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What really happens inside a dating app

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Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#61

Post by carabiner »

He ends with a very interesting proposition to "fix" dating apps:

> To me, the next revolution is really concepts that will make you meet other people without having much information about them. As a user, you will trust the algorithm to match you with the right people. And these concepts will be paying only

> So to summarize, a concept where users pay and commit that they will meet people without knowing them before. So yes, it will take a few dates to really find someone that you like, but so is going every day in dating apps and meeting people that you don't like either.

This is very close to the Dutch app Breeze: https://breeze.social/. There's no chatting in the app. It's focused on meeting people as soon as possible. People pre-pay for dates (covers drinks) and the app partners with venues to check on the couples (they know their names). People who cancel dates get a badge on their profile saying that they have canceled. Ghosters get banned.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#62

Post by j1elo »

lifestyleguru wrote: post #47
j1elo wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> if you swipe on a few hundred average looking people and get zero matches back. That's ugly. What's ugly is using an anemometer to measure a distance. I mean, using number of matches in a dating app, to measure uglyness. Dating apps are products designed by psychologist and built by engineers to generate frustration and make people pay, not to serve as a measurement stick of the average person's attractiveness. Dat…

Can confirm from personal experience. Do not even think of installing Tinder as a male with intention not to pay. Tinder with platinum is frustrating enough for a male. In revenge, every relationship initiated with gold and platinum I threw out to the bin after some sex.

The article says it all: paying is the losing strategy.

> Likes received [by men] have a positive impact, but it is very light, which is a good thing from a monetization standpoint (you can make guys pay and not show them to anyone; they will keep paying, just a bit less than if they received likes. [...])

I can confirm. Payed once for a whole year, and got absolutely buried. Went from a decent rate of interactions to 2~3 likes (not matches) per week. And after the premium period ended, exactly on that same day, the previous rate of likes was restored! That's how I know they were intentionally not showing my profile around to other users.

Taking revenge on other users because of the predatory design of a dating app is, sincerely, disingenuous, childish and even irresponsible. Just stop using the bad product and try to cultivate real connections with people out there.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#63

Post by j1elo »

missedthecue wrote: post #53
j1elo wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> if you swipe on a few hundred average looking people and get zero matches back. That's ugly. What's ugly is using an anemometer to measure a distance. I mean, using number of matches in a dating app, to measure uglyness. Dating apps are products designed by psychologist and built by engineers to generate frustration and make people pay, not to serve as a measurement stick of the average person's attractiveness. Dat…

Do you think if a non-profit open source dating app existed, with a sizable userbase, results would be different for the average guy? People are quick to blame the greedy for profit business model, and I'm sure that has something to do with it, but with women swiping left on 95% of profiles (according to the article) it's hard to imagine designing a dating app that changes the math meaningfully. No matter the busines…

I don't think so, because there are more factors. For example, that women are extremely much more picky in apps than in real life. That's something that a FOSS product wouldn't solve, because it's a behavioral thing.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#65

Post by Horffupolde »

parliament32 wrote: post #59

My anecdotal user-end data-science-ish story about dating apps: A few years back I was single and on Hinge a fair amount. If you used Hinge back then, you'll remember some key differences between the platform and other dating apps: 1) when you "like"'d someone, you'd have to comment on a specific part of their profile (a photo, a prompt answer, etc), 2) these likes showed up in their inbox, independent of whether the…

https://xkcd.com/196/

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#66

Post by TheJoeMan »

parliament32 wrote: post #59

My anecdotal user-end data-science-ish story about dating apps: A few years back I was single and on Hinge a fair amount. If you used Hinge back then, you'll remember some key differences between the platform and other dating apps: 1) when you "like"'d someone, you'd have to comment on a specific part of their profile (a photo, a prompt answer, etc), 2) these likes showed up in their inbox, independent of whether the…

Quite interesting! But you’re leaving us hanging, did you ask her why she was on Hinge at 2pm?

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#67

Post by Synaesthesia »

bradlys wrote: post #22

> More than 50% of men just never receive a like, and never means maybe 2 or 3 likes in the lifespan of several weeks As someone in that more than 50%, it’s very annoying to constantly get told to get on the apps to meet women. I’m surrounded by men in the top 20% because I’m affluent, well educated, and spend a lot of time at the gym. Sadly, I’m just around these people and wasn’t born into the same kind of family.…

I think the problem with apps is they emphasise looks, when women are also attracted to confidence, which is something you can work on.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#68

Post by stanford_labrat »

TheJoeMan wrote: post #66
parliament32 wrote: post #59

My anecdotal user-end data-science-ish story about dating apps: A few years back I was single and on Hinge a fair amount. If you used Hinge back then, you'll remember some key differences between the platform and other dating apps: 1) when you "like"'d someone, you'd have to comment on a specific part of their profile (a photo, a prompt answer, etc), 2) these likes showed up in their inbox, independent of whether the…

Quite interesting! But you’re leaving us hanging, did you ask her why she was on Hinge at 2pm?

My guess is that time would be the first little work-break from the post-lunch session. About an hour after lunch and you take a little break pause so you swipe on Hinge to see if you got any matches.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#69

Post by giacomoforte »

bradlys wrote: post #58
giacomoforte wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Find a poor girl. You are probably going for the ones with a ton of options. Get out of your bubble.

I’m not interested in charity or exploitation.

A girl who started off at the same level as you, will appreciate what you have accomplished. A girl who grew up well off won't.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#70

Post by nooron »

bradlys wrote: post #22

> More than 50% of men just never receive a like, and never means maybe 2 or 3 likes in the lifespan of several weeks As someone in that more than 50%, it’s very annoying to constantly get told to get on the apps to meet women. I’m surrounded by men in the top 20% because I’m affluent, well educated, and spend a lot of time at the gym. Sadly, I’m just around these people and wasn’t born into the same kind of family.…

Hey, I am a man who got work that is probably like what you are getting. Email is in bio if you want to talk a little.
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