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The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers

phys.org

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Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers

#61

Post by WarOnPrivacy »

detourdog wrote: post #31
hasoleju wrote: post #14

> childcare needs to give parents an actual break. In my experience caring for your small children is really demanding work. On the one hand you need to be focused on the situation in order to protect the children and on the other hand there is not much going on for entertaining yourself. Creative or focused deep work where you get a positive feeling of accomplishment also counts as a break from childcare for me. So…

The only thing I would like to add to this thinking is that it also explains cultural norms. If a child is getting input from that many different adults it becomes an averaging of the culture norms.

> If a child is getting input from that many different adults it becomes an averaging of the culture norms.

More directly, it greatly softens the inevitable blows from highly-concentrated, inexperienced parenting.

Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers

#62

Post by ajb »

This is once of the things that remote work/homeworking may enable, if companies don't succeed in taking it away. If people can rely on getting remote work, they can arrange their living situation to improve the rest of their life, instead of for work:

- young people living in large halls, to improve their dating prospects

- groups of friends living close together across job moves, enabling longer term friendships

- new parents living in groups to reduce the burden of parenting

Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers

#64

Post by bequanna »

ajb wrote: post #62

This is once of the things that remote work/homeworking may enable, if companies don't succeed in taking it away. If people can rely on getting remote work, they can arrange their living situation to improve the rest of their life, instead of for work: - young people living in large halls, to improve their dating prospects - groups of friends living close together across job moves, enabling longer term friendships -…

Is this a thing?

Other than one-off communes, I think this is still pretty rare and I’m not aware of it growing due to work from home.

Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers

#65

Post by watwut »

getpost wrote: post #54

> the researchers say that children may be "evolutionarily primed" to expect exceptionally high levels of physical contact and care, What strikes me here is the phrase, "exceptionally high levels." I imagine children need a "normal" level of care; it's only "exceptionally high" in comparison to the deprived state of family systems in these degenerate times. I often reflect on the understanding in Attachment Theory, w…

Given that we actually give kids massive amount of attention compared to historical standards ... calling current situation "degenerate" is absurd. Also considering that by many statistics, children do better then they used to just a few decades ago.

Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers

#66

Post by amelius »

getpost wrote: post #54

> the researchers say that children may be "evolutionarily primed" to expect exceptionally high levels of physical contact and care, What strikes me here is the phrase, "exceptionally high levels." I imagine children need a "normal" level of care; it's only "exceptionally high" in comparison to the deprived state of family systems in these degenerate times. I often reflect on the understanding in Attachment Theory, w…

Maybe in comparison to other species?

Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers

#67

Post by elmomle »

watwut wrote: post #65
getpost wrote: post #54

> the researchers say that children may be "evolutionarily primed" to expect exceptionally high levels of physical contact and care, What strikes me here is the phrase, "exceptionally high levels." I imagine children need a "normal" level of care; it's only "exceptionally high" in comparison to the deprived state of family systems in these degenerate times. I often reflect on the understanding in Attachment Theory, w…

Given that we actually give kids massive amount of attention compared to historical standards ... calling current situation "degenerate" is absurd. Also considering that by many statistics, children do better then they used to just a few decades ago.

For some definitions of attention, yes, but not necessarily historically massive amounts of physical contact and (non -neurotic) care.

Think of the images from the world over of indigenous women going about their days largely with their young children strapped to them.

Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers

#68

Post by 11235813213455 »

getpost wrote: post #54

> the researchers say that children may be "evolutionarily primed" to expect exceptionally high levels of physical contact and care, What strikes me here is the phrase, "exceptionally high levels." I imagine children need a "normal" level of care; it's only "exceptionally high" in comparison to the deprived state of family systems in these degenerate times. I often reflect on the understanding in Attachment Theory, w…

I think it's not really about responding to 100% of a child demands, it's maybe even detrimental, and probably better to start teaching him patience, and let him learn what to do in boredom. But the other part is having long and meaningful activities/experiences with a child

Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers

#69

Post by WarOnPrivacy »

watwut wrote: post #65
getpost wrote: post #54

> the researchers say that children may be "evolutionarily primed" to expect exceptionally high levels of physical contact and care, What strikes me here is the phrase, "exceptionally high levels." I imagine children need a "normal" level of care; it's only "exceptionally high" in comparison to the deprived state of family systems in these degenerate times. I often reflect on the understanding in Attachment Theory, w…

Given that we actually give kids massive amount of attention compared to historical standards ... calling current situation "degenerate" is absurd. Also considering that by many statistics, children do better then they used to just a few decades ago.

> Given that we actually give kids massive amount of attention compared to historical standards ... calling current situation "degenerate" is absurd.

This seems to assume that ~all attention is positive and that attention is still beneficial after the Xth hour. After a time the adult role becomes less parent and more like prison guard duty.

It also seems to assume adult-time is enough for kids and that peer-only time isn't an irreplaceable environment for kids to develop their core social skills.

Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers

#70

Post by LegibleCrimson »

watwut wrote: post #65
getpost wrote: post #54

> the researchers say that children may be "evolutionarily primed" to expect exceptionally high levels of physical contact and care, What strikes me here is the phrase, "exceptionally high levels." I imagine children need a "normal" level of care; it's only "exceptionally high" in comparison to the deprived state of family systems in these degenerate times. I often reflect on the understanding in Attachment Theory, w…

Given that we actually give kids massive amount of attention compared to historical standards ... calling current situation "degenerate" is absurd. Also considering that by many statistics, children do better then they used to just a few decades ago.

Significantly better than some historical standards and significantly worse than others. We aren't doing the best that has ever been done across all cultures and history in this regard, not by far.
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