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Two-parent households should be a policy goal

theatlantic.com

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Re: Two-parent households should be a policy goal

#61

Post by ormaybejust »

NDizzle wrote: post #20
NoMoreNicksLeft wrote: post #10

I don't think that's been sociologically plausible for many decades. Some things are easy to tear down and nearly impossible to build back up. In some circles, the mere suggestion that this should be a policy goal is insulting, as it hints that single-parent homes are inferior. Our government isn't really allowed to prefer one over the other, even if it would result in less misery. Furthermore, the tools that governm…

Single parent households are inferior, so why not spell it out?

Well, sorta. In America we don't build communities as well, so a single parent is alone to raise their kids and also work.

A single parent with a strong local community of caregivers who can help perform the work of raising a kid in their community is probably not worse off than the standard, alienated two parent household in America.

So while what you say might be true in America, I don't think it's axiomatic.

Re: Two-parent households should be a policy goal

#62

Post by avmich »

matthewfelgate wrote: post #41
a-user-you-like wrote: post #19

Nothing better than a father and mother in a stable, loving relationship for a child. Yes, let’s encourage this.

Encourage how? Force unhappy couples together? You think that is good for the children?!

Money promote happiness, so having more money could be a subgoal. This is a rough description, of course.

Re: Two-parent households should be a policy goal

#63

Post by [deleted] »

matthewfelgate wrote: post #23

The 1970s called; they'd like their arguments back! Arguing that children with married parents fare better, thus promoting two-parent families, is akin to suggesting that since blue cars have fewer accidents, everyone should drive a blue car. Pressuring dissatisfied couples to stay together or marry benefits no one. The article fails to provide actionable recommendations on promoting marriage.

[deleted]

Re: Two-parent households should be a policy goal

#64

Post by ajmurmann »

digging wrote: post #48
bbor wrote: post #9

Serious question: why not three parent? Does every stable relationship involve sexual aspects? Seems like an article stating an obvious fact but missing the bigger picture

[flagged]

The nuclear family also is a fairly recent norm in there west from the mid 20th century. Before then it was much more common to live with extended family. Having grandparents and uncles and aunts all living in the same building or next door makes childrearing so much easier. There is a reason we used to live like this. It's at odds though with the ideal worker in our economy who relocates to where job opportunities are best.

Re: Two-parent households should be a policy goal

#66

Post by anon291 »

_greim_ wrote: post #46

The problem with two-parent is you're a single misstep away from one-parent. Multi-generational and communal households would be more resilient, and easier to accommodate via tax incentives and housing policy.

A multi generational household occurs naturally when grandma and grandpa had a stable two parent households and now mom and dad do too.

Moreover, it's not necessary to force everyone in the same house. My parents and inlaws are within 20 minutes. It's great and since they are both married and happy, there's little family stress and the kids get ample time with both grandparents. God forbid, if anything were to happen to either my wife or I, they would be well taken care of.

Eventually our parents may move in or closer by, but right now, it's nice for everyone to have some separation.

Re: Two-parent households should be a policy goal

#67

Post by matthewfelgate »

avmich wrote: post #62
matthewfelgate wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Encourage how? Force unhappy couples together? You think that is good for the children?!

Money promote happiness, so having more money could be a subgoal. This is a rough description, of course.

[flagged]

Re: Two-parent households should be a policy goal

#68

Post by fasthands9 »

I can't read the whole article but remember learning in the past that children of widows have outcomes more similar to two-parent households than divorced parent households. This would seem to suggest the divorce is more of a signal of family/status than something which is driving bad outcomes.

At the same time, I do think people have gone a bit too far in their want to not give anyone shame. Yes - some shame is not going to help single-parent households now but I would think some societal shame would prevent people from being reckless with having kids or maybe make people think twice about leaving their partner when it really is just a rough patch.

https://www.jstor.org/stable/1566757

Re: Two-parent households should be a policy goal

#69

Post by anon291 »

lokar wrote: post #30
a-user-you-like wrote: post #19

Nothing better than a father and mother in a stable, loving relationship for a child. Yes, let’s encourage this.

How exactly is that better the two mothers? Do you have evidence?

There is ample evidence that boys and girls with fathers do better.

Re: Two-parent households should be a policy goal

#70

Post by the_other »

a-user-you-like wrote: post #19

Nothing better than a father and mother in a stable, loving relationship for a child. Yes, let’s encourage this.

It’s not a universal good. It’s often good (I grew up this way, as did most of my friends and we’re mostly fine), but the nuclear family is also sometimes a breeding ground for the worst abuses. Insisting on it, giving it special privilege gives privilege to those abuses.

Kids absolutely benefit from stable, nurturing surroundings. But that could take so many other forms: multi-generational families, co-parenting, “it takes a village to raise a child”, queer families, polyamorous families; teens might find they benefit more from chosen families. Cultures around the world and across time have used many other systems to help parent. Focusing on the nuclear family is a distraction from the real aim and it might even cause more problems than it solves.

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