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No Instagram, no privacy

blog.wouterjanleys.com

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Re: No Instagram, no privacy

#61

Post by standardUser »

alwa wrote: post #9
paxys wrote: post #4

"I went on a weekend trip and didn't invite friend A, so I hope friend B keeps it a secret and doesn't tell anyone I was there" is the kind of social dynamic that people grow out of in high school. If you are having trouble with it as an adult then it isn't really Instagram's fault. People talk to each other and share stuff, and sometimes they talk about you, both online and offline. Just live your life without being…

There’s value in grace. For all sorts of reasons you might be right to do things that make other people feel bad. That’s no reason to rub their nose in it. What’s the virtue in offending people when you could instead be kind? I know one woman who is having a baby shower, and I know another woman who recently dealt with the loss of her child. It’s not “secrecy” to celebrate the baby shower and avoid bringing it up wit…

> I feel like we used to call it discretion…

That's a stretch, considering previous generations forbid people from discussing all manner of life issues and events out of "discretion", which in my estimation has been a key factor in perpetuating shame and all of the horrifying things that come from societal shame.

Re: No Instagram, no privacy

#63

Post by procaryote »

timcobb wrote: post #22

This reminded me of the time ~10 years ago I was at an event featuring Richard Stallman, and he started by say that no one was allowed to post photos of him on FB. This was to a room of hundreds of people, mostly hackers. I thought, "damn, if there's an uphill battle somewhere, this guy will find it!"

You allowed to have boundaries even if there's a few assholes who won't respect them

Re: No Instagram, no privacy

#64

Post by CrimsonCape »

soulofmischief wrote: post #52
w29UiIm2Xz wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's both things. Being an adult means not being overly bothered if you weren't invited, and it's also very adult to prevent the situation where the uninvited friend doesn't find out, out of concern for their feelings. Both are simply approaching it from different ends.

I'm in my thirties now, and I have been on my own since I was homeless at sixteen. One thing I have learned about being an adult is it means that you have no obligation to seriously consider any other person's idea of what being an adult means.

I agree. The above poster is using an example for "adult" which seems ridiculously juvenile. If I spent one minute of my life figuring out how to "smooth-over" disgruntled happy-hour-non-invitees I would be inclined to beat my head against a wall on account of the absurdity.

Re: No Instagram, no privacy

#65

Post by standardUser »

firefoxd wrote: post #6

The social etiquette argument has been thrown away with the bath water. You are now the weirdo with something to hide when you are not on Instagram or Tiktok. The term I like is Social Cooling, the subtle way in which people change their behavior because they are both present in person and online. Have you ever heard some use the term "unalive" in person? It's as if they are protecting themselves from an algorithm, a…

No one thinks it's weird. You'll likely have a harder time making friends, flirting or networking for your career, but it's absolutely not weird to not use social media these days.

Re: No Instagram, no privacy

#66

Post by standardUser »

mvdtnz wrote: post #58
jjulius wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>You are now the weirdo with something to hide when you are not on Instagram or Tiktok. You might call me a "weirdo", but this has absolutely not been my experience whatsoever. Friends, family and coworkers don't really give a shit that I don't participate in social media, and I haven't been treated any differently for it. Edit: And hell, generally, what's life without a bit of weird? The homogeneity of everyone doin…

It just be a regional thing. I don't know a single person who uses Instagram.

Not even musicians, artists and the like? I have a lot of friends who use Instagram at least partly for their professional lives and hobbies.

Re: No Instagram, no privacy

#67

Post by citizenpaul »

bobthepanda wrote: post #59
mjevans wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Less 'keep it secret' and more 'don't make a big public deal out of private memories'.

is a group trip a private memory?

Depends. Are you a spoilt rotten rich kid? Thats the only place I've seen this dynamic play out.

Re: No Instagram, no privacy

#68

Post by cess11 »

I expect people to ask me before they publish documentation of where I've been and what I did on services like Instagram, and I usually decline the offer. Is this considered unreasonable elsewhere?

Re: No Instagram, no privacy

#69

Post by alex1138 »

ruined wrote: post #8

meta and its social networks have been a disaster for the human race

They needed to have proper defaults and they needed to let their social network grow organically and they needed to have an actual sane, proper, feed https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14147719

There's a reason everyone is on Facebook (one reason is that everyone is on Facebook): Myspace legitimately shot themselves in the foot (I guess Friendster too by lack of proper site performance, even though it was cleaner) by having 'messy' pages. There's real value in being able to find the people you want/need to find by their real names (except, Google, maybe don't you know, hijack people's Youtube accounts in order so that they use Google+)

But then Facebook introduces shifting privacy settings, tagging without permission, not giving people control over how information is displayed generally

I understand it's about beating the competition and about growing and 'connecting the world' but some companies' DNA is set a certain way from the beginning https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1692122

Re: No Instagram, no privacy

#70

Post by CrimsonCape »

ty6853 wrote: post #51
kcmastrpc wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've tried to incorporate the notion that it's none of my business what other people think of me. I don't always get it right, but having that attitude has helped tremendously on reducing my cortisol levels.

This is a huge relief, but it does come at a cost. What other people think of you is one of the largest inputs to access to jobs, sexual partners, and likelihood you'll be referred or witnessed against for prosecution for some inane zoning/HOA ordinance or petty crime (whether you did it or not) because you're not on someone's good side, etc etc. So the high cortisol levels may be warranted from the Darwinist perspec…

If you look at this from the perspective of the judicial system, a huge part of the judicial process exists to compel you to be physically present and in-person at a court room.

On the other hand, social media is really the pinnacle of "the court of public opinion"; people feel more comfortable seeing what photos and social groups you appear in as evidence of "who you are". He/she appears in and therefore must be .

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