

pabs3 wrote: post #55

Phone calls are really problematic for people with memory problems too, since there is usually no recording or summary of the call. Perhaps when offline speech-to-text models get good enough that will change. Some phones already have transcription/summarisation for voicemails, so it isn't a big step to enabling it for all calls.

Your fallible memory is a feature other people expect. So much so that recording a call without consent is a crime in some states.

If you do start recording or transcribing your calls, be sure to disclose this every time you start talking to someone. Otherwise it's a trust violation.

Re: Teenagers no longer answer the phone: Is it a lack of manners or a new trend?

#63

Post by Telaneo »

Barrin92 wrote: post #28

If it's a routine call from a service provider or what have you I'll also let it ring but this from the article is crazy to me: "When I see 'Dad mobile' pop up on my screen, I will let it ring. I don't have the energy to answer a barrage of questions. I'd rather just text him after he hangs up," says 16-year-old Mehdi. I'm twice that old and I'm not letting my parents or family hang if they call. What if they're in t…

This seems like a 'boy who cried wolf' problem. If dad is calling you daily, and you don't feel like talking to him today, that should be a reasonable ask. You could get unlucky and have it be that someone's at the ER, but if they're calling daily, that's unlikely.

If they had texting as the default medium, with calling reserved for important and urgent communication, they wouldn't have this problem.

Maybe I'm just reading to much into this, but I know people who live with this exact situation with their parents, being called several times daily, and if I were in that situation, I'd just stop taking their calls at some point, no matter how important it is.

Re: Teenagers no longer answer the phone: Is it a lack of manners or a new trend?

#64

Post by Telaneo »

samanboz wrote: post #44

Gen Z here. Personally I’m glad to get a call from a close friend any time. Especially when it serves the purpose of them just telling me about something funny or interesting that has happened, to discuss some issue where tone of our speech is an essential part of communication, or to organize some get-together and make plans. In such cases I actually appreciate getting the call and happily pick up the phone. I only…

I don't consider textual communication less real than person-to-person interactions. Different, yes. Less real, no. On the contrary, communication over the phone is usually hindered by the horrible quality of most phone calls I experience, forcing me to use additional effort just to understand what's being said, rather than spending that energy actually answering. Textual commuication also has several advantages I wish real life had, like a log of what's been said.

Re: Teenagers no longer answer the phone: Is it a lack of manners or a new trend?

#65

Post by samanboz »

Telaneo wrote: post #64
samanboz wrote: post #44

Gen Z here. Personally I’m glad to get a call from a close friend any time. Especially when it serves the purpose of them just telling me about something funny or interesting that has happened, to discuss some issue where tone of our speech is an essential part of communication, or to organize some get-together and make plans. In such cases I actually appreciate getting the call and happily pick up the phone. I only…

I don't consider textual communication less real than person-to-person interactions. Different, yes. Less real, no. On the contrary, communication over the phone is usually hindered by the horrible quality of most phone calls I experience, forcing me to use additional effort just to understand what's being said, rather than spending that energy actually answering. Textual commuication also has several advantages I wi…

I think that this preference of yours (and understandably of many others) is a reflection of the pandemic desire - and eventual entitlement - for convenience. I’d say convenience is good in the form of things like hot water, efficient commute, robust legal processes, quick emergency communication, all of which we owe to technology. I could go on about how the pursuit of convenience has made us prosperous and miserable at the same time, but that’s a discussion for another day. While I’d agree that “a log of what’s been said” is convenient and advantageous, I’d say it’s more human to be remembered than simply looked up.

Re: Teenagers no longer answer the phone: Is it a lack of manners or a new trend?

#66

Post by Telaneo »

samanboz wrote: post #65
Telaneo wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't consider textual communication less real than person-to-person interactions. Different, yes. Less real, no. On the contrary, communication over the phone is usually hindered by the horrible quality of most phone calls I experience, forcing me to use additional effort just to understand what's being said, rather than spending that energy actually answering. Textual commuication also has several advantages I wi…

I think that this preference of yours (and understandably of many others) is a reflection of the pandemic desire - and eventual entitlement - for convenience. I’d say convenience is good in the form of things like hot water, efficient commute, robust legal processes, quick emergency communication, all of which we owe to technology. I could go on about how the pursuit of convenience has made us prosperous and miserabl…

This is a preference of mine that goes back to IM services way back (and to a lesser degree SMS), and not a pandemic phenomenon.

Your convenience is someone else's accessibly.

Re: Teenagers no longer answer the phone: Is it a lack of manners or a new trend?

#67

Post by b3ing »

bdangubic wrote: post #10
b3ing wrote: post #4

I get 5-10 robo calls a day, can’t blame anyone

register at https://www.donotcall.gov/ and that will come down to seldom-to-never.

I registered 3yrs ago and it hasn’t helped. They just get phone numbers off of job boards because you might answer if you are looking for a job

Re: Teenagers no longer answer the phone: Is it a lack of manners or a new trend?

#68

Post by pabs3 »

Atheros wrote: post #62
pabs3 wrote: post #55

Phone calls are really problematic for people with memory problems too, since there is usually no recording or summary of the call. Perhaps when offline speech-to-text models get good enough that will change. Some phones already have transcription/summarisation for voicemails, so it isn't a big step to enabling it for all calls.

Your fallible memory is a feature other people expect . So much so that recording a call without consent is a crime in some states. If you do start recording or transcribing your calls, be sure to disclose this every time you start talking to someone. Otherwise it's a trust violation.

It wasn't my memory I was thinking of, but people with serious memory issues, who can't remember even a summary of a phone call 5 minutes after it is done.
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