I'm on Coinbase's side. From their point of view, this story reads like "I am trying to launder money". Why not just use a payment method with a settlement period, instead of insisting on using a (new) debit card?
You're on the side of the company with crap support ghosting its customers? For your users' sake I hope you're never in charge of running a business.
They have no obligation to keep responding to someone who isn't even a customer yet, and appears incapable of transferring money to them in a legal way that their policies support.