Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

The TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people

npr.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

61–70 of 137 posts

Re: The TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people

#61

Post by andrewinardeer »

1over137 wrote: post #20
technotony wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Also I want my kid exposed to technology, to learn to use and develop with it, but how do you balance that with preventing the damages it seems to cause? We are delaying screen-time for my 2 year old till he's at least 5 or 6 but not sure when is the right time to introduce.

Expose them to old technology. They can experience new technology when (much) older.

So they'll suffer the angst and pain like I did begging my parents to upgrade the graphics card from CGA to EGA?

Re: The TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people

#62

Post by geerlingguy »

nl wrote: post #53

I'm a 90s kid. My parents didn't let us have a TV. TV shows were a social object: in the 90s you'd come to school the next day and discuss what you watched. You signaled your in-groups by what shows you liked and what you didn't like. I had none of that. I had friends, but only because I got very good at hiding my oddities. I was disconnected from my peers and learned a set of behaviors that have fucked up a lot of r…

You go out of your way to put your kids into more in person social interactions. Local events, school extracurriculars, sports teams, organizing get togethers with neighbors (and generally inviting neighbor kids to come play in the backyard whenever).

Some of those things are easier than others for a family to take on, but in a strange turn of events, the various social media "bubbles" mean one kid and the next aren't exposed to the same trending topics (like some kids don't even know what skibidi toilet is, while others are all into some NBA or NFL players, while others are following chess tournaments or LEGO stuff...).

There's still enough real world events outside influencer bubbles that you can keep social media (mostly) out of a kids life and not cause that kid to be on an island.

There's a balance between media exposure and overprotection, too. Every parent has to find it. It's one of the most difficult aspects of parenting once your kids are old enough to talk!

Re: The TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people

#63

Post by drivebyhooting »

nl wrote: post #53

I'm a 90s kid. My parents didn't let us have a TV. TV shows were a social object: in the 90s you'd come to school the next day and discuss what you watched. You signaled your in-groups by what shows you liked and what you didn't like. I had none of that. I had friends, but only because I got very good at hiding my oddities. I was disconnected from my peers and learned a set of behaviors that have fucked up a lot of r…

That is really terrible and I worry for our kids being anti media iconoclasts.

If only there were a community for likeminded families.

Re: The TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people

#64

Post by geerlingguy »

t-3 wrote: post #51
lukev wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's very easy to say this if you're not a parent. Social media does some harm. Being socially excluded does far _more_ harm. Which starts to happen in middle school. So as a parent, you have three choices: 1. Deal with the emotional consequences of your kid being systematically excluded and having few/no friends. 2. Construct an alternative school/community with like-minded parents and kids. 3. Just give them the da…

Your kid won't have no friends if they have no phone. They will be in school with other kids for 8 hours a day, no phone required for interaction. Pretty much all messaging apps work from computers as well if they need to talk to friends from home and you don't have a landline.

In fact, many schools are starting to ban phones on campus (for a variety of reasons, not just the negative aspects of social media), which makes this even easier.

Outside the classroom there are still plenty of in-person activities from informal gatherings, to sports teams, to clubs and civic events, and in those situations, the few people who are sitting on their phones are the ones more separated from the rest.

I think a lot of us who were early involved in building some of the web that led beyond Web 2.0 into algorithmically-driven media consumption see the massive dangers, and have probably sometimes even overreacted in terms of kids' access to it, but it's certainly better than the alternative.

Re: The TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people

#65

Post by geerlingguy »

andrewinardeer wrote: post #61
1over137 wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Expose them to old technology. They can experience new technology when (much) older.

So they'll suffer the angst and pain like I did begging my parents to upgrade the graphics card from CGA to EGA?

Maybe they'll have some respect for resource consumption (unlike 99% of software development these days) and they'll end up writing a text editor that doesn't run in an embedded web browser and soak up 6 GB of RAM to open a blank document!

Re: The TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people

#66

Post by otterley »

winterbloom wrote: post #22
nkrisc wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My kid is 7. He has a Linux desktop he can use whenever he wants with no internet access from his user account. My wife and I abandoned all social media and we’ll probably get him a dumb phone when the time comes. I’ve heard the stuff some of his friends with more internet permissive parents parrot from YouTube and stuff and honestly it’s frightening. As for the good stuff that’s actually out there, I download for co…

If you do that, your kid won't fit in and will be a social outcast

Are there studies of the long term consequences to children resulting from not giving them a smartphone or access to popular social media?

Re: The TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people

#67

Post by lttlrck »

lukev wrote: post #34
xyst wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Keep it simple dude. All they get is a basic device with text/RCS and call capabilities. I would be okay with giving a kid just a smart watch. No social media or smart phones until 16 y/o. Also making sure kids have friends in their community is a plus. Involve them in school programs, help guide them as they find their interest. For love of god, don’t give your kid an unlocked iPad with YT/TT/FB/Twitch/kick.

It's very easy to say this if you're not a parent. Social media does some harm. Being socially excluded does far _more_ harm. Which starts to happen in middle school. So as a parent, you have three choices: 1. Deal with the emotional consequences of your kid being systematically excluded and having few/no friends. 2. Construct an alternative school/community with like-minded parents and kids. 3. Just give them the da…

You can also talk to your kids candidly about social media. It's an amplifier of the issues they will have to face in middle school and growing up _anyway_, it's a conversation every parent should be having.

Re: The TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people

#68

Post by politelemon »

knighthack wrote: post #43
Wowfunhappy wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> My wife and I abandoned all social media ...I'm sorry, I have to point out, you're posting this on what is basically a social media site.

I wouldn't classify Hacker News as 'social media' per se. Hacker News does not have the feed-driven approach of other social media that is designed to generate addiction/engagement amongst users; we just like to talk about fun stuff. Hacker News is more of an old-school forum, where we talk about topics, rather than being a true 'social media' experience where you can talk about anything/yourself as a topic. Moreover…

That's a property of some kinds of social media. Not a definition or negation of.

The most amusing thing is that discussions on reddit, tumblr, x, etc include the very same kind of denials that gp comment is eliciting regarding those sites being social media.

Social media includes content sharing, discussions, and echo chambers, all of which are present here in abundance. Certain content gets promoted over others, and each site assumes see itself above others.

Re: The TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people

#69

Post by AlexandrB »

geerlingguy wrote: post #64
t-3 wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your kid won't have no friends if they have no phone. They will be in school with other kids for 8 hours a day, no phone required for interaction. Pretty much all messaging apps work from computers as well if they need to talk to friends from home and you don't have a landline.

In fact, many schools are starting to ban phones on campus (for a variety of reasons, not just the negative aspects of social media), which makes this even easier. Outside the classroom there are still plenty of in-person activities from informal gatherings, to sports teams, to clubs and civic events, and in those situations, the few people who are sitting on their phones are the ones more separated from the rest. I…

I don't get how we got to the point where phones were allowed at school in the first place. Cell phones (though not smart phones) were around when I was a teenager and were universally banned in class and even in the hallways, except for emergencies. Even a non-smart phone is a huge distraction because of texting. Why were they unbanned?

Re: The TikTok documents: Stripping teens and boosting 'attractive' people

#70

Post by eitally »

Geeek wrote: post #15

I am obviously a bit early, as my oldest is only 7, but my wife and I decided to force ourselves to delay getting our kids (7 & 4) their own media device, such as an iPad and go straight to a laptop when it becomes a necessity in school. My 7 year old, with immense attention issues, is obsessed with reading and being creative, I could not imagine her being at her reading level if she had an iPad or some other form of…

My 7yo reads voraciously, including on her Kindle. This depends a bit on the kid, but also quite a lot on the household overall.
Post reply on HN