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How to boss without being bossy

jeffwofford.com

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Re: How to boss without being bossy

#61

Post by opportune »

happytiger wrote: post #55

Good tech leaders generally don’t command: they inspire. And when you’re at the point where you’re trying to figure out the “right way to say things” you’ve already, utterly, failed. Good tech leaders influence, guide, and grow people. They are honest and authentic . The management style I have seen work the best is when people act in a real, genuine and sincere ways that are true to who they are as individuals and a…

I don’t think this is necessarily true. Delegation is the name of the game in any large organization - managers exist to sift down tasks to a doer. You can’t delegate many kinds of tasks by inspiring people. You can generally only inspire people into things they want to do and find interesting anyway but the unfortunate truth is that there is a lot of boring/annoying/not fun stuff that needs to be done and it can’t all be done by the CEO alone.

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#63

Post by happytiger »

opportune wrote: post #61
happytiger wrote: post #55

Good tech leaders generally don’t command: they inspire. And when you’re at the point where you’re trying to figure out the “right way to say things” you’ve already, utterly, failed. Good tech leaders influence, guide, and grow people. They are honest and authentic . The management style I have seen work the best is when people act in a real, genuine and sincere ways that are true to who they are as individuals and a…

I don’t think this is necessarily true. Delegation is the name of the game in any large organization - managers exist to sift down tasks to a doer. You can’t delegate many kinds of tasks by inspiring people. You can generally only inspire people into things they want to do and find interesting anyway but the unfortunate truth is that there is a lot of boring/annoying/not fun stuff that needs to be done and it can’t a…

Managers are leaders are vastly different animals that are often incorrectly conflated.

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#64

Post by opportune »

kstenerud wrote: post #52

This is one way to command, but it isn't the best way, because the "best" way depends on the people you command. Some prefer hands-on, others prefer hands-off. Some like very strong decisiveness ("You do this") while others prefer a more consensus-style approach ("let's get opinions on this"). At the end of the day, it comes down to "know your audience". You'll have your own preferred way of leadership, and the peopl…

Agree with this. It also goes beyond preference to the level of guidance and autonomy the person needs to be effective (even if they want a lot of autonomy, it might be better to not give them it). Also the nature of the work itself - if must-haves totally book your team you really can’t give them much flexibility or autonomy outside those must-haves.

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#65

Post by yCombLinks »

abenga wrote: post #60
yCombLinks wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That makes me so mad! Just put down a checklist and I'll gladly do it! Not sure why emotional manipulation needs to happen!

In this very specific example, I really don't see why anyone needs a checklist, or to be reminded. It's your household too, you need to know the things that need to be done, and do a reasonable share of them. In the more general "team at work" case, it's also straightforward, sit together, define the bucket of work that needs doing, distribute it "fairly", and go do it. The team leader's job is to get and communicate…

That's just not how I view it. Here's the rule. Check if the garbage needs to go out every afternoon. Absolutely fine. Vs remember if this matters -> torture! I can work 100% of the time to make sure the clearly set out objectives are met without complaint. Once it becomes subjective, I would rather not be involved.

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#67

Post by r7r8f73j »

rocqua wrote: post #57

I find 'take out the trash' so much less hsrsher than 'you will take out the trash'. The first statement permits the response 'no'. It is clearly an order, with room for agency on the other side. The second statement doesn't permit a response. To disagree you have to say 'you are wrong'. The statement leaves no room for free will. It assumes the authority of the command to be overwhelming. Or perhaps it is a threat.…

It might be a stylistic choice, and an Office Space meme, but I tend to prefer issuing certain kinds of instruction in a vulnerable way. So for example "Hey X, I need you to take out the trash." But tone is a little important since if you sound insincere it comes across as condescending.

Re: How to boss without being bossy

#70

Post by romafirst3 »

Paul-Craft wrote: post #59
jmye wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the article’s advice to think about and notice phrasing is good: we should all be aware of the words we use, and how they sound. But I think your suggestions mirror my experience in actually getting the person to do the thing. The other benefit is that the same steps, more or less, work well when managing up as well as down.

Absolutely. Words matter. However, one thing I have found is that when you go around telling people to do things, they frequently tend to do them. Sometimes, that's fine. After all, I would assume no rational human is going to "command" someone to do a thing if they don't think they want that thing done. Personally, I've found that pointing people in a general direction ends up yielding far superior results. Empower…

It depends on the team and the stakes.

Sometimes your team will surprise you but often they’ll horribly disappoint you. If the stakes are low, sure do whatever, but if shit matters …

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