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Find Your People

foundersatwork.posthaven.com

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Re: Find Your People

#61

Post by bluefirebrand »

bko wrote: post #9
apsurd wrote: post #3

Good speech. It makes me think of why the rich get richer though. More access to more types of people earlier and throughout one's life. The best thing to give kids is access to a very wide—as wide as they can stomach—orientation of all there is in the world. It's not curation, it's not "the best". it's volume and contrasts. I debate my friends about private school. they have kids, I don't yet. Private school is actu…

> The best thing to give kids is access to a very wide—as wide as they can stomach—orientation of all there is in the world. This sounds good sure, but what if you give your child a wide orientation and they want to be an influencer, or club promoter, or grind it out in acting? They almost certainly won't want to become an accountant or nurse. Who would want to do that by choice? But maybe an accountant or nurse is t…

> I think its good to have restraints. If you have an infinite bank roll and no real forcing function, you're likely to get lost

You're absolutely right

I wonder how many people graduate from prestigious universities, well connected and set up to succeed, and then don't ever really make anything of themselves

Re: Find Your People

#62

Post by 1oooqooq »

Kudos jessica. You are still the same unstoppable machine from long ago. Even now you are selling and recruiting, and even passed all opportunity to gloat. all business.

Re: Find Your People

#63

Post by apsurd »

ketzo wrote: post #45
Karrot_Kream wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I went to a poverty level school, my partner went to one of the most elite schools in the US. My friends are also stuck in poverty or the lower-middle-class while my partner's friends seem quite conventionally successful. But several of my partner's friends are quite frustrated with their career choices. They feel like they were hemmed into high-prestige careers. A lot of them are not particularly successful in their…

It’s certainly true that there are real downsides to both ends of the spectrum — but all things being equal I’d rather be wiping my tears with hundred dollar bills than tissues

This is too easily a soundbite. Sounds good so people say it.

It's only true at the extreme ends though. Reliable access to food and shelter is a prerequisite so let's get that out of the way.

I do worry that "rich people problems" are in ways worse problems to have. They're sinister and they cut deep. People become utility functions. Inability to form or even understand authentic relationships. Hamster wheel of self-worth being tied to capitalistic productivity: also paradoxically management hijinks . Existential crises. Law of diminishing returns. There was a post about what the rich have access to that others don't. Takeaway was actually not much, not in physical goods at least.

Stuff like that.

Re: Find Your People

#64

Post by mjr00 »

nathan_compton wrote: post #56

"Which leads me to my final point about getting ambitious plans: you have to be immune to rejection. People are going to dismiss you at first. If that's enough to stop you, you're doomed. So you have to learn to ignore it. And that's harder than it sounds—social pressure is so powerful. But everyone who does ambitious things has to learn how to resist it." Lots of people who learn to do this cause lots of chaos and d…

> Lots of people who learn to do this cause lots of chaos and destruction in their wake.

At the same time, lots of people who do this end up being extremely successful.

The difficulty is knowing which rejection and criticism to ignore. Imagine losing out on a multi-billion dollar business because your initial pitch was dismissed by people saying your business is pointless and redundant because rsync already exists[0].

On the flip side, there's a lot of founders who... have more determination than experience, let's say, and when told their idea won't work, instead of using factual data points (or getting an MVP out to collect data points) operate purely on belief until they run out of money.

[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8863

Re: Find Your People

#65

Post by ip26 »

m3kw9 wrote: post #32

There seem to be a very small chance of changing one’s life trajectory after hearing these speeches. As it’s difficult to change a persons track they’ve been on for years. The uncomfortable changes you must enact immediately is difficult. None the less, a small conversion is huge.

One single speech might not do it. However, a short anecdote. Several years ago, while sitting through a training on first aid and cpr on infants, I was bored out of my mind and complaining internally about how this was a waste of time, yet another rehash of common sense. When suddenly it hit me - no, this was not common sense. I had been taught these things repeatedly ever since I was twelve. I didn’t retain all of it after the first time, the second, or the third. But eventually, it was just common sense to me. I couldn’t always tell you where I learned it, or describe the textbook medical guidance. Why is it done precisely this way, who knows, but obviously this exact grip is how you hold the infant while delivering back blows.

Re: Find Your People

#66

Post by disgruntledphd2 »

yoyohello13 wrote: post #30
herval wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This sounds wildly similar to Brazilian parenting

It’s a spectrum. Many parents, across all countries act like this.

It tends to be associated with immigrants and parents who believe that they should have had a "better" job (even when they like what they do, they don't want their kids doing it).

Re: Find Your People

#67

Post by bravetraveler »

egypturnash wrote: post #37
komali2 wrote: post #25

That was enjoyable, and I appreciated the overall message. A little bit trickier of a pitch to introverted people, maybe. One bit though I'm interested in chatting about: > The truth is there are thousands of different places you could go work, and you have to consider them all and figure out which is the best. But that sounds impossible, right? You only had to choose between 60 different majors, and now you have to…

You may die younger but is slaving away in an office to make money for someone else for most of your waking hours really living?

Nope. I keep getting told "career limiting" like that's a bad thing. I'm good, it keeps wanting more. It mirrors that thing about food: "eat to live or live to eat"

edit: Despite now making 5x my first salary, I still feel my situation; less than Serfdom. For the same outcome... there are easier/more rewarding paths.

Under this light, with capital for a house I'll never afford sitting in the bank, less-than-mainstream options start to look more appealing. To borrow a term I've learned in this supposedly-fanciful Up-or-Out corporate life: my 'blockers' are legality/morality and... I wasn't born in [or relocated to/kept in] the right ZIP code.

Re: Find Your People

#69

Post by whall6 »

Unrelated to tech, but I wonder if this is why so many people seek the IB to PE to HF route that seems so well trod. They just need rails that point them to the next stop.

Re: Find Your People

#70

Post by jll29 »

jumploops wrote: post #38

As someone who has “reinvented” myself more than once (mostly due to school/job transfers), it seems what wasn’t said is equally if not more important. Rarely can you “find your people” without letting other people go. The unspoken truth in this article is that it’s just as important to be willing to let go of relationships that aren’t helping you grow. Easier said than done. Whether it’s the negative influence of a…

As Kermit the Frog in his Maryland commencement speech said, Jim Henson took people for "what they are":

https://www.youtube.com/live/hLFa8zGeotI?feature=shared&t=74...

Do NOT "fake it until you make it". Be yourself. And find people who accept you as you are.

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