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Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

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Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#61

Post by sharts »

deaddodo wrote: post #15
mobilejdral wrote: post #7

I have seen the joke more than a few times about how women would also love to have a wife to take care of the home and everything mentioned in the article, but unfortunately they are straight and so they would have to be the wife. I went on a date with a guy who told me he is looking for a housewife with everything that you would expect and actually lean more into the 1950's version. Later in the date he let out that…

I had the opposite problem, my ex wanted to be taken care of and not have to work (traditional housespouse); but they expected me to do half of the housework (or more, in the case of the dogs they wanted). I would work 8-10hrs a day, then spend another 1.5ish walking dogs and .5-1ish doing house chores. After I was done, I would have to listen to them complain about how exhausted they were mopping the floors. When I…

I have been there as well. Happy to be single. When it gets lonely I think back to how it could be and then carry on.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#62

Post by sharts »

wernercd wrote: post #10
mobilejdral wrote: post #7

I have seen the joke more than a few times about how women would also love to have a wife to take care of the home and everything mentioned in the article, but unfortunately they are straight and so they would have to be the wife. I went on a date with a guy who told me he is looking for a housewife with everything that you would expect and actually lean more into the 1950's version. Later in the date he let out that…

"be a 1950's and 2020's woman." I hope he understands you're still laughing at him.

What’s a 2020’s woman?

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#63

Post by sharts »

Apocryphon wrote: post #57
jcarrano wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Better than being dependent on a soulless employer, while still having to take care of the family. Actually, being able to depend on someone you trust is the real liberation.

In premodern times, it wasn't so much trust as societal mandate. You have to imagine that domestic abuse and neglect ran rife and was just accepted as par for the course.

What’s so different in modern times? Exploitative employers have taken their place via social mandate.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#64

Post by brightlancer »

jstarfish wrote: post #35
throwaway4aday wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If both partners work then: - many more meals must be ordered in or eaten out instead of prepared from scratch - transportation cost increases, more vehicles needed which means more gas more insurance more repairs or more transit fare and now both people sacrifice possibly hours of their day to commuting - childcare services must be paid for and transportation arranged for them - the choice of housing now has the add…

> If both partners work then [...] more vehicles needed I was thinking about the logistics of this the other day since one of our cars is down, I'm WFH with a SAHM and I hate the expense of having to maintain two cars. Maybe this is the time to downgrade to one (which will be followed by mandatory RTO, knowing my luck). Being a housewife is Work. It's a full-time unpaid job that frequently involves bringing things to…

It depends. Lots of families need two cars -- but some just prefer it. And as with housing (and everything else), families can often make due with something smaller, older, etc. because it's cheaper.

There is this "modern" expectation of a lifestyle, but most of those things aren't _necessary_. There are lots of families which need two incomes to maintain the necessary stuff, but it's not the majority and few of them are reading HN.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#66

Post by wooque »

mobilejdral wrote: post #7

I have seen the joke more than a few times about how women would also love to have a wife to take care of the home and everything mentioned in the article, but unfortunately they are straight and so they would have to be the wife. I went on a date with a guy who told me he is looking for a housewife with everything that you would expect and actually lean more into the 1950's version. Later in the date he let out that…

He is delusional, but there are plenty of guys, me included, that would like to have housewife, and will provide everything and anything she needs to be happy and comfortable in that role.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#67

Post by mobilejdral »

deaddodo wrote: post #45
mobilejdral wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I just have to ask, did you expect your ex to work 24/7 for you? When did the job of being the traditional housespouse get off? 6pm? 8pm? never? When were they simply allowed to be your partner and get to stop taking care of you? Having to walk your dog (it is your dog no matter whom wanted it) and sounds like helping to clean up dinner sure sounds like a really hard life. After you divorced did you hire a maid, etc?…

I didn't expect anything from them. Way to perfectly encapsulate the entitled gaslighter/perpetual victim. Glad to know that, in your mind, it's perfectly valid for someone to contribute nothing and expect a free ride. They just decided they wanted to be a traditional housespouse. I certainly would have liked them to contribute something to the household, like walking the dog that they went and got of their own accor…

And there it is, you think being a housewife contributes nothing. In your own words they were doing half of the housework, but evidently that contributes nothing and was a "free ride".

> Mostly since I was spending the majority of my hard earned money on them sitting on their ass watching TV or going to museums and cafes with friends. And the majority of my time supporting their lifestyle.

And again it is adorable that you think it was your money. Legally married as you found out when you divorced, money earned during marriage is legally owned by both and split.

Really it sounds like you failed to have any sort of real conversation about life plans when you were younger. You then made all sorts of assumptions which not surprisingly blew up in your face.

I am willing to bet anything that if they got a job and you were both employed you would have still complained that they should be doing their half of the house work, which would have been all of the house work and you would have "walked the dog" as your half. And if you two had kids, of course you wouldn't have helped there either and she could see that hell coming.

Sounds like you wanted a bangmaid and not a life partner.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#68

Post by brightlancer »

sharts wrote: post #65

Another solution would be generational and family housing. Kind of amusing that the solutions to modern problems are quickly becoming what were once thought of primitive lifestyles and culture.

Yes, and even if the grandparents or extended family live elsewhere but nearby, there can be a sharing of the workload: not just meals and childcare, but also a family member who works on everyone's cars, one who does a lot of the yard work, one who does house repairs, etc.

Multi-generational and extended family houses work for some folks, but more broadly we have the problem that adult children move away from their families and start a new family somewhere else, without a replacement for that support structure.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#69

Post by Apocryphon »

sharts wrote: post #63
Apocryphon wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In premodern times, it wasn't so much trust as societal mandate. You have to imagine that domestic abuse and neglect ran rife and was just accepted as par for the course.

What’s so different in modern times? Exploitative employers have taken their place via social mandate.

As pointed out elsewhere, far more flexibility in changing employees over changing domestic partners, even if that has gotten easier as well.

And as terrible as bad employers might be, they usually cannot inflict the levels of physical and emotional abuse that bad spouses can. Business, not personal.

Re: Housewives Are One Surprising Solution to “Millennial Burnout”

#70

Post by deaddodo »

mobilejdral wrote: post #67
deaddodo wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I didn't expect anything from them. Way to perfectly encapsulate the entitled gaslighter/perpetual victim. Glad to know that, in your mind, it's perfectly valid for someone to contribute nothing and expect a free ride. They just decided they wanted to be a traditional housespouse. I certainly would have liked them to contribute something to the household, like walking the dog that they went and got of their own accor…

And there it is, you think being a housewife contributes nothing. In your own words they were doing half of the housework, but evidently that contributes nothing and was a "free ride". > Mostly since I was spending the majority of my hard earned money on them sitting on their ass watching TV or going to museums and cafes with friends. And the majority of my time supporting their lifestyle. And again it is adorable th…

> And again it is adorable that you think it was your money. Legally married as you found out when you divorced, money earned during marriage is legally owned by both and split.

It's adorable you think we were married. They got nothing in the break up other than a lost ride and a one-way ticket to a deadend job. Oh, and a dog they tried abandoning on the streets a couple months later. Real upstanding person you're defending there because of your imagined solidarity in gender/perspective.

> Sounds like you wanted a bangmaid.

Nope, just a partner.

Funny how you're stuck on the one point of housework when I made it clear from the beginning that I would prefer they go earn their own money and we do a 50/50 split of chores. Obviously, because you know that that is a totally reasonable stance and you'd look ridiculous for saying they deserve to stay at home and do nothing while using someone else's money and effort to live off of; so you try to reframe it as some desire on my part. It's not working, move on.

You also probably think any man you date that wants to "go dutch" is a deadbeat too. You'll say no, because you know it'll look hypocritical; but we both know what you actually think, statistically.

Really shows how you most definitely treat your current partner. I truly hope they haven't legally entangled themselves to you.

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