Earlier quoted context omitted.
The only reasonable standard the crypto true believers would accept from the US government is that cryptocurrency tokens and derivatives are 100% unregulated and nontaxable by any current or future statute.
That's a nice ad hominem attack you've made there, but it isn't actually unreasonable to argue that Bitcoin and certain other currencies like it are not securities. Heck, even the SEC has said as much. It's even more reasonable to argue that things like NFTs are more like digital baseball cards than securities.
The thing that sold many people on the idea of crypto was that in their minds, government couldn't regulate it or use a central bank to impact its value. I'm not sure why they thought this (maybe "because computers") but one way (through securities or commodities laws) or the other (new legislation), they're going to regulate it.