Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's much easier to transfer bitcoin than it is to transfer gold, so not only does it share #1, it has additional attributes than what you listed. It already is a useful way to exchange value, people do it all the time.
You can literally store it in your mind. A lot of people buy gold for when "Shit hits the fan". But in the end, it's better to flee a horrible place (think Russia or Hong Kong) with a bottle of water and $1M worth of bitcoin stored in your head.
People love to say this, but frankly it is so unrealistic as to border on untrue. It’s a lot to remember. And you can’t transact with “your head” alone, you still need to interface with a computer of sorts; in the event you’re fleeing it’s probably not so easy to purchase a hardware wallet or download the TB-scale blockchain.