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The silent struggles of workers with ADHD

bbc.com

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Re: The silent struggles of workers with ADHD

#61

Post by EdwardDiego »

So much of this is familiar, the timeliness, forgetfulness, the blurting things out, but especially that feeling of "FFS, why can't I do these things like everyone else, I suck".

I was incredibly lucky, once I got into software dev, that my untreated ADHD often manifested in hyperfocus, so I could deliver large amounts of business value in bursts, that meant my other foibles were tolerable.

Of course, my spending 20 hours of a day hacking on something for a week was very hard on my family, but at least I stay employed.

I much prefer being medicated. The symptoms are still there, but manageable. I still need lists to ensure I don't forget things, but at least with medication I a) remember I have a list and b) remember to use it.

So many times previously, people would say "Just write a list, how hard is that?"

It was quite hard.

Re: The silent struggles of workers with ADHD

#62

Post by adamwk »

cheeseomlit wrote: post #36
pcurve wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"And nearly half of them mentioned "by the way, I have ADHD" Statistically that seems rather unlikely, so I wonder if people are being over-diagnosed?

Quoted post unavailable.

Who prescribes narcotics to people with ADHD?

Re: The silent struggles of workers with ADHD

#63

Post by EdwardDiego »

RationPhantoms wrote: post #53

This article feels like it was written for my brother. He's been fired, sequentially, 4 times in roles of progressively narrower scope/salary. From project manager (80k+) at a large NYC-BASED structured-cabling company to a billing coordinator position ( It makes me want to put my head into a pillow and scream because he's an intelligent, sociable and kind person but his mind just sits so juxtaposed from what these c…

There are non-amphetamine medications available now that might work for your brother, and cognitive-behavioural therapy can really help too.

Re: The silent struggles of workers with ADHD

#64

Post by _jscs »

Not only did I have ADHD for the first 38 years of my life without being diagnosed, I also had sleep apnea without being diagnosed until around the same time. The challenges from both of these multiply each other. Think oversleeping, late to meetings, difficulty staying organized and focused, being irresistibly attracted to the interesting and hard problems but not the necessary and boring ones.

I tested high-IQ, I did amazing in secondary school, but college and the workforce have been rough. I don't usually stay at a job for more than 2-4 years before the executive functioning problems accumulate to a degree that results in termination, and I've been negative on myself my entire life, told I was lazy, told I was immature or a baby (I'm 50 years old!), etc. etc.

I have a 17 month old son and I'm looking for steadier employment as I've been freelancing for years now (partly to get away from the inevitable judgment of the usual boss) but the pay is spotty. My partner is anxious about my future earning potential given we have a kid now (let's just say "this has impacted our relationship"), and I absolutely cannot stand the flakiness and the rejection and the constantly being measured by someone else's ruler that is part of job application (I had this problem whenever I dated, too). Years ago I noticed that I could not emotionally tolerate applying to more than 1 job a week because the rejections just withered me... "rejection sensitivity dysphoria" is a thing I apparently have. (I couldn't take more than 1 rejection a night from a woman when I was out and about as a single person, either... This might explain why I only found my partner at 39, and possibly why I was basically sexually addicted (sorry, "on and off again") to a prior partner prior to that despite that person being bad for me in numerous other capacities (those dopamine hits are everything!).)

Do you think video gaming is simultaneously more appealing to this type but also makes it worse?

And also, at what point is this more of an excuse than an explanation?

Given that you should not generally disclose your health issues to bosses, how would you even find accommodating work (in, say, technology) with this "limitation"?

Re: The silent struggles of workers with ADHD

#65

Post by EdwardDiego »

codegangsta wrote: post #46

Being very recently diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s (after searching for a source of my chronic exhaustion), it was interesting to notice just how much I masked my own ADHD from myself and others my whole life, where the experience of taking medication definitely matched "putting on glasses for the first time". I've always felt like doing uninteresting things felt like wading through 3 feet of water, but I assumed ever…

> The biggest realization I had was that I have been using negative feelings/emotions in order to get stuff done for years. On the outside I looked like a productive, healthy person, on the inside I was beating myself down all day every day, and that behavior didn't lead to a great relationship with myself.

Yeah, those years of negative self-talk, there's a lot of learning to be kind to yourself that comes with a diagnosis.

Re: The silent struggles of workers with ADHD

#66

Post by giraffe_lady »

fsociety wrote: post #50
ryandvm wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In my experience, most ADHD is really just a case of "I have limited willpower for extremely boring shit." Give me something interesting to do and I can work on it non-stop for 12 hours. The problem is that most jobs and almost all schooling is flat out incompatible with being an easily distractible person. I think it's just a phenotype that doesn't work well in the traditional professional environment. And yes, Adde…

Idk my experience is much different. On the weekend, I would have a list of games I really wanted to play. Boot one up, play for a few minutes, feel like I should be playing a different one, switch and repeat. Or I would have hobbies or activities I would want to do. But would end up in the same cycle. Then at the end of my weekend I would feel down because I spent the entire past two days constantly task switching w…

Yes willpower is too simple and too tied up with connotations of hardworkingness and virtue to adequately explain it. It's more like "don't have control over where attention is focused." Wanting to do it may make it more likely but there are other factors, and I can also easily get caught up in a task that is actively unpleasant. Unmedicated the focus goes where it wants to go, not where I want it to go; but not necessarily nowhere either.

And ADHD people in my experience aren't worse at activities that do require what I would call simple willpower. Things like race cycling or endurance running, where persisting through discomfort and even pain are necessary.

Re: The silent struggles of workers with ADHD

#67

Post by unwind »

pcurve wrote: post #22
2bitencryption wrote: post #17

I just started working with a new team a few weeks ago. So far I've had "nice to meet you" calls with six or seven of the people on this team. And nearly half of them mentioned "by the way, I have ADHD, just so you know." And since I share so many characteristics with these individuals, now _I'm_ wondering if I have ADHD. Certainly the never-ending Instagram ads want me to think so. Or is this becoming a blanket term…

"And nearly half of them mentioned "by the way, I have ADHD" Statistically that seems rather unlikely, so I wonder if people are being over-diagnosed?

On the other hand, the parent's wording kind of made it sound like it was a lot of people. "Nearly half" of "six or seven" could be ... two.

That might be a lot percentage-wise, but it's also a really small number of people to draw conclusions from, isn't it?

Re: The silent struggles of workers with ADHD

#68

Post by k__ »

waboremo wrote: post #57
k__ wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I went in an ADHD rabbit hole a week ago. I never considered my self suffering from it, my quirks were individual parts of my character! But now I highly suspect I have it. I lose focus all the time. For example, Going from doing laundry, to gathering dishes, and bringing out trash without finishing one of them. Or I can't read long articles with topics that are important for me but don't tickle one of my interests.…

Haha, freelancing ADHD is a classic! We seek being our own boss so we don't have to be forced to do what we cannot, only to then intensely struggle completing tasks we know we are capable of due to executive dysfunction, and then feel so much shame and guilt over a struggling freelance business leading to even more restlessness! Anyways definitely seek a specialist, there are many options and even if it's not ADHD th…

I'm not struggling, yet, but, when I think what I could do with more than 5h of work a week, I get sad.

Re: The silent struggles of workers with ADHD

#69

Post by [deleted] »

d--b wrote: post #49

Can people stop a second with ADHD-as-a-disease? It’s the society that’s sick!! Prevalence in the US is 10% of the general population. Many of whom have active social lives and high paying jobs. Those people play the game they have been told to play. Corporate bullshit, boring tasks, endless meetings, and then they complain to their doctors they don’t feel like it fits. Something’s afoot. and the doctors say: “right…

[deleted]

Re: The silent struggles of workers with ADHD

#70

Post by codegangsta »

EdwardDiego wrote: post #65
codegangsta wrote: post #46

Being very recently diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s (after searching for a source of my chronic exhaustion), it was interesting to notice just how much I masked my own ADHD from myself and others my whole life, where the experience of taking medication definitely matched "putting on glasses for the first time". I've always felt like doing uninteresting things felt like wading through 3 feet of water, but I assumed ever…

> The biggest realization I had was that I have been using negative feelings/emotions in order to get stuff done for years. On the outside I looked like a productive, healthy person, on the inside I was beating myself down all day every day, and that behavior didn't lead to a great relationship with myself. Yeah, those years of negative self-talk, there's a lot of learning to be kind to yourself that comes with a dia…

Yup, not everyones diagnosis is the same, but mine was definitely combined with childhood trauma in a way that made it hard to notice anything was wrong in the first place. Can't begin to describe how much easier life feels now that I'm not using negative self talk to get through my day
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