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Do not try to be the smartest in the room; try to be the kindest

jorgegalindo.me

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Re: Do not try to be the smartest in the room; try to be the kindest

#61

Post by pcloadletter_ »

mgaunard wrote: post #46
mydriasis wrote: post #6

Work is hard and stressful. If we're sweet and kind to one-another, we get through it more easily, no matter how smart each of us is individually. Being kind is an investment, and its dividends pay out enormously as your organization grows. Like the article says, it's infectious. I believe that. I believe that if I show kindness, especially to people who are new to the organization, they'll mirror it right back, and…

Will you be kind as well to the people who repeatedly fuck up and don't care about delivering good processes or products?

Yes. A person's performance on the job does not change how I treat them as a human.

Re: Do not try to be the smartest in the room; try to be the kindest

#62

Post by andrewshadura »

chupy wrote: post #58
Kye wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What would being unkind accomplish here?

What would be kind accomplish there?

Not make things worse, for example? Or maybe it can help convey the message across and make things better?

Re: Do not try to be the smartest in the room; try to be the kindest

#63

Post by thih9 »

Kye wrote: post #52
mgaunard wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Will you be kind as well to the people who repeatedly fuck up and don't care about delivering good processes or products?

What would being unkind accomplish here?

It's not about being unkind, it's about not being kind; these are not the same.

Being kind to a person that behaves as described in the grandparent comment could communicate that you find this kind of behavior helpful. Fine if that's really the case; problematic for everyone if not.

Re: Do not try to be the smartest in the room; try to be the kindest

#64

Post by antisthenes »

chupy wrote: post #58
Kye wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What would being unkind accomplish here?

What would be kind accomplish there?

Not being an asshole in your own eyes. If that's not worth anything to you, then Idk, guess we live on different planets.

Re: Do not try to be the smartest in the room; try to be the kindest

#65

Post by maccard »

mgaunard wrote: post #46
mydriasis wrote: post #6

Work is hard and stressful. If we're sweet and kind to one-another, we get through it more easily, no matter how smart each of us is individually. Being kind is an investment, and its dividends pay out enormously as your organization grows. Like the article says, it's infectious. I believe that. I believe that if I show kindness, especially to people who are new to the organization, they'll mirror it right back, and…

Will you be kind as well to the people who repeatedly fuck up and don't care about delivering good processes or products?

Yes. They’re still human and they deserve to be treated with respect. But part of being kind is being direct and honest, and holding people to account. If you ignore it, or let it fester you’re being unkind to other people

Re: Do not try to be the smartest in the room; try to be the kindest

#66

Post by Kye »

thih9 wrote: post #63
Kye wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What would being unkind accomplish here?

It's not about being unkind, it's about not being kind; these are not the same. Being kind to a person that behaves as described in the grandparent comment could communicate that you find this kind of behavior helpful. Fine if that's really the case; problematic for everyone if not.

Kindness and enabling are also not the same thing.

This entire discussion needs to come to a screeching halt while people get together and hammer out some definitions. It's clear we're all working from different and contradictory assumptions about what these words mean.

Re: Do not try to be the smartest in the room; try to be the kindest

#68

Post by Xenoamorphous »

ungamedplayer wrote: post #60
Xenoamorphous wrote: post #36

As I usually say, be competent, not competitive. No one likes the uber competitive guy who always tries to stand above the rest at all cost. Which, by the way, screams insecurity.

Whenever I hear the term insecurity used in a derogatory manner the caller often feels that it mitigates understanding more deeply in this area. There are personality types that thrive on competition, they get renewed passion and commitment by having others also better themselves, this is not an ego or alpha complex, instead of the mental models they work in. Or we can just call them insecure and be done with it.

Depends on how you define competitiveness. The one I’m referring to, the truly bad kind, is not just about trying to stand out, it also involves trying to put others down, as that helps their goal. Those also tend to be overly sensitive whilst also being insensitive to others. That, to me, screams insecurity (hence the over the top sensitivity). Also they couldn’t care less about others becoming better, actually they’d prefer if they don’t.

And yeah, nobody likes those guys.

Re: Do not try to be the smartest in the room; try to be the kindest

#69

Post by newsclues »

Rather than try to be the smartest in the room, I try to learn from the smartest person in the room, but when I find I’m the smartest i start looking for a room with smarter people to learn from.

Some people can teach others or be the smartest in the room, but I’ve not found those to be as rewarding. I like the challenge of getting to the top more than I do sitting at the peak.

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